thereds apperently press that is sayong including the london Times widch is where i happened uypon this that i am “feekibsg pressure” from “Nirvcana Fans” as we know there re Nirvana Fans and then there are the 16=180 freaks who Kurt wouldcve hated whp i ignore and hacvnever paid attentipon too and thats why i :switched” from an aunction to a private buyer, this is horsepucky, utterly. There MAY be an auction and there MAY be a p[rivte buyer it depends, id prefer to void the PR of a big auction , but perhaps more cfan go to charity and its fairer to got o an auction,m and perhaaps i dnt wan to be involved in an “inverstment”scheme wherein i sell and then the person sells for three times teh amunt fter the biopic or ten times the amount inten years, wich i may dammed wellw ait for, i started a foundation - the Calliope Foundation years ago to provide arts and music to poor shcools wich Save The Music doe snow and oes well, and also to focus on Suicide prevention and drug abuse addiction esp int he Seattle area, and to create a Kurt Cbain yearly grant for a kid out of Aberdeen.Cosmopolis evcery year - an outsider type kid with artistic musical filmic potential, but shit happened and even tho oi spoke wth Paul Allen ( the othe rhalf of microsofT) the state of Washington was too busy taxing my estate when there was a perfectly legal will ( wicvh statute has no run out) and hiring 16 lawyers i didnt know about etc etc, itllallcome out in this life or Karma or the Akashic Records but itll ll come out, anyway i was busy and moving tp LA and i never got Calliope ( onf the 12 muses she wa sthe mus eof Epic Poetry and iliked her for Kurt) i never di d anything with it i think one event once- but foundations are difficult to run and take alot of effort liek rfunning a lable but a big one and theres alot of fraud in foundations when iw as voraciously reading abnout fraud when i had my fortiune stolen i read one of thebetter books on it and it happened to be one about Cjarities and fraud you have to hve real cops watching, and commiited peopkle like teh case of Music cares when a certaon former emloyee ran it he also raN THE grammies- one dinner they raisee1.8 million but the dinner cost 980k, chuck ohillips at thelta times wona Pulitzer for exposing that story, but i chnated two hours ton ight and really thought about where the money should go and since Calliope stillexistst i may staff it CAREFULLY using professional and go to Trudie Styler an dBono to mke sure im getting the best sorts of people to police it seo this money goes where Kurt would have wanted it and we can keeop it where Kurt is from mybe two grants a year in ein grays harbour an done nationally would be fairer for a scholarship, im thinkinga aloud, but back ot the original point , i dont listen ot cvare what those crazed little hormonal mysoginist kids write about me, i bever read irt and ive come to ther point whrre imnot allthe way there ive practically stopped readinganything about myself at all- my goal is to get to that anthony hopkins place wher eone doesnt read the good or the bad, ever under an y circumstance, i google myself occasdionally abouyt ince a month now,m but i skim and i feel bad for even doing that= im really chanting for alot of things right now alot my list takes three pages = verythingf romamterial thinsg to allevaiting one persons misery each day and bringing joy to on e person each day and for true compassion and to understand why iw as born to these parents and to fulfill my mission and create value in all that i do, inevery actiion creqat value, culture an deducation , fo rthat it os makingmusic that does that particularly live music, and stop being so dammed reactive, i think thats my worst chrcater flaw, i canbe so reactive, and iknow it and it drives me nuts because it doesw not gel with the rest pof my goals and mission truth over fame, virtue over material wealth, and if one can amge t both at the same time , i live in shark pool so its a little hard, but there ar egood compassionate people around me and the 9th consciousness the Law the Secret the m,ystc law the shoten zenjin takes veryvery good care of me when i let go. so the Times piece spread about a bit i askeds someone who does read about me, and i m ust say thi sis nonsense, inever care what they say these freaks, Kurt addressed them in the liner notes of in Utero and in countless interviews and it wa sone of the things that drove him to his death, it hurt and wa snot fun and he feklt so much guilt like us falling in love ha dtaken m,e away from me wich was true but it was worth it, Lovehas sacrifices, and i made the ultimate one= lost my entire idnetity forever, and became identified with a man forweve and ever= but thats nonsesne too i have fith i wil nto always be indentofied ewith himwhen i actr and wgen ising i no longer am indentified with him and when i fulfill m ymission wich is writongand playing music live i am me cxourtney love ( cobain) so i just wanted to straighten that out, ive recieved NITHING but sxupport and even the Times reported that ie as recieving criticisim wlel id recieve crticism if i had a perfect 6 pack and became a nun so its wate roff a ducks back, i also haventhad the opportunity to communicate to the public and speak about the music and the issues that mtter to me Buddhism and compassionand changde and survival and turning poisxon into medicine and helopinga s many peple as its possible fo rmew to help with my exirience strength and hope, burt as far as moving this vast amount ( tome its not a vast amoutn compared to lennons sriff Kurt had very few things henever had a chance to indulge himself in any luxury goods or attractive environments he was too busy making golden eggs for others, and pancakers and unplugging the phine withme an dfrances) but its alot of stuff its jiust very rare= and the price quoted i was told will dpuble afte rthe biopic and inten years will triple at thevery least so lets see where i can creat ethemost value out of these things that peple want-= i knew this wehn Kurt s sweater fetched 280 ooo usd for Unicef- it was just asweater tome but it meant the world to this kid,
Iheard about one guy wgo wanted to approach me an older guy whop collected someone else and switche dto kurt because he doesntbelieve there are collectors in that income range that can afford it yet, that upset me as ts nonsendse males 35-45 and there are a plenty of them ar every much into collecting= when is ai dwe were dealing with ONE person he is very priuvate and o plan on being very prubvate about tthe detsils but if that one person doesnt work out the fact os there are others, and they are passionate and not llking top sell or make an investment wich i would prefer-if i sell something to youf or a dollar i dont wan tyou turninga round and selling it for five if it meant alot to me -= tehn again wether its Calliope foundation or a foundation Trudie or Bono ( the two people i woukld take the recomendations from - one my mentor and the other my friend) it deosnt muc matter what they do with Kurts guitar from unplugged otr the Ibanez her playe don Teen Sprirt, and the Mustang he played on heart shaped box of the collage noise cassettes he ,made or the work tapes of the songs as he wrote them= imt hinkings icne franny and KC share a ne xact simnilair sense of humour that his meat collages and comics shoudl be kept for her, and there was ab out 50% of what wa s never publishe dinthe diaries an d perhaps witha sworn affadavut to never reveal the contents iwoudl consider exchanging this to heklp pthers in the various ways ive suggested above.
iev sai ditbefore its an exchange of energies, and my ideal buyer is genuinklya Kurt fan who owning the stuif fwould tke it on musueam tours and woud plkaythe guitars and use things and would value his stuff incredibely, and i could us ethe enrgy exchange to help others inthe ways mentiuoned nd more things Kurt would want solvemncy for his daughter and peronsal investments too bitmistly givingt o other people- rersearch into stmach ailmenst mysterious like him , perhaps even a perfect rehab( ohno i feel a steve coogan pitch coming on and need tpo throw up) ( bless)
anyway No iw a snot pressured by any child blogging if that coujnts as “pressure : wich it sur edoesnt to me or : criticism : wich none would be valid or anyones business everyone can understan dwhy its tiem yot move ona nd to do good works with the proceeds, works tht would creat e artists and promte tehm to stop bullyng to deal woth self destrucrtive fantasies and suicidal ideationa t a young age to hel p ther musicians and to help utside rartists and to grant two yeah imn into that now tewo artists a year one from his home county nd oennatinally and send them for a fukkride to NYU or Bard or wherever is approprate toheklp old musiciamns who got ruipped off who are living nt the streest who made massive hits andnever got a dime, forme to cog into juvenile halls and halfw ay houses an dteach music and arta nd fiilm and slefg belief and value and culture and edcuation to instilla live of reading and to lea dpeple to victory ni matter what - tp show and to prve by exampole that nothing isj impossible aNd dreams come true and as Kurt xchanted with me and listed himself a s a Budhist tyo teach unde rthe lessons of thegreat Biddhist guides.
to build a palace of the heart , using lyrics i dont need to own and hacve gathering dust, and frightwig t shirts and shirts he wore in teen spirit and dresses he wore in in bloom videos and all that stuff, it can go to vcreat so much so very much value inthis world, hed be glad fo rit so would i, and i think thats what sgoing tohappen,
to go to planstoen and tach women how to be independant form sweat shops o theere are so many many things.
and imust sleep because i wak eup do some yoga watch the view and chant, its hoydl be the other wat around ishoudl chant first but its my rythym, id liek to start gettingup more at 6 am liek my friend Trudie told me is teh appropriat etime fo rthis time of year, amnd stop using the net at night sinc ei sometime stend to write things that my bio ruthyms arent censoring from the mainstream press,
IUnany cSDE THESE ITEMS WILL BVE USED FOR GOOD WORKS APPLICABLE TYO KURTS CONCERNS AND INTERESTS AND PROBLEMS AND ITS A WONDERFUL FEELING, AND IF THE BUYER RESELLS FOR TRIPLE INTEN YEARS WELL HAVE FULKFILLED OUT MISSIN AND IT WONT AMTTER A SALE IS A SALE, AND IF ITS TO BE AN AUCTION, SO BE IT, an dio fthe aiudtion doesnt meet teh assessors needs then i withdraw and come back another time,
bti it believ teh stars are aligned and its time now.
i fdell great abotuthis as i wchanted tonight ( 2 hours) my mission here became reallyc lear to me-= this is enough toreally7 change things an dbe a real philanthropist ina serious way and succsfukkly done it grows and grows,a nd f one cares deepky for teh charites they are serving it can only be a food thing
i swear this is true
the ehart is wher ethe true treasures are and the more compassion one shows in every single action thebetter ones life becomes so if you mnust show compassionf or purely selfish reasons at first , it will come natuarlly, a lion is a lion . tht means some roaring biut raringf or comasiions sake and the sake of others joy and teh allevartion of other sd misery.
so yet again to clear ita ll up i as not’pressued : ort criticised:” into makingany decision nor will i ever be by some woyunded children inned of help and fuklopf greed and wraath and folishneess, they r eto be chanted for and prayed for, nto to be listended to, noonews pressuingme tyo do anything idont wnat odo ad uusal my whole life long and thatrs been very very bad andvery very good and i expect it to stay veruy very good for a long time to come and wehen there is siffering i willsuffer whatthere is to siffer and enjoy wahtther eis to eenjoy but aleays keep
VICTORY!!!!!! to creat evalue fulfuill my miisionand become a woman of limitless self esteem, and satya way frof oolishness hell animality an dallthe lower worlds of isffering by my daimokue an demy faith
to feel happy inside is worth everyt material posseion on earth and id o right now- iveben very reactiev lkately abd in hst going tolet go and let gid an dbuddha decide for me, icanbnot contrl the 172 loose ends nor can i c oherently instrcut ther inhow to= it wil all be all good.
exoect the naveen genuius ewebiste mixed with mys pace mid may. its amazxing he sdi maddobnanas webiste but this is nothing lie that its a brulliuantne widea and hasnt been done yet but nothing complex promise youd intahve to be atech head to get this.
love and have a great sleep i now have to get my adreniline down since being online stimulates me and makes me want ogo to 1stdibs.com where the REALLKY brauyitful furnitutr is.
going to sleep blessings upn you all!
nam myoho renge kyo (THAT is the secret)
Court
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