Wednesday, July 27th, 1994
OK KOOL get me to thee net…..i just dont wanna sidle anywhere near Albini and his horde of math rockers…..please post this magic question…..tell me someone why the hell i am iconoclastic re;gen eccchhhh but have not sold as much as the Breeders(and the answer is NOT that we suck and i dress funny and married a rockstar-and you know it fishdick) why do i get mail from Cher,asked to uh…”come down to the set” by Demi(I hear you math boy and i most certainly did no such thing-you just want it) a VERY UNWELCOME-NON PARTICIPANT upcoming Peeple and E Weekly cover? What fuking happened to the Pixies? You remember before the deconstruction,dismemberment and (thank YOU mr Corgan,oh by the way William im carrying your own little Billy-funny how that happened with your WIFE in the damm room-gee shes liberal)DISARMENMENT of me and mine? When you could start a band get a little bigger than the German Circuit-doesANYONEREMEMBERTHEGERMANCIRCUITWELL IT WASNTMUCHFUCKINGFUNTHATSWHAT-make a bit of dosh,be big in the UK and only be recognized by clerks at roughTrade? calling me a big media whore in those days was fine it was true-i love nothing more than pissing on my phlegmatic,pointy nosed evil witch in a low rent industry jobbed peersHAHA or omething along those lines-but this..this is and has been ridiculous and Noam Chumsky has NOT provided the answer,if anyone knows Jason Cohen author of said,Generation ecccchhh,pls tell him (im serious) he is my Jewish prince, i want an answer AND a date. Janet Billig says he even talks that way,tell him itll make the Star and then he can ponder this quest in an even new light-should i just go back to college?Bennington!Wellesly!Harvard!!!!…uh…..EVERGREEN!!!!!!!! IVe only got 2 terms left for a nifty degree in guess what……THATS RIGHT!THE SAME AS ALL THE REST OF YOU!!!!………LIBERAL ARTS!!!!!!!!!we all know how far that gets us in our streamlined modern world,the world of the fast track and the information superhighway! YOU JUST WON AN INTERN JOB AT MTV AND I AM GROSSLY OVER FAMOUS!!!!For what? writing-sorry you know its true-very good very obvious English major lyrics and listenin g to The Psychedelic Furs and PIL way too much.?okay okay ill do snl but only cos Jeanne Garofolo joined the cast and Patti very much knows shes gaygaygay.Im sorry if ive upset your concept of celebrity by actually participating in this,but HEY! your concept of celebrity was just boomer handed to you anyways…see,just like Thurston….IM ACCESSIBLE!I LIVE IN A HOUSE! I HAVE A CHILD!I AM HUMAN!THE LIVINGHIEROPHANT! THE COVER OF MS.AND ESQUIRE THE SAME MONTH!AND IT ISNNT A CONTRADICTION! I MUST BE…..WAIT FORIT….A FEMMENIST(Thanx Noam) okay fuckoff peace love empathy and kiss my ass…. 2 more things;id like to pot a very public apology to Nils Bernstien for being a lame ass and accusing him of something he did not do,it would be boring to try to excuse myself so i wont. also,guess what ponies?I DONT DO HEROIN!!!!!thats right, I hardly ever have so blow me,its gross and its DIRTY.now ive really let you down…im sorry…maybe SARAH MCCLACHLEN DOES..COS SHE THINKS I DO…COS ITS CHIC AND KOOL…. bye now Courtney,no no dumbass not TORI,Courtney. AND NO MORE FUCKING MID SUICIDE E MAIL-CALL THE FUCKING HOTLINE OR WRITE TO VEDDER -IM ROOF BORNE MYSELF STOP IT YOU LITTLE ALTERNATEEN BRATS!!! COURTNEY,AND THE BLOOD IS DRIPPING ONTO THE NOTEPAD……WELL YOUR SUCKING MINE AND ILL LIVE THRU THE NUCLEAR WINTER LIKE ITOR NOT…..i can see it now…rambling,incoherent,POOR TYPING SKILLS !!!publish at your own peril,i promise to be very very pissed…… AND
Infamous deleted threads from Kittyradio.com (including the Kurt Funeral Parlor post)
Original page: HERE
The Problem with Krist
Dear Krist I was concerned as to why this story took on such a "sexy" life this weekend- I know how to handle stories very well - And the no comment mutual agreement we decided on Thurday was decided- as a matter of fact i was very assuring to Jill she should waste zero time on it- i know how to make these things go away by leaving them be. it never fails- so as the story grew i knew there must be a leak- and th eleak has priven to be you- going back on your word in the very forst instance of your new resoltuion to " try to see what can work" I could have spun this and told the truth and very much embarassed you this weekend but i did not- it would have hurt the catalogue of Kurts songs to take this to the public. I also know that NO ONE WENT PHYSICALLY intot he Seattle Courthouse-at any time- including the first break of the story. I also as of tonight now know that you have been speaking "off the record" with reporters at the P.I. I also know that until at the latest this morning maybe even late this afternoon your site "murky slough" held not only your "declaration" but also other disparaging things about me and my family- was linked to the PI s site. perhaps a MONTH ago int he face of the judges decision would have been a wise time to take this down from your website? In your own( now public ) words- "this case is about who was in the band"- as i think you realise that may be true if you were trying this case in the local cafeteria of Spin Magazine 1996- but it is a true and total absurdity in a court of law- as anyone with Civics Class knowledge will tell you. this case is about sidemen who were "in the van" but own nothing but artists masters telling someones wife and heir what to do- when they tell her at all In discovery- the years of disrespect- libel- slander- bearing false witness- sleaze- not copying me or putting the input of the family into anything will come forth- your mothers and daves mothers bank accounts versus wendy O connors and John SIlvas will come forth. it will be ugly. when you made the quote " i wonder what Kurt would think" you can wonder all you want= but the law decrees that you have no right to act upon that. You formed a false "llc" when i was stoned and grieving- for years ive tried to work it out privately and you wouldnt allow that. Then when i prove that not only am i willing to take this all the way and strip you of any more power you may have to hurt Kurt ( having hurt him for so many years in his lifetime and having treated him like shit- and turned your head on his medical condtions and simply boorishly yelled judgements and declarations insteadof helping me to get him fed, seen by doctors, stop touring, you forced the entire situation on me- his wife- a situation i dealt with to the best of my ability because i am his wife and love/d him very much and these things were my duty) and even AFTER this slanderous business"shes a bitch so - you know like- bitches can't be wives your honour" as usual bullshit defense- wich NO judge of ANY stripe is going to hear as legal argument i am gracious enough ONLY because i like Jill berliner NOT because i value your input wich can only be TOTALLY destructive as youve proven time and time again with your ranting against exactly the ghosts wich dont exist while permitting complete ignorance about the music business itself- to allow us to graciously discuss a way where you will still maintain some dignity- have input and in no way be publicly embarassed. i do this also out of concern for you. marriage like blood is a sacred institution in this country and the slander and libel (jersey films lie, Moulin rouge lie, how you are discreet with press lie, silva doing a good job lie- every sentence LIE) you just put me through and then LEFT UP ON YOUR WEBSITE has forced me with no other option but to take this to trial in December. because you can not be trusted on even a simple thing like this You cannot keep your word and Jill cannot control you to not hurt the catalogue. I will inform Yale and Jill in the morning. This behaviour is pathological, and i know as do we all what causes it, years ago i had to go into a 12 step program it was VERY hard to do, and it was the best thing for me- my ability to stay off of narcotics has brought me many blessings and i would hope that for you you will seek help for your alchohol issues wich are only going to in the end destroy your life. Sincerely Courtney Love Cobain
they fired the first guy but they never firef the rest of them i forget the name bliese funeral home? is that it? blaights fineral home? anyway they didnt fire anyone else theyall probably stillwork thier will smart- houston texas-a ttorney at law- call anjdsay "im from time magaxine and i just ofund out about he cobainincident and werew about to bust your chain wide open and ihave one question for you will why did you torture his mother? why ddint you do the right thing>? you saw the evidence the tapes- why did you not pay damages tothis women and have the dignity to not ell her what they were for? how oculd you sit in a room going "ooh shes abitch waut tul i gether ont he stand" the salem witchtrail defense and not havethe ethice to take care of the boys mother? ask will this wait tell him" im doing an expose on the other ase in tacoma( this was the same chain they did sor tof the same thing with a female congresswoman they danced with her and posed her in pornoi shoits he rname i THINkwas dixie) about your whole chain- noone will turst you when im done with you- why was your boner to gety courtney love in stand sao you could talkjabout ehat a bitch she is supersede the damnages you should have quietly paid mrs oconnor without casuing her an image that will haunt her for the rest of her life" calalhim someone lie and scare the shit out of will smart "i am going to th presifdent of your conpany and im taking this vanity fair fromn six years ago out about your practise of cremating the wring people and overcharging for extra fees and all the corruption and its going to make you fired and suck all becasuse yopur witchtrial boner superseded any ethics you may have had- you are abillion dollar a year compnay will- why didntyoujust give this greiveing mothera stipend- she didnt need to knwo why- whmaybe willsmarts biner for this will come back to haunt him charge the long distance to me i an tfor the life of me remmeber thebaem of the chaain butthey are the biggest funeral home chchin in the us - billins a year they ve nbought every mom and pop funeral home and theyve been in big toubkle before but he "fag" was thatnecessary? the lawyer inthe case was seattle lawyer named brian collucio. call will smart thats what you can do for me- make him scared. he KNEW it was no sweat to pay damages bit his sexist evil courtney bitch boner overrode it so hes going to hell i hope anyaya we should delete this tonoght it snot he story i want anyone to hear i was just sad and sick and sad and ims till sad and sick and sad .......he was so shy. she said
i wish i had a xanax i dont have oe and now in oreally fuckeing twisted and sad''']]okay here we are illlt ellyoumore some little shit worked at the seattle coroners office he "volunteered" to accompany the body to the funeral home' when he go there he fressed the body had his friends come and videotaped him andhis freinds dab=ncing weith the body the danced with him then one of them cut him- they cut parts of him and they kept them them he somehow go t ahol dof the suicide note and made tshirts of them then i founf out in areallyhorrible way- somneone had taped this tape of themn dancing withhis body after they shaved his head theres( i cantw atchit) girls sittin drinking beer while thyeplay pearl jam music an ddnacew withhis boddy broken and bloody thye shaved his head okay you wantmore this funeral home is oart of a chain( because edward went thought htis eithme when his moim died he founf out the funeral hime was inthe sam echain and hin andhis briher went there and stayed until she was put int heivern and creamted) the chain is a billion dollar a year business based in houston i decided to quietly and without telling wendy and kim- sue them for ALOT as it seemd every emplyee att hehome dabnced with him and cur him someone cut out his HEART- iwas going to take than money front hese fuckers and just out it in wendys account i knw if i publicied this it would disgrace this poor kid even more one of the guys carved words into him. the word i heard they carved was "fag" okayis this great or what? so apack of lawyers come from housron and in setatle theres noi emotional damages just punitive ones and the lawyer says " i will tak eyou oin the stand for discovery" a nd i bluff and say ": iwill call newseeek there was a vanuty fair artice=le abouyt your insane chainandhow ciorrupt it is" he says "yeahbut i wil get you onthe stand an dmake you tell every dirty bad thing yiyuve ever done" i canthave this onthe cover of time obviiously i say looke gove the mom and sisters a million bicks and make this go away he demands tomeet them they dontknow and i tell them soften the story sa little kurts mom walks intot he deposition room she doesn thear the whole story and still does not know it all- but she just finds out about the dancing withhim it was the queitest i =ever sae her be and the saddestthing ive ever heard another say she starts to weep and she says..... after a long long pause "MY BABY WAS SO SHY" AND the whole roomstarts to cry- and then the houstonlawyer ( hisname is willmsart illnever foregtthat name) says lady ill giveyou 250 thousand dollars right now and wendy stoof up very slowlu and grabbed my hand and said "i dont wan tyour filthy money- not know and not ever" and she leaves the room thats the tip of sad waht would you have me do.? oh babe i=theres more thats sad- thatsup htere buitheres worse stuff too ill delete this in abit and please respect this and dont copy it im really ralaly emotional rightnow becaieue noone knows this outside if the family and charlie and ofcourse krist who blamed me somehow-becaue you now im a bitch willsmart houstonlawyer prank his ass tell him i sent you tell him im a loose fucking cannonand ive gone crazy with repressed misery whatever look him up willmsmart attorney they knew id bnever denigrate his k=mmenory bytaking this to the media while your at it call dr steve scappa in= la and ask him how his : hes not suicidial he justneeds t be seoeratedf rom courtney and frances thing works" hes listed too go on you wan tvengeancde for kurt> get it
CHAD is kurts half brother his fathe ris don this shit DOES matter because io stuffed it in for years and just dealt and now this ass wipe makes this declaration that the judge threw in his face and I made the first move the next day after the judge said its hers not yours goodbye and said what would you liek to do and obviously things will change but i will keep you inthis with me no dave no john no gary just me and you and your lawyer and you can get inpu tfrom dave whatever i just dont want to hear about ti and lets get this ready for christmas but the changes have to be made to wich he said okay did i ask for a public apology? no did i ask for the past to be revisited? no and thursaday someone at the seattle paper found out what had gone down and i said to his lawyer no sweat just no comment on it itll die its tot ocnfusing and they wont figure out what its really about anditll just cruise somewhere into "courtneys martin luther king music war" and noone will know and she was so relieved- and called her client Krist who had the entire time left thsi shit up on his website after making a huge deal about the no comment thing he will always fuck stuff up- he hated kurt- he treated him like shit- i cannot have him around it will never work no dicsions will get made unless of course your a bigger fan of wishkah than youa r eo fany other materail that was krists project i decided to let him do it hi slawyer defended the terrible choices made on there selfish and things Krist ;liked not KLurt- and of course "nirvana" was a band theyve got a VAST amount of money to show fro rit and always will wichis more than hendirxes ( hendrixes guys were also a band and at the time people knew thier names too) as "something he needed to work out" well its indefensible defiling the catalogiue oif KURTS songs- could you repeate that liek amantra please-= KURT WROTE HIS OWN SONGS KRIST AND DAVE WROTE NOTHING HE MADE A WILL HE ALSO DIED WITHOUT IT BEING MORE THAN A DRAFT BBUT IT TOO EXISTS AS A DOCUMENT= A WILL ACTUALLY SIGNED BY US BOTH THAT LEFT WHAT WAS NEEDED TO BE LEFT TO ME HIS MOM AND HIS DAUGHTER AND HIS SISTERS AND HIS HALF BRITHER CHAD\ AS WELL AS PEOPLE LIKE ALEX MACLEOD ( the person mentioning kelly knows that alex was the only fucking persont hat ever other than eric helped me with hospitals and ambulances and the whole other shit noone noone else did and then alex was forbidden to do anything leaving the whole fucking meltdown in my and eric and pat smears lapos) and a few other people in the will people who i have given things to BUT IT DOESNT MATTER BECAUSE I DO THINGS ACCORDING TO HIS WILL AND I CANT WAIT UNTIL WE GO TOT TRIAL AND I GET TO POP THIS DOCUMENT WICH STATES CKEARKY THAT THOSE TWO GUYS AND ANY MEMBER OF MY FAMILY ( think we know who that was i put that in myself) CANT HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH HIS MUSICAL FUTURE supppose i had died first? i almost did once- wonder what that would have been like lots of times i think it would havebeen cooler if i had died instead death cant possibly be that bad- it must be sort of okay or everyoine wouldnt do it so much i bet hed have checked his shit real fast- gotten clean- married someone even nastier and bitchier than me- hehe- who? its sort of a fun game i like to play alot of girls pretend they went out with him- i know drew had this thing about it the birthdaysthe same the basic sweet secret grumpy nature the same- would he have had a winona phase? would he have made friends with cameron crowe? would he have had a movie star girl phase? woul dhe have had a ? who would kurt have dated had he lived? and i died or we broke up? and if iwas watching fromthe dead_ wich i sometiomes think he does ( not into the gavin thing i could feel it) one thing for absouloute natural fact truth hed have dumped those two shits as he already HAD publicly if hehadlived in aminute you know whenever these people say "they wer egtting a divorce" its so sick where do they get this? i once asked our lawyer in themiddle of a fight to get me divorce papers really loud so he could hear me and also maybe stop waving a fucking gun around one thing i know- on that universe of hell we lived in someone was going to die every time i go to seattle i walk by that pizzaplace the last place anyone every saw him except the "dealer" ( charlie cross went and founf the "dealer" she changed her name and works at an olive garden in Portland- she clains she was not the dealer- but im almost positive it was a female- charlie thinks it was arandom dealer of the hill by dukes- he knows actually but hes making me wait until i read the book) i reaslise no way were we ever getting pout of this alive- neither of us wanna know while wer e all sharing how i ended up with tom grant? it was asunday like near easter or something i called the manager - he had split the rehab- i called becaus ei fucking KNEW- the nurse said hed gone for a chest xray fuckin chest xray? i also knew steve scappa the shrink ( whose a total loser and still gets the rockstar junkies but doesnt boither telling them this major FUCK UP of his the ego - this shit head was liek a peacock- HE would control Kurt noone else qws allowed to call him and you know they have this fundamental bullshit thing inthese rock n roll junkie couple things i would like to warn all of you who ever get in a codependent relationship about "we have to split them up" BIG fucking mistake so heres this nurse shes telling mechest xray? chest xray? i fucking knew Gibbhy haynes was in there- i knew all the dealers except downtown of course=- iw ent o Nilers house _ he was ajabberjaw guya nd our neighbour when and this is a rich one when nevermind was number one- like eminem scary famou snumber one we lived in ashitty apartment near Canters it was mall and sick i had just gotten a huge amount of cash froma deal i had made andthats all we had a couple hundred grand in my formerly ninexistent city national checking accoun t so we live don that go tour dope money our food money anyway- we read in the wall street journal that Nirvana had "made Geffen records over 100 million dollars so far" i found it and Kurt said- fuck this and took a cab to Silvas office i told him to gfet Silva to find us a sublet in MALIBU ( a sort of other part of the song- if you were following my swordfish ex bf part i knew Malibu was safe and the dealers would come around less) i stayed home we tooka lot of pictures of each other back then and i for some reasont ook his pictuire when he walked back in the door he was carrying a globe of the earth hed made the cab guy wait for him toi buy and he looks really sad/pissed what happened at the Gold Mountain office? he tells me" i am going to kill Silva" why "Silva is sitting inthere with Kim fucking Gordon and i ealk in and i say look i live in a shithole your about to get a million bucks fo rme in a week- Courtneys got her publishing whatever money we want to live somewhere near the beach and in malibu and we need a sublet" and?<<>>>>>> "silva sor to flooks away and Kim says to me really mean" what- is John your realtor now?>" my jaw wasdropping ont he floor This is a basic service one performs for any client - especially the client that has just mad eyou RICJH when last week you hads House of Freaks - Sonic youth who arent excatly pulling it in despite thier cred and fucking Red Kross whoa s fatr a s i knew had adequete housing so heres Kim this jealous upper middle class bitch if Kurt is to be believed wich unless drugs were the topic with me wasnt a liar at all ( except charlie tells me he made out with a girl at a dealers house when we were married -like i give a shit- id just love to know if he fucked her except when he got that stoned like anbyone who could get it up?_ and i wonder if it wss that lame taco bell chick who posted on here-maybe its true- i honestly dont think making out with someone at the dealers house- priobably the deal;er to get your doipe- counts) telling Kurt that John WASNT A REALTOR! johns a fucking millionare we have stalkers dealers and live in a slium at the HEIGHTH of nevermind did you kick his fuckin ASS i ask Kurt mr pisces man people pleaser hold it inside says noi iwalked out of there then he shows me his hand wich is swollen from punching the wall so i call Silva- "your not a realtor? you fuck your not a what? youy get us the fuck out of here an dyou do it NOW": "mumble mumble" "fuck YOU john" three weeks later john big daddy fuckhead comes through with what? a fucking bungalow in a slum in fucking venice where theres even more dealers- its a slum- we now do have millions and maybe an extra million- and we can afford anything but im calling like "roomate finder" because i dont know how to callrealtors and i dont even know if my formerly shitty and kurts totally nonexistant credit is fixed yet and they are baffled we should have had a nice house in malibu by the beach but you know- Kim says johns "not a realtor" so want more? soo niler was called ratty by most people that was hi snickname and charlie tells me NILER picks him up from Exodus- wich maybe explains some more Erlandson heroics i knew that Eric found an dbeat the fuck out of Niler a gfew years ago but i only find out four months ago because ZCharlie tells me THAT NILER PICKS him up after he climbs the wall and takes him to his house as soon as thhis nurse says chest x ray im like a fucking lightning bolt calling the haed of the hospital in my DSOUL i know ive just missed him but hes GOT to be in la perry farrell? Niler? wheres he going to go? i jumo in a cab and go to Nilers house- i dont know where Perrr lives anymore ( rock trivia btw when Perry lived on St Andrews of the jane says song he was the groovy dope dealer of course on the rare occasions i had the cash for dope i wasnt cool enought to actually go into the house where "jane" lived and perry dealt so id wait int he car while IFiunch copped for us- i also wasnt cool enough to get dope from Fabrice who was the Chili Pepper dealer who "killed" Hillel Sloak- who died because he was an idiot and did dope alone wich- if you watch Jesus's son illustartes exactly why people who do dope alone die and people who dont live) callin geric in seattle and screaming at him to check the airline schedule- the assholes at Exodius wont "confrim" wether Kurst gone= you know interestingly i dont know of one person who went to Exodus and stayed clean isnt that funny? gota have a rehab that doesnt work in la i guess. thye are being dicks but i know "chest x ray" means they cant FIND him Charlie ( cross the guy who wroite the book coming out) thinks Kurt was THERE at Nilers House- now i know why eric stalked him- Eric Niler and his creepy girlfirend are no longer withus here in la but i did recently here his name wherein a certain very brilliant and very fucked up actress that most people who like Hole like alot whose sweet and lovelyu and a fucking MESS asks me int he bathroom at the golden globes if iwant to "go to Nilers house with her before we go to the parties" whoa. ididnt knwo your allowed to be a junkie asn da movie star - they told me you werent- i felt really bad for her mostly oi looked at her tracks and thought how the fuck is Niler still even dealing dope? and why the hell does she think i still do it? lkike id ever stick a needle in me after all this shit. anyway yeah me and charlene tilton- you get it here first i beleiev that Kurt was in the backroom at Nilers- he copped and got on aplane to Seattle you know who was on that plane? Duff Mckagen the guns and roses bassist they get drunk together on the plane and Duff offers him a ride ( another Charlie fact i had no clue) he declines and takesa cab instead I am fucked i KNOW this is FUCKED and the sink is going to fall into the floorboards eric goes to the hosue and grabs the guns and bullets i call SILVA- WHAT DO I SAY KIDS? FIND KRIST AN DGET HIM OVER TO THE HOUSE AND GET ME A PRIVATE DETECTIVE silva- now a rich rich man says " this isnt my job call the lawyer" I call the lawyer= she son vacation i call the hotel fucking concirge HYTSERICAL we dont have priuvate detectives iopne th eyellow pages and JSUT START DIALING and i will always remember this shit the first guy was from 'EAGLE' DETECTIVE AND it houyght he wqas rewally scary- dark little guy the next guy is our man Tom- whatever he looks okay i dont care i nned him to do one thing go to setatle and find this fucking guy NOW he tells me he comes to the hotel im at alot for some hooker business( i cant figur ethat now is that like- blackmailing people with hookers- he teells me some hooker stories i cant remember) hes with some kid of his too if i recall correctly it ell him exactl what to do every dealer- keep one guy at the house and let kurt be= do nbot tryi to get himn to go to rehab let hiKnow i dont care and dont try to stop dealers from being at the house or hell just go to thier house go the carnation house and cheack every room the basement garage the whole thing this idiot goes up there and i have to call the cops because he doesnt- hes too stupid- i tried hiring a secind guy right away as soon as i sent him he was trying toleave the next day and i said no you fucking leave now anyway my door knock sint hemorningits fucking ERIC why the fuck is the ONE person who can prevent this in LA? " i heard youw ere dead and Kurt was here" get back get back on the plane- shit we both looked at each other and i just knew eric went to go get back on the plane then i call Niler to get some drugs for fucks sake and call my mother in law to come take care of my kid and Niler comes or someone of his people and givges me some shitty little bit of drugs wich i do but uits crap and then my arm explodes into a rash of shit want me to keep going? yeah oklay i will so i call downstairs because my arms bloiwng up meanwhile im on a phone with stupid ass fat ss yellow pages Private Investiagtor who is nbot doing what im tellinghim to do anmd the coneirge brings me some benedryl ewich i tak ean my arm stops exploding andf i start to pack and cancel Kurts fucking atm so he cant withdraw anymore money thatw ay he has to call me call the fuckingmamanger again tell him Kurts going to die he now says " well theresnothing we can do at this point" ask him has he called Krist to got he house "krist doesn tfeel this is his resposibilty anymore" knock knock its the fucking COPS west hollywood sherrifs department i shit you not this guy ius named DETECTIVE BUTKES pronounced BUTTKISS i get a traffic ticket from this fucker years later he pulls me and Norton over in w hollywood= walks up to the car and sees me and without one word he turnsd on his heels and runs to his car fucking pussy and his squad concierge boy has ntoiced my state and lets not discuss that i have a hoil dion my phone for everyone bit my hudsband - and a month later i see the ohione bill and on april 3 at 7 something am theres a call from our private line to th ehotel and THEY DIDNT PUT IT THROUGH thats the sweet pennisula hotel where i will not enter ever under any circiumstance- Butkes goe s through my shit and he finds one of Steve Scappas prescription pads that the FOOL left in my room -a fucking dr leaves his PAD in my room! then they go through my safe and steal my pearls and a ring and theres my lawyers idiot ashram ashes the very best day of my life to have idiot ashram ashes from her fool guru that manifests neckalaces and turns them into ashes - thsi si her and her husbands yearly fucking india pilgramige its fucking ashed is ay- yeah right they cuff my ass and haul me into the jailhouse- and im sitting there in the beverly hills police station and i gget this FLASH in my head and i see a FLASH i cannot explaint his an dnoone here really knows me so im just digiutally venting things i dont even talk baout except ti jim and toi edward and to eric but i SEE it an di FEEL it and i know- i know i know i know i know all of th esudden th elawyer appears- a criminal lawyer my l;awyer who has magically appeared -you knwo th eone on vacationthat couldnt find me a real private investigator and she takes ME to exodus now because ilm like group hoime girl noone wants me and i leave frances with her and wai tfo rher grandmother to come and i sleep and i wake up and the television is on to the hospital nature cancer people station theres a wren and a sparrow in a golden field its jsutiimages you watch while you die and i go to touch the remote but i dont - soemthing stops me- i just dont change the channel- im in th ehospital not th erehab part- i guess i just need to be in a hospital i dont know and rosemary walks in my room and she looks dead and i scream. and scream. and scream and i think its an overdose - because eric took the guns out and i dont find out its noit anb iverdose until way after all the rest of you know whatthe fucker did and thats almost the end oh yeah except steve scappa the idiot wont give me a valium- hes still you know"incontrol" because hes odne suych a GREAT job of controlling this insane situation and i get a lear jet and grab my fucking kid and walk intot hat fucking greenhouse and fuck you are tjhose assholes even relevent to this story anymore? shall i tell you what the people at the funeral home did to his little body? shall i? yeah well i fucking wont - shall itell you what the peopl,e at the coroner did to his hair hi stoenails his clothes? his pubic hair? shall i? you havent seen SHIT how about that. --------------------------------------------------- sad? no man those are justthe happy parts the sad parts are worse. thos are just the clips and hurry and actiona nd facts the sad parts are worse and gross and dirty and make me wonder if there is a reason to even exist sometimes because god is an atrocious piece of shit to let some of the things ivge seen happen and maybe there isnt a fucking god whatseover. sick bad things sick sick EVIl things evil in ways that are too evil to even poist eevn when im braindead fucked okay you want it? ill fucking tell yoiu mode even then i have to pull back from telling anyone the SAD parts why the fuck dont i have aneedle in my arm right this second i dont know but some nbight si wish i still knew thos epoeple and if it wasnt for the person sleeping upstairs id be dead- but other than edward or drew who would i leave her with jesus fuck- and oh yeah by the way i agree it should have beenme instead- no shit. how many times a day do you think i wish i was dead? and then i try at LEAST to make myself useful like career suicide might be useful anyway to someone somewhere fuck it
------------------------------------------------- Courtney goddamm president Registered: Jun 2000 Location: but im rich Posts: 406 IP: Logged 07-02-01 05:55 AM profile | | email | url | search | buddy | edit | quote --------------------------------------------------------------------------------- hairshirt with fleas again- yikes no those guys DONT have the tapes Eric went through the house and i have th etapes= although one tape turned up stolen from my home during kurts funeral thats one of the tunes in question NOW lets get this staright- from the supreme court to judge judy - there sint a discussion- someone dies their shit goes to thier family- it doesmt go to anyone else kc didnt have apartnership withthose guys and he didnt want one thats number one number two- the mor eoutragous and lame part if jill emory, caroline rue, melissa aufder mar, jason everman, chad channing or any ex member of any band tried to have precendence over my husband or child in the event of my death in any decision to do with the songs i wroote ( in kcs case he wrote 96% of the Nirvana songs youve already heard and 100% oif the ones inmy- MY- safe deposit box) i would have love dot no tonly put out a boxed set ( wich is a bout 80- 100 bucks and too much in my opinion but a) but also an album of these songs-like 12 tracks period it needs to be done correctly and as the heir to this stuff its my responsibilyt to see that it is done correctly ima lready loaded( for bear when i read some of this inane garbage you kids write- did you see too many tommy hillfiger ads today?) and its not a financial issue although for SOME people it is ( kurts songs that he and NOONE else composed every note and every lyric of and arranged) thie rprincipal and sole source of income- most of Kurts money goes intoa trust for Frances and the rest goes some to me and alot to his mom and two sisters Id like to see that amount to not only themom and sisters but also to chad Coabin increased and id like you to look at Kurts MOTHERS bank statements ( when i give her money wich obviously i do or buy her a house becaus eof tax laws i oay the friendly irs 51% percent of that money) and compare them to Maria Novaselic or Virginia Grohls bank statements those boys have 10- 15 million in net worth for songs they didnt write- thier moms have ranches and nice spreads and i have alot of mouths to feed with Kurts money. In the nistory of rock and roll it has NEVER occured that Elvis or Trents or Billy or My sidemen( and yes they were in a band and yes theyplaye on those records- just like the members of nin or elvis's longterm players inthe case of "nirvana: kurt was "punk" enough especially sinc eKrist had stuck with him to givehim a piece of the rock rather than some salary but he also officially and legally denied any dosrto of patrnership while living- so whoever said he didnt - he did unfortuantely it was overlooked by my attorney at the time but the doicument he wrote stating this was unaceeptable exists and will be brought to court) nothing liek this this lame hasd occured and i dealt withthis privately for a long time espeecially in the light of the whole foo fighters thing dave has a band wich sells a bit not alot but some eboiught o have him obviously wan tto continue his career im not th eone guilty of trading on nirvana- yet i have to put up witht he hairshirt sexism that i am- im a fuckingmegalamaniac- id ont enjoy the power of men-= ask my last boyfriend- a huge movie star who i had to break up with because i could not take the whole way we wer ebecoming kidman/cruise of our circle and if elt people were tryong to give me parts to curry favour with him my whole being was"fuck here we go again" and as much as i loved and still do love thatguy i want nothing to do with being a power couple i went ut withthe movie star for THREE years and NEVER ONCE walked down a red carpet or allowed myself to be photographed with him publicly the whole thing was so disatsteful to me the only time i allowed that in my marriage was when the city of la was trying to take custody of our child away from us and so we went to some mtv thing the three of us because the editor of the la times who was tryoing to help us said " give me a fmaily outing picture" i hated theidea of allowing my kid to be photographed and i hated the idea of being phoitgraphed in public with my husbdan - because i hatethat shit in general- but i did it and it actually worked=t hsoe social services people left us the fuck alone anyway youve built a myth around me aneagtive one- i have alot o negative attributes- i have in fact ashrine to the goddess kali- but the myth you kids have built over there in your kurt reverie is soi off it couldnt be mor e off- and its torture havung to deal with it call me awhore vcall nme a bitch- iw as raised to expect this and i "asked for it by being aggressive and coinfrontational as a and one of the only female rockstars i knew this woul d happen since i was FIVE years old but what i never expected becaus ei was raisede by a feminist ina feminust household was to have to enfdure that males are more important that i was or any one with oivaries is i see this occsasionalky but i saw this inthis thread im not adressing the author=- shes too stupid " kurt had a drug problem - courtney PLAYE D on that? excuse me? is this liek the insane person who posted about some imaginary van with imaginary slashed tires? this si shit- its real deep shit- and dave inparticular has used this shit-knowing a certains egment of dumber an dill informed and not aware kids would "protect"" him fromt he witch i had a severe and terribel drug problem too- one i dealt with -0 the way krist needs to deal withhis alcholism his wife- who iw as glad to have around as she was rational and kept him in check left him she couldnt take being pshyically abused ( i only heard this and wasnt there for that butthats the word in seattle) and couldnt take the drunkenness anymore i didnt want this to be a public dispute- to priotect all invived but its turning into one understand this young lady i and my family "own" kurt - thats estate law for dummies we are trying to get this music to YOU- again in TASTEFUL manner with deals that deal fair to the family and to i might add r krits and dave Universal Music allowed a sample of Teen SPirit to be used on a german dance track called "Monstersound": it went ot number 18 ont he German charts- this is contractually forbidden- andf they are trying to pay me off to get me to shut up abou tit- but they cannot be trusted with one of the jewels int he Universal catalogue and they need to give the masters back- of course this is a nobrainer- and any lawyer can see we have a real opener to make sure Universal does nbothing else ( such as sell songs to cookies and mcdonalds and pepsi all things they would do ina heartbeat if i wasnt around torpotect this) but if i force thehand of Universal well then te hands ont hepuppet strings of the FooFIghter promotional budget at Capital ( same managers and same lawyers) might punish dave mightnt they? its not a questiont hey threatened already so is he compromised? of course he is am i? NO why? number one i dont give a fuck these fucker dont scare me and im happy to go be a field nigger and leave the big house- fuck them and fuck the hundreds of thousands of artist they screw and leave with no teeth and no medical benefits that includes Kurt who should have been sent to fucking Mustiique or Maui and taken OFF the road- and they just couldnt stop coul d they? ask me( or better yet get the book next month) about the time those dicks charged into rehab four days into a detox with some coked out MTV employee we were all fond of at the time- her job? "hoindling" ( a sort of jewish word for manipulating) Nirvana- then other bands sahse was "friends " with and eventually did drugs with Bush etc until she couldno longe rpull this shit and got fired they ( those two guys) marched her into this hospital where theman was dying the ONE day i went to the gynocelisgist and left him alone and begged himt o break his rehab amnd play the MTV awards- and she said "oh if yuou dont playill be fired" and they said " you gotta do it" so he ran from rehab and of course he did dope and then they acted like he was a leper- even though he couldnt MOVE fromt he pain i once grabbed the sleazeball manager in dublina nd dragged him across thehall by his fucking HAIR into our room- there was a skinny broken dying man on the bathroom floor puking bile- he was in morepain than God should ever give anyone " is this a fake NOW you FUCK" i fought so hard ot get that guy oiff the road and they always convinced himthat he had to do it or the worlkd would fall apart hed lose his standing they wouldnt chart etc etc etc or ho aboput ROME you little conspiracy brats now thatyove got me FURIOUS ive put up withthis shit for almoist a decade and maybe i should just take this to fucking trial so the irrefutable facts of gross beglect will be PUBLIC RECORD where at 7 am when i awake to a blue faced rigor mortis DEAD person who took every rohypnol he could find with a baby in the next room and i call tot hese fucking italians downstairs screaming andf then i call the MANAGER and i call well i dont know why biutit hought maybe it would be APPROPIRATE the other crew and BAND members was rtther ONE response fronthese asswipes as this guy is DEAD- my friend lover father of child? noi they allr an screaming and i went yto the hospital alone- im surpised i even had the luxury of childcare gee thanks was there a visit to the hospital as this guy DIED and miracoulsy did NOT> from any of them? hellno you know who got on aplane? his mom and ERIC and PAT SMEAR and manymany hours later the manager where were these assholes? scared inthier rooms while thier writer singer and leader was in an oxygen tent and his cvhild was with soime italian hoitel nany can you imagine goiung throught his shit and then listening to you litle fucks whine and whine andyou know--the sick thing? Kriust and dave have known for years all the things they could say to make you kids shut the fuck up- why dont they? it owuld hurt thier power base woulnd tit? the very jocky dumb fanbs even THEY hated then( although dave the jock has reformned this as your his sole means of small time support but tits KURTS SONGS taht bought his mother her ranch in virginia) are the ones whot hey depend on to say these stupid things over and over again you know i didnt wsan tot take this to any judge becaus eits a no brainer- noone can form apartnership over onepersons property period in any state in any year on any planet but in some ways maybe its best to get these FACTS on publci record- eeveryine knows yet theres a wall of silence even sean and paul who produced live throughthis and were there for most of the writing process never say anything- they never say anyone wrote it but me but they are never MEN about it and say when doinf interviews of the momnst succesful record theyve both made a cou[ple million on- they never say" well courtney and eric wriote it we saw" its sick- that one ive nbever figure out i once started trying to write them a letter but didnt = as my waspy ex boyfriend once told me "iots beneath your dignity doint bother" but it stillpisses me off what do THEYhave to gain? K and D are just GREEDY for power over something they legally and totally have ni power over- you can opine all you want -= oit doesnt matter someone dies- someone inherits their shit that someone is me and my kid end of discussion- llc is biogus was formed in a bogus manner and this is demostrable- but why the LTT producers? is this a feminist thing? THEY know too and yet they never stick it in any interview- why?any smart or academnic feminsts reading this tell me why? is too fun to let it sit? they KNOW and think of poor erics emascualtion he wont address it because hes abuddhist and he says the truth will out and the truth is out edward nortons klate grandfathe rused to say " when the nail is taller than the rest they try to hammer that nail down the smallest" ie- my present Boyfriend Jim was backstage withthe manager- someone he had been friendly with at Harvard-i dont remember this biut this is when he said he "fell in love with me" apparently iwalked in with amassive steaming plate of "macoroni and cheese"( this was Nirvana show) only it wasnt what Zkurt had demanded when he agreed to do this fool tour- i should have done the fucking tours and out him ion an island with frances and some good painkillers and some paintbrushes and clay and i didnt- so i walk in withthis "mac and cheese" and its got fancy pasta and PIMENTO and PEPPERS in it- its NOT Kraft macoroni and dumba ssed cheese- no fuck that- fuck the giuy whose paying us 200=300thousand a night with an ulcerated stomach who throws up bile almost every night-lets just eat our upper middle class newfound riches rock food and NOT feed the fucker who makes us the cash- and apparently i said without yelling" Silva- this is fucking unaccpetable and you have a =na rtist who cannot move and who has not eaten in two days ebcaus eyou ass wipes wont gethim van de kamp fishsticks and fucking kraft mac an dcheese" Silva shrugged - he rolledhis eyes at my now boyfriend and said as i left ) to go to the STORE AN D GET SOME FUCKING FOOD FOR MY HUSBAND WHO MADE A MINT FO RHTESE ASSHOLES SO I COULD FUCKING MICROWAVE IT) "see wahti have to put up with jesus" my NOw boyfriend claims and i believe him becaus ehe smy boyfriend that he nailed SIlva and said " oh fuck you john - your th eone making money off him whyis ther pimento inhis fucking fancy pasta" silva says "its what the other MEMEBERSOF THE BAND WANT" yweah you thinkt hat over you little shit and wonder as to why we hid in our cave i hate revisiting this shit but you go tme pissed- dead man at my feet- hmmmm- call the tour manager? other members of the band? get an ambulance? for dead husband? IDONT FUCKING THINK SO last time me and lkurt saw dave he came over right after frances was born and kind of looked like the popular guy whod just been caught ina real gnarly predicament= hsi meal ticket was fucked up and his wife me- the one you know hed tried to pick up and declard he was going toFUCK three years before- was a mess- hejust backed away i can stills ee him backoing out the door - backwards cos hes a yellow livered coward and you knwo what else? this asshole husband of mine killed himself with a gun- an act if such total and complete RAGE and potency in itsown narcissitic sick and- you know ANNOYING way- and you would take that act away from him? its his act of masculinty of taking his power of RAGE- and you make him into amewling fag who couldnt even take his own LIFE? its sick let him havehis fucking dignity with his own selfishness and rage and possibly ( in my opinion) brain damage from the near forty minutes his brain had no oxygen in rome and he was never the same for the next/rext of his time- and who the hell ever said that a junkie has to not be a junkie? what would you rather have? a junkie who is functional and is alive and living or a dead person thats the puritanical tyranical message he recieved when they sprung thier fucking intervention the one where dave was MISSING anyway anyway this wil get covered in charlies book and i wont have to ever havethes estupid discussions again when i asked my boyfriend whu that made him love me he said "because i thought you were fierce and i thought you would killanyone who hurt your family" i aske dhim idf i was yelling or anything inthe mac and cheese silva incident he tells me i was actually reasonable and not even rude wichid punched the fucker why dont you ask Kurts MOTHER what she thinks? or is she as Krists mother saoid to some friend in olymoia- "she was alsut in high school and shes still aslut" thisis rich coming froma Novaselic whose son barely stuck in aband with Kurt and made him pay every step of the way why did Kurt sleep in the emergency rooma nd under a bridge? because KRIST wouldnt let him sleep at his house thats why shut the fuck up- sometimes i think he deserves nothing his idiotic richmother who lives off kurst songs callingmy mother in lae a slut she has some part time job at the bin marche and kuyrst sister kima nd me want to go inthere and PUNCH her anwyway enogh indulging your bullshit im pretty fucking strong biut this is years and years of this bullshit i became a fucking nurse and i wasnt equipped fo rit really do ithink he would still be alive if i had grabbed him and taken him to an isalnd somehwere? fuck YES and i have to live iwthhese assholes and how they ran thier "intervention" every day of my life and even more so a kid who never met her dad- so fuck fuck fuck these assholes my daughter fuckingcried today about it - out by herself in the backyard as she does a few times aweek and she si the inlky kid in her class without a dad and she canteevn remember him so FUCK YOU i can feed myself fine- i get paid- but even if i could not - it snot your business if you think im a "bitch" becaue kurt was pretty much a bastard and so we were very well suited thanks plus he was my best friend plus jocks like you drove him nuts. thats a natural fact. plus noone of these people= Krist especially considering he was with Kurt a long time- heled him towards the end OPatty and Eric and OPat Smear did that- that includes 24 hour patrol for three mohts straight keeping the ods a[=put of the paper keeping the suicide attempts and there were alot out of the paper- does the drummer in nine inch nails have that? i hardly think so this was a simple case of one aspect ( a partership agreement totally illegally foremd by a smsrt lawyer while my lawywer who happened to also be Kurts was out of her mind grieving and flipping out and freaking- she had arranged his interventiona nd had a nervous breakdown right after his death-s hes okay now but for a few years she was fucke dup she didnt thinkt o deal with this woman and maybe she was worried i mightnot opuull througjh whatever the case thier lawyer - Jill- who i LIKE an awful lot outsmarted and illegally formed an llc/partnership- it hasnt fucntioned- if i say LETS PUT OUT THE BOXXSSET- they say- no- i can still put i tout but im polite or havebeen unitl now and have felt the same stupid gen x "oi well dude- they were int he band" finally a smart lawyer looked at this thing and started laughing "what is this piece of shit its totally illegal! noone forms an llc based on one persons powenrshipo!"
hmmm how loud do ineed to shout again please cram it its not one song= its 120 tapes of songs- songs that you havent heards and that havent been bootlegged there are many many many songs is that really clear now? things you havent heard; theres 8 krist and dave "nirvana" songs 6 eric and pat smear "nirvana" songs and a vast amount of 4 track and 8 track solo acoustic "nirvana" songs covering 120 something tapes with differect types= everything from cassete to 24 track songs thats called a legacy for my family- and my daughter. BY THE WAY ONLY ONE PERSON WROTE EVERY WROTE OF EVERY ONE OF THOSE "NIRVANA" SONGS- THE SAME WAY TRENT REZNOR WRITES "NINE INCH NAILS SONGS" OR ME AND ERIC WRITE "HOLE" SONGS OR BILLY CORGAN WRITES "SMASHING PUMPKINS SONGS" ONLY MORE SO. is that c l e a r ? cl More Love madness folks Highlights: Courtney bitching and ranting and raving about 'joining her side' of the playpen in the effort to build the nirvana.com site...talking shit about the boxset being so expensive, while she'd make it cheap, going to far as to put it up for free as mp3's on nirvana.com That about sums it up...here's the drivel or the poignant rants from a depressed psychopath...you decide: do have it and my duaghter has it and upon my death his mother and sisters have it go watch the godfather those other two guiys didnt write anything hmmm- shoul dchris vrenna and robin have power over Trents music should james iha have power over Billys music or should Ylenna and his mother? should ringo have power ove rJohn lennons music? or should his wife and son? duh duh didhduh and then the botom line is this isnt a question i had it when i wen tinto court i went into court not simoply for the bogus"partnesrshi[p'; wich gives kris and dave pretty nmiuch not much of anything and remember these guys have a net worth of 10-15 million buvcksa apiece for thie "contribution" ie abandoning thie rbandmate etc i wen tthere because universal is a mess and i need to be able to proctect andsereve the leagcy and the sonsg and i dont need daves sleazeball mamanger using nirvana songs dave didnt write as levergae in foo fighter negoitiations i wan the boxxset for 20-30 bucks thois guys want it for 80-100 bucks yikes the golden retrievewr just farted and it really smell
ill just give it for free to anyone i like and kurt would have liked and the rest if you can pay 500 dolalrs fro it or you could get some really cool sweet 75 and foofighter outtakes pick a side and dont be stupid kurt was my best friend not yours and not his lame bandmates other than pat smear who he loved so be real careful about truning his suicide wich was his defiance his rage and his STUPIDITY too into an emaculated fag joke let him have his fucking dignity ir a tleast RAGE wichis what suicide is ( a shrink tells me gun to head is grief and gun in mouth is RAGE) you take that rage from him everytime you emasculate his choise to do this asshole thing wichis undoubtaedly and obviously an asshole thing i didn tmarry a corpoiration and i didnt marry an invalid i married A really really funny son of a bitch who was the most ambitious person ive ever known one ot htehtongs im doing now is a starting nirvana .com the real one where you guys can hgear allt he fucked woirred cassete stuuff( for FREE and idea that thoise other giuys were way unhappy with) andnot an artist direct site ( wichis wher ethe foos are and theyd get bonuses and links if id be afucking tard and do it there so foo man could have more chits) but one built by fans run by fans were also - now that this shit is over doiing a book on random house of all his gross out boy comics and all his funny insane rantings and all his sweet juniour hugh skool; fake band drawings and writingf and stories and love letters to tracy and tobey( ill keep mine tomyself thanks) and the insanley fnny 20 verses written lyrics to every song including teen spirit "were loiunge singers from las vegas hgere we are now entertain us" and his hysterical letters to record companies begging for his big shot wichis the stuff that makes melike him and some of our nastyletter fights where wed have who wrote better lyric fights and they are vficious and funny fcuk you i rule ni fuck you i am the king ni fuck you i am the queen im doing this now becaus eits fun to see people see him as he was and would have wanted to be seen himself not hti sdistorted passive saint person wioth no balls and no sexuality the way you people talk its like he had a three inch dick no story there-0 theman was HUNG - so dont take away the fact thathe actually had a cock knew how to use it and was the worlds sickest kisser you forget he was the best FUCK that ever walked- slam you against the wall and beat your ass fuck- amazing noone is as goods in bed as thatguy was you know the way he played guitar- yeah like times fifty he wasnt some fey mamas boy- hewas a man- not a child and not an emasculated being anyway ill pu tit out now that these assholes are off my chest and the fofifghters are not a concern of kutr ( GOD he would have hated that so fucking much and dave knows it titally-his shame is waht makes him write these inane songs almost all thier subtext firget the courtneys a bitch ones are i m bette rthan kurt i am i am iam the dave stuff has him spinning not the fact that i got my saggy boobs unsaggied0- he would have thought it was cool- as far as your jesus guy hating hollywood? hello? theyoffered hima part in "the new age" and he was jumping up and down he met cusack and wanted ot do a movie with him hemetgus van and wanted to do a movie with HIM he loved theidea of being a movie star- period somneone posted in another thread one of themnore sick evil nd vile things this evening "whyshould wendy have mor emoney than krist or dave smom" FUCK YOU IDIOT BECAUSE HER SON WROTE EVERY CHORD AND ARRANGED EVERY WSONG AND WRIOTER EVERY LYRIC thats like asking why the drummer in hendrixes bands mom shouldnt have the smae a s hendirx go to high school take a civics class- wacth the godfather and be HELPFUL here we want to start a cool nirvana.com and ahve it be great and have stuff thatnoone else has so dont piss me off with this bullshit get tohgether with yourselfs have apowwow and stopinsulting hima nd me and our kid( some other asshole posted i was uh,,,teaching my daughter to be a SLUT?) id say that fine young person ill getyou rip addresand make sure you have to pay 600 dollars for a boxxset do not insult my family- think twice-leave me alone gve theman his dignity respect thati run the show and help us helpo you get the kurt songs you want ever hear"the son" its magical ever hear"opinions" itd funny and sad ever hear" ivy league" its sick ever hear me and kurt havinbg a cuss out contest while singing where did you sleep last night an dlaughing our asses off? itsd funny ever hear the pat smear eric kurt songs? theyre genius wanna hear em? then help us build oiur site get together and banish the bad people kurt would have hated who call me a whore and his daughter a slut and take away his final act of rage- suicide is not sonething we shoudl do but un its own totallyu selfish way thatstuck me with all this bullshit it was his act as a man- letsuse it to help other kids not do it lets make a forum where kids cxan talka bout drug use and depression in a real way without being judged or harassed or talked down to lets prive what the internet dotocme greedheads didnt get that fanbs can build and run a site way better than corporate fuckers lets think about whatthe artwork should be-im open to anything cooland want this to be outby christmas lets thinkabout how tohandle thatthis guy ius dead- hekilled humself and how di we apporach that as a agroup without it beinbg gross? whawould be tastefula nd kurt approved funny ways to do it>? UNIFY WITH US T OMAKE THIS WORK OR LISTEN TO SHIT THAT SWEET 75 MAKES OKAY? do you kids ahve a ckubhouse? hold ameeting- because there will b free files and stuff noone else has and good fore=ums for discussing suidical thougts and real answers about heroin speeddd coke crack etc not some bullshit loveline fake dr drew answers but real answers and answers as to how you can be a great fuck and also a feminist too go convene0 monitor yourself do you arent insultingmeor my kid or kurtsmonmand lets put an effort in to hoe the corproiate assholes that fans can do this themselves you can email brooke with artwork and suggestions andlets get the oficial site iwthfofoicical treats up and running and i dont LIKE playing widow and i dint want to do it iwant YOU to do it anbdleave us arty snarky smarty funny bitchy girls here at hole alone so we can go beakc to discussing hypoatianad shakespeare and the quest if the feninine befre your rudely intrupted us are you someone KC would have wanted as a fan? if yoiu arentinsultung his family your halfway there kc was not some bullying mysinginsit jock he liked me best int he worlkd and i him and as ive said fir everuy bitch inch i am he was eevry inch bastard so we were erresllay well suited stop turning him into something he would have depised you for unify and come back to us without his errant attitude or well run it and we wont let you in degrading me or francxes or wendy or kin did i reallysee a "nirvana" fan oin here tonight calling kin cobain a "dyke" honey you need otbe athe rtist direct limp bixket site- were picky we like nirvana fans whoa re up to standard an dno you cant be in our club if your a sexist conspiracy theroy n=homophobe lameass so UNIFY if your fans and figure out becaue im th enly ine who can build the nirvana .com and i want your help. so help- every piece if shit bullshit nasty remark is only tearing apart whohe was give him the "dignity" r at least gravity his final act deserves stop talking baouthis dyke sister and his slut mother and his whore wife and his slut ( 8 year)od daughter whatis this ohenomonen? you can register with brooke and shell check you out but unify make some rules you dot break your going tohave sine faith in me as i pu ton the loathsome wiidow hat in the pursuit of prtectingthe bext friend and best fuck ive ever had theres alot to do want toput and callme names and fuck thingsup aor as fans want to put some faith in me and brooke to helpus make site thats really yours exanibe your sexism carefully- kurt was the best friend other than edward and jim an dmilos forman ive ever had- he realkky was cooland funnya nd wicked-celebratethat and respect thathe was my best friend and stop the madness of your anger and craziness- your going tohurt himand take away whathe loved sure tjheres always fgoign tobe soem crackpot "shes a whore ahse a bitch" nightmare perosn its your resposibilty ESPECIALLY IF your ihn nirvanaclub t o helo us make thissite magical and secaila nd helpfula nd cool its up to you- goo d luck and chinese food cl
then just help brooke buil d sgreast site we can have it up in the month just unify and stop tryijg t do you r kirst and dave thing- thr jufdgement passed its over- ther would be mo nrivana.com builot by yiu guys if i lket thier sleazebag guys pu tit ojartist direct to sell you shit'] ksit and dave and cahd and ajson were all oin nirvana treat then nicelyliek bandmatres should be treated i am not he shouter here inthat scene btw- kirsat id th shouter and imnot quitig himn now but the marxism/anti commercialism? iknow what kurt would haqve liked shit is over the fans can - the real fans- can build this site with NO interference from me the sit isnot about me we at hole are the amrt cunty girls and boys and some ar enirvana fans and some arent we like to talk about feminism, poetry, tea, film, good rock etc OH theres another greatthing inthe kurt box i just remmebered( theres six boxes of whiw wiritng) its his topo100records of all timeits sso funny krist and dave wer egttoing ready tot rade nivana.com to a sleazy oplace not run by fans brooke has this all figured out and now do it i reallyappreciate the support stop whining baiout krist in= will always try to givehimn his say- he know sthat- hes justtoounpredicatble and destructive ' he sint aLLOWED to destroy kurts tapes and he isnt allowed to turn a blind eye while GAS tried to renogotiate foo figjhters using nirvana as keverage dont worry about that worry about Kurt whow as ":nirvana: kust sole stuff iahe+ nirvana kurt weithpat and eric and patty+ nirvana kurt with eric and pat+ nirvana kurt byhimself doing all these acoustic songs_ doing nirvana i appreciate whatyou guys are trying too do and you dont have to :kiss my ass" or whateverr passed for being cordial and unifeid toget something you and i both ewant done just don t stick up for them- they are rich theywillhave u=input esp krist they just wilkl not run the show and hurt it it should be run by FANS like thisisteis and i APPRECIATE very very muchthatyour making ther efofrt tonot hurt me or my family just dont discuss the k and d situationa dn trust me not to hurt krist either''i could have many tines but i keot hin =m invoilved-so just chille he just has toichnage the strcuture and benmonitored so nothing precious of frances's daddy gets destroyed thats all email brooke shes got a total plan we can have thius up and running within the next twoweeks and it can be a democarcy run by YOU GUYS ANOT ME it snit my site- but i will protect it oaky? so fo t he cool ones thanjs for the truce saty where youa re and have sone faith thatthis guy was my best friend ill ever had and iuwll do whatever it takes toprotect him and the music he left behind. i swear tot hat cl
hey idiot youd have HAD your boxxset and a new"new" nirvana album three years ago if they hadnt treried tgo trade up over atthemanagement for daves foo fighter renegoitiaiton ' and so you understand there is no question about ewho owns what legally and totally me an dmy family own everything if anything this was more of a fight with uniuversal than anything but also a fight to predvent a repeat of the wishkah live record wich was an idiotic disaster the law- the law honey has been decided and id lov eit if you got your boxxset and any other stuff froma dead person as soon as humanly possible as has been my position for a long time why dont you investiagte instead of talking out your ass i read your post and its obvious you want me to read soemthingwhrn youve doneno homework ' thissi about alot of things mostly its about universal and the fact that there are forces at universal who would thrrow this out liek a piece of slop if they dont respect even no doubt, beck. th ewallflowers, sting u2 over there why would the president givce nirvana any fucking marketing and attention? hes like a mad caeser over there and hes on al;l this ritalin and whatever shit hes on im looking for sonmeolace else in the universal system other than interscope to put it out but john gary and grohl ( who has zero publishing repeat that liek amantra= no more than the drummer of nine inch nails who was also a good drummer) want to trade up on th eboxxset sweetening thie rown deals and imperiling its existance would you like to poay 100 bucks fo rit or 20>? becaus eid liek it if you fucking paid 20 bucks god hairshirt with fleas headless stump chit fuck lice lice lice carrion of worms and licve and death death yawn your fuck handheld oxygen shelf is there a god? can i polish his knob? hey antionette! eat your cake and burn yoru bitches at your steak. MAY I USE YOUR OWN WORDS KRIST "THATS A NIRVANA SONG- KURT WROTE IT" ALLNIRVANA SONGS ARE SONGS KURT WROTE HIS FAMILY OWNS AND HAS ALWAYS OWNED THE SONGS HE WROTE WICH IS ALL OIF THEM "THATS A NIRVANA SONG" SAYS YOUR GUY "BECAUSE WHY" "BECAUSE KURT WROTE IT"" CLEAR BONEHEAD
THIS IS A COLLECTION OF POSTS FROM COURTNEY ON HOLE.COM THE WEBMASTER JUST THREATENED TO DELETE THE WHOLE THREAD BEFORE THIS LEAKS TO ANY IMPORTANT MEDIA OUTLETS, SO I'M MAILING IT TO YOU ALL. IF YOU BOTHER TO READ ANY OR ALL OF THIS, IT WILL BE DISTURBING. SHE BASICALLY SPILLS THE BEANS ON A WHOLE SHITLOAD OF THINGS, REFERRING TO A BOOK BEING WRITTEN BY SOMEONE IN THE NEAR FUTURE THAT'S GOING TO SAY ALL THIS ANYWAY...SOME OF THE HIGHLIGHTS ARE: She claims people at a funeral home danced with Kurts dead body while listening to Pearl Jam while people sat around and drank beer...and that these same people carved the word 'fag' into a dead mans chest.... She gives details about the events leading up to Cobains suicide, including Kurt trying to contact her at the Hotel she was staying in, but the hotel managers refused to connect the call to her room... Plenty of other shit...you decide how much to read, and how much of that to believe...and this is long as fuck!
The Problem with Krist
Dear Krist I was concerned as to why this story took on such a "sexy" life this weekend- I know how to handle stories very well - And the no comment mutual agreement we decided on Thurday was decided- as a matter of fact i was very assuring to Jill she should waste zero time on it- i know how to make these things go away by leaving them be. it never fails- so as the story grew i knew there must be a leak- and th eleak has priven to be you- going back on your word in the very forst instance of your new resoltuion to " try to see what can work" I could have spun this and told the truth and very much embarassed you this weekend but i did not- it would have hurt the catalogue of Kurts songs to take this to the public. I also know that NO ONE WENT PHYSICALLY intot he Seattle Courthouse-at any time- including the first break of the story. I also as of tonight now know that you have been speaking "off the record" with reporters at the P.I. I also know that until at the latest this morning maybe even late this afternoon your site "murky slough" held not only your "declaration" but also other disparaging things about me and my family- was linked to the PI s site. perhaps a MONTH ago int he face of the judges decision would have been a wise time to take this down from your website? In your own( now public ) words- "this case is about who was in the band"- as i think you realise that may be true if you were trying this case in the local cafeteria of Spin Magazine 1996- but it is a true and total absurdity in a court of law- as anyone with Civics Class knowledge will tell you. this case is about sidemen who were "in the van" but own nothing but artists masters telling someones wife and heir what to do- when they tell her at all In discovery- the years of disrespect- libel- slander- bearing false witness- sleaze- not copying me or putting the input of the family into anything will come forth- your mothers and daves mothers bank accounts versus wendy O connors and John SIlvas will come forth. it will be ugly. when you made the quote " i wonder what Kurt would think" you can wonder all you want= but the law decrees that you have no right to act upon that. You formed a false "llc" when i was stoned and grieving- for years ive tried to work it out privately and you wouldnt allow that. Then when i prove that not only am i willing to take this all the way and strip you of any more power you may have to hurt Kurt ( having hurt him for so many years in his lifetime and having treated him like shit- and turned your head on his medical condtions and simply boorishly yelled judgements and declarations insteadof helping me to get him fed, seen by doctors, stop touring, you forced the entire situation on me- his wife- a situation i dealt with to the best of my ability because i am his wife and love/d him very much and these things were my duty) and even AFTER this slanderous business"shes a bitch so - you know like- bitches can't be wives your honour" as usual bullshit defense- wich NO judge of ANY stripe is going to hear as legal argument i am gracious enough ONLY because i like Jill berliner NOT because i value your input wich can only be TOTALLY destructive as youve proven time and time again with your ranting against exactly the ghosts wich dont exist while permitting complete ignorance about the music business itself- to allow us to graciously discuss a way where you will still maintain some dignity- have input and in no way be publicly embarassed. i do this also out of concern for you. marriage like blood is a sacred institution in this country and the slander and libel (jersey films lie, Moulin rouge lie, how you are discreet with press lie, silva doing a good job lie- every sentence LIE) you just put me through and then LEFT UP ON YOUR WEBSITE has forced me with no other option but to take this to trial in December. because you can not be trusted on even a simple thing like this You cannot keep your word and Jill cannot control you to not hurt the catalogue. I will inform Yale and Jill in the morning. This behaviour is pathological, and i know as do we all what causes it, years ago i had to go into a 12 step program it was VERY hard to do, and it was the best thing for me- my ability to stay off of narcotics has brought me many blessings and i would hope that for you you will seek help for your alchohol issues wich are only going to in the end destroy your life. Sincerely Courtney Love Cobain
they fired the first guy but they never firef the rest of them i forget the name bliese funeral home? is that it? blaights fineral home? anyway they didnt fire anyone else theyall probably stillwork thier will smart- houston texas-a ttorney at law- call anjdsay "im from time magaxine and i just ofund out about he cobainincident and werew about to bust your chain wide open and ihave one question for you will why did you torture his mother? why ddint you do the right thing>? you saw the evidence the tapes- why did you not pay damages tothis women and have the dignity to not ell her what they were for? how oculd you sit in a room going "ooh shes abitch waut tul i gether ont he stand" the salem witchtrail defense and not havethe ethice to take care of the boys mother? ask will this wait tell him" im doing an expose on the other ase in tacoma( this was the same chain they did sor tof the same thing with a female congresswoman they danced with her and posed her in pornoi shoits he rname i THINkwas dixie) about your whole chain- noone will turst you when im done with you- why was your boner to gety courtney love in stand sao you could talkjabout ehat a bitch she is supersede the damnages you should have quietly paid mrs oconnor without casuing her an image that will haunt her for the rest of her life" calalhim someone lie and scare the shit out of will smart "i am going to th presifdent of your conpany and im taking this vanity fair fromn six years ago out about your practise of cremating the wring people and overcharging for extra fees and all the corruption and its going to make you fired and suck all becasuse yopur witchtrial boner superseded any ethics you may have had- you are abillion dollar a year compnay will- why didntyoujust give this greiveing mothera stipend- she didnt need to knwo why- whmaybe willsmarts biner for this will come back to haunt him charge the long distance to me i an tfor the life of me remmeber thebaem of the chaain butthey are the biggest funeral home chchin in the us - billins a year they ve nbought every mom and pop funeral home and theyve been in big toubkle before but he "fag" was thatnecessary? the lawyer inthe case was seattle lawyer named brian collucio. call will smart thats what you can do for me- make him scared. he KNEW it was no sweat to pay damages bit his sexist evil courtney bitch boner overrode it so hes going to hell i hope anyaya we should delete this tonoght it snot he story i want anyone to hear i was just sad and sick and sad and ims till sad and sick and sad .......he was so shy. she said
i wish i had a xanax i dont have oe and now in oreally fuckeing twisted and sad''']]okay here we are illlt ellyoumore some little shit worked at the seattle coroners office he "volunteered" to accompany the body to the funeral home' when he go there he fressed the body had his friends come and videotaped him andhis freinds dab=ncing weith the body the danced with him then one of them cut him- they cut parts of him and they kept them them he somehow go t ahol dof the suicide note and made tshirts of them then i founf out in areallyhorrible way- somneone had taped this tape of themn dancing withhis body after they shaved his head theres( i cantw atchit) girls sittin drinking beer while thyeplay pearl jam music an ddnacew withhis boddy broken and bloody thye shaved his head okay you wantmore this funeral home is oart of a chain( because edward went thought htis eithme when his moim died he founf out the funeral hime was inthe sam echain and hin andhis briher went there and stayed until she was put int heivern and creamted) the chain is a billion dollar a year business based in houston i decided to quietly and without telling wendy and kim- sue them for ALOT as it seemd every emplyee att hehome dabnced with him and cur him someone cut out his HEART- iwas going to take than money front hese fuckers and just out it in wendys account i knw if i publicied this it would disgrace this poor kid even more one of the guys carved words into him. the word i heard they carved was "fag" okayis this great or what? so apack of lawyers come from housron and in setatle theres noi emotional damages just punitive ones and the lawyer says " i will tak eyou oin the stand for discovery" a nd i bluff and say ": iwill call newseeek there was a vanuty fair artice=le abouyt your insane chainandhow ciorrupt it is" he says "yeahbut i wil get you onthe stand an dmake you tell every dirty bad thing yiyuve ever done" i canthave this onthe cover of time obviiously i say looke gove the mom and sisters a million bicks and make this go away he demands tomeet them they dontknow and i tell them soften the story sa little kurts mom walks intot he deposition room she doesn thear the whole story and still does not know it all- but she just finds out about the dancing withhim it was the queitest i =ever sae her be and the saddestthing ive ever heard another say she starts to weep and she says..... after a long long pause "MY BABY WAS SO SHY" AND the whole roomstarts to cry- and then the houstonlawyer ( hisname is willmsart illnever foregtthat name) says lady ill giveyou 250 thousand dollars right now and wendy stoof up very slowlu and grabbed my hand and said "i dont wan tyour filthy money- not know and not ever" and she leaves the room thats the tip of sad waht would you have me do.? oh babe i=theres more thats sad- thatsup htere buitheres worse stuff too ill delete this in abit and please respect this and dont copy it im really ralaly emotional rightnow becaieue noone knows this outside if the family and charlie and ofcourse krist who blamed me somehow-becaue you now im a bitch willsmart houstonlawyer prank his ass tell him i sent you tell him im a loose fucking cannonand ive gone crazy with repressed misery whatever look him up willmsmart attorney they knew id bnever denigrate his k=mmenory bytaking this to the media while your at it call dr steve scappa in= la and ask him how his : hes not suicidial he justneeds t be seoeratedf rom courtney and frances thing works" hes listed too go on you wan tvengeancde for kurt> get it
CHAD is kurts half brother his fathe ris don this shit DOES matter because io stuffed it in for years and just dealt and now this ass wipe makes this declaration that the judge threw in his face and I made the first move the next day after the judge said its hers not yours goodbye and said what would you liek to do and obviously things will change but i will keep you inthis with me no dave no john no gary just me and you and your lawyer and you can get inpu tfrom dave whatever i just dont want to hear about ti and lets get this ready for christmas but the changes have to be made to wich he said okay did i ask for a public apology? no did i ask for the past to be revisited? no and thursaday someone at the seattle paper found out what had gone down and i said to his lawyer no sweat just no comment on it itll die its tot ocnfusing and they wont figure out what its really about anditll just cruise somewhere into "courtneys martin luther king music war" and noone will know and she was so relieved- and called her client Krist who had the entire time left thsi shit up on his website after making a huge deal about the no comment thing he will always fuck stuff up- he hated kurt- he treated him like shit- i cannot have him around it will never work no dicsions will get made unless of course your a bigger fan of wishkah than youa r eo fany other materail that was krists project i decided to let him do it hi slawyer defended the terrible choices made on there selfish and things Krist ;liked not KLurt- and of course "nirvana" was a band theyve got a VAST amount of money to show fro rit and always will wichis more than hendirxes ( hendrixes guys were also a band and at the time people knew thier names too) as "something he needed to work out" well its indefensible defiling the catalogiue oif KURTS songs- could you repeate that liek amantra please-= KURT WROTE HIS OWN SONGS KRIST AND DAVE WROTE NOTHING HE MADE A WILL HE ALSO DIED WITHOUT IT BEING MORE THAN A DRAFT BBUT IT TOO EXISTS AS A DOCUMENT= A WILL ACTUALLY SIGNED BY US BOTH THAT LEFT WHAT WAS NEEDED TO BE LEFT TO ME HIS MOM AND HIS DAUGHTER AND HIS SISTERS AND HIS HALF BRITHER CHAD\ AS WELL AS PEOPLE LIKE ALEX MACLEOD ( the person mentioning kelly knows that alex was the only fucking persont hat ever other than eric helped me with hospitals and ambulances and the whole other shit noone noone else did and then alex was forbidden to do anything leaving the whole fucking meltdown in my and eric and pat smears lapos) and a few other people in the will people who i have given things to BUT IT DOESNT MATTER BECAUSE I DO THINGS ACCORDING TO HIS WILL AND I CANT WAIT UNTIL WE GO TOT TRIAL AND I GET TO POP THIS DOCUMENT WICH STATES CKEARKY THAT THOSE TWO GUYS AND ANY MEMBER OF MY FAMILY ( think we know who that was i put that in myself) CANT HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH HIS MUSICAL FUTURE supppose i had died first? i almost did once- wonder what that would have been like lots of times i think it would havebeen cooler if i had died instead death cant possibly be that bad- it must be sort of okay or everyoine wouldnt do it so much i bet hed have checked his shit real fast- gotten clean- married someone even nastier and bitchier than me- hehe- who? its sort of a fun game i like to play alot of girls pretend they went out with him- i know drew had this thing about it the birthdaysthe same the basic sweet secret grumpy nature the same- would he have had a winona phase? would he have made friends with cameron crowe? would he have had a movie star girl phase? woul dhe have had a ? who would kurt have dated had he lived? and i died or we broke up? and if iwas watching fromthe dead_ wich i sometiomes think he does ( not into the gavin thing i could feel it) one thing for absouloute natural fact truth hed have dumped those two shits as he already HAD publicly if hehadlived in aminute you know whenever these people say "they wer egtting a divorce" its so sick where do they get this? i once asked our lawyer in themiddle of a fight to get me divorce papers really loud so he could hear me and also maybe stop waving a fucking gun around one thing i know- on that universe of hell we lived in someone was going to die every time i go to seattle i walk by that pizzaplace the last place anyone every saw him except the "dealer" ( charlie cross went and founf the "dealer" she changed her name and works at an olive garden in Portland- she clains she was not the dealer- but im almost positive it was a female- charlie thinks it was arandom dealer of the hill by dukes- he knows actually but hes making me wait until i read the book) i reaslise no way were we ever getting pout of this alive- neither of us wanna know while wer e all sharing how i ended up with tom grant? it was asunday like near easter or something i called the manager - he had split the rehab- i called becaus ei fucking KNEW- the nurse said hed gone for a chest xray fuckin chest xray? i also knew steve scappa the shrink ( whose a total loser and still gets the rockstar junkies but doesnt boither telling them this major FUCK UP of his the ego - this shit head was liek a peacock- HE would control Kurt noone else qws allowed to call him and you know they have this fundamental bullshit thing inthese rock n roll junkie couple things i would like to warn all of you who ever get in a codependent relationship about "we have to split them up" BIG fucking mistake so heres this nurse shes telling mechest xray? chest xray? i fucking knew Gibbhy haynes was in there- i knew all the dealers except downtown of course=- iw ent o Nilers house _ he was ajabberjaw guya nd our neighbour when and this is a rich one when nevermind was number one- like eminem scary famou snumber one we lived in ashitty apartment near Canters it was mall and sick i had just gotten a huge amount of cash froma deal i had made andthats all we had a couple hundred grand in my formerly ninexistent city national checking accoun t so we live don that go tour dope money our food money anyway- we read in the wall street journal that Nirvana had "made Geffen records over 100 million dollars so far" i found it and Kurt said- fuck this and took a cab to Silvas office i told him to gfet Silva to find us a sublet in MALIBU ( a sort of other part of the song- if you were following my swordfish ex bf part i knew Malibu was safe and the dealers would come around less) i stayed home we tooka lot of pictures of each other back then and i for some reasont ook his pictuire when he walked back in the door he was carrying a globe of the earth hed made the cab guy wait for him toi buy and he looks really sad/pissed what happened at the Gold Mountain office? he tells me" i am going to kill Silva" why "Silva is sitting inthere with Kim fucking Gordon and i ealk in and i say look i live in a shithole your about to get a million bucks fo rme in a week- Courtneys got her publishing whatever money we want to live somewhere near the beach and in malibu and we need a sublet" and?<<>>>>>> "silva sor to flooks away and Kim says to me really mean" what- is John your realtor now?>" my jaw wasdropping ont he floor This is a basic service one performs for any client - especially the client that has just mad eyou RICJH when last week you hads House of Freaks - Sonic youth who arent excatly pulling it in despite thier cred and fucking Red Kross whoa s fatr a s i knew had adequete housing so heres Kim this jealous upper middle class bitch if Kurt is to be believed wich unless drugs were the topic with me wasnt a liar at all ( except charlie tells me he made out with a girl at a dealers house when we were married -like i give a shit- id just love to know if he fucked her except when he got that stoned like anbyone who could get it up?_ and i wonder if it wss that lame taco bell chick who posted on here-maybe its true- i honestly dont think making out with someone at the dealers house- priobably the deal;er to get your doipe- counts) telling Kurt that John WASNT A REALTOR! johns a fucking millionare we have stalkers dealers and live in a slium at the HEIGHTH of nevermind did you kick his fuckin ASS i ask Kurt mr pisces man people pleaser hold it inside says noi iwalked out of there then he shows me his hand wich is swollen from punching the wall so i call Silva- "your not a realtor? you fuck your not a what? youy get us the fuck out of here an dyou do it NOW": "mumble mumble" "fuck YOU john" three weeks later john big daddy fuckhead comes through with what? a fucking bungalow in a slum in fucking venice where theres even more dealers- its a slum- we now do have millions and maybe an extra million- and we can afford anything but im calling like "roomate finder" because i dont know how to callrealtors and i dont even know if my formerly shitty and kurts totally nonexistant credit is fixed yet and they are baffled we should have had a nice house in malibu by the beach but you know- Kim says johns "not a realtor" so want more? soo niler was called ratty by most people that was hi snickname and charlie tells me NILER picks him up from Exodus- wich maybe explains some more Erlandson heroics i knew that Eric found an dbeat the fuck out of Niler a gfew years ago but i only find out four months ago because ZCharlie tells me THAT NILER PICKS him up after he climbs the wall and takes him to his house as soon as thhis nurse says chest x ray im like a fucking lightning bolt calling the haed of the hospital in my DSOUL i know ive just missed him but hes GOT to be in la perry farrell? Niler? wheres he going to go? i jumo in a cab and go to Nilers house- i dont know where Perrr lives anymore ( rock trivia btw when Perry lived on St Andrews of the jane says song he was the groovy dope dealer of course on the rare occasions i had the cash for dope i wasnt cool enought to actually go into the house where "jane" lived and perry dealt so id wait int he car while IFiunch copped for us- i also wasnt cool enough to get dope from Fabrice who was the Chili Pepper dealer who "killed" Hillel Sloak- who died because he was an idiot and did dope alone wich- if you watch Jesus's son illustartes exactly why people who do dope alone die and people who dont live) callin geric in seattle and screaming at him to check the airline schedule- the assholes at Exodius wont "confrim" wether Kurst gone= you know interestingly i dont know of one person who went to Exodus and stayed clean isnt that funny? gota have a rehab that doesnt work in la i guess. thye are being dicks but i know "chest x ray" means they cant FIND him Charlie ( cross the guy who wroite the book coming out) thinks Kurt was THERE at Nilers House- now i know why eric stalked him- Eric Niler and his creepy girlfirend are no longer withus here in la but i did recently here his name wherein a certain very brilliant and very fucked up actress that most people who like Hole like alot whose sweet and lovelyu and a fucking MESS asks me int he bathroom at the golden globes if iwant to "go to Nilers house with her before we go to the parties" whoa. ididnt knwo your allowed to be a junkie asn da movie star - they told me you werent- i felt really bad for her mostly oi looked at her tracks and thought how the fuck is Niler still even dealing dope? and why the hell does she think i still do it? lkike id ever stick a needle in me after all this shit. anyway yeah me and charlene tilton- you get it here first i beleiev that Kurt was in the backroom at Nilers- he copped and got on aplane to Seattle you know who was on that plane? Duff Mckagen the guns and roses bassist they get drunk together on the plane and Duff offers him a ride ( another Charlie fact i had no clue) he declines and takesa cab instead I am fucked i KNOW this is FUCKED and the sink is going to fall into the floorboards eric goes to the hosue and grabs the guns and bullets i call SILVA- WHAT DO I SAY KIDS? FIND KRIST AN DGET HIM OVER TO THE HOUSE AND GET ME A PRIVATE DETECTIVE silva- now a rich rich man says " this isnt my job call the lawyer" I call the lawyer= she son vacation i call the hotel fucking concirge HYTSERICAL we dont have priuvate detectives iopne th eyellow pages and JSUT START DIALING and i will always remember this shit the first guy was from 'EAGLE' DETECTIVE AND it houyght he wqas rewally scary- dark little guy the next guy is our man Tom- whatever he looks okay i dont care i nned him to do one thing go to setatle and find this fucking guy NOW he tells me he comes to the hotel im at alot for some hooker business( i cant figur ethat now is that like- blackmailing people with hookers- he teells me some hooker stories i cant remember) hes with some kid of his too if i recall correctly it ell him exactl what to do every dealer- keep one guy at the house and let kurt be= do nbot tryi to get himn to go to rehab let hiKnow i dont care and dont try to stop dealers from being at the house or hell just go to thier house go the carnation house and cheack every room the basement garage the whole thing this idiot goes up there and i have to call the cops because he doesnt- hes too stupid- i tried hiring a secind guy right away as soon as i sent him he was trying toleave the next day and i said no you fucking leave now anyway my door knock sint hemorningits fucking ERIC why the fuck is the ONE person who can prevent this in LA? " i heard youw ere dead and Kurt was here" get back get back on the plane- shit we both looked at each other and i just knew eric went to go get back on the plane then i call Niler to get some drugs for fucks sake and call my mother in law to come take care of my kid and Niler comes or someone of his people and givges me some shitty little bit of drugs wich i do but uits crap and then my arm explodes into a rash of shit want me to keep going? yeah oklay i will so i call downstairs because my arms bloiwng up meanwhile im on a phone with stupid ass fat ss yellow pages Private Investiagtor who is nbot doing what im tellinghim to do anmd the coneirge brings me some benedryl ewich i tak ean my arm stops exploding andf i start to pack and cancel Kurts fucking atm so he cant withdraw anymore money thatw ay he has to call me call the fuckingmamanger again tell him Kurts going to die he now says " well theresnothing we can do at this point" ask him has he called Krist to got he house "krist doesn tfeel this is his resposibilty anymore" knock knock its the fucking COPS west hollywood sherrifs department i shit you not this guy ius named DETECTIVE BUTKES pronounced BUTTKISS i get a traffic ticket from this fucker years later he pulls me and Norton over in w hollywood= walks up to the car and sees me and without one word he turnsd on his heels and runs to his car fucking pussy and his squad concierge boy has ntoiced my state and lets not discuss that i have a hoil dion my phone for everyone bit my hudsband - and a month later i see the ohione bill and on april 3 at 7 something am theres a call from our private line to th ehotel and THEY DIDNT PUT IT THROUGH thats the sweet pennisula hotel where i will not enter ever under any circiumstance- Butkes goe s through my shit and he finds one of Steve Scappas prescription pads that the FOOL left in my room -a fucking dr leaves his PAD in my room! then they go through my safe and steal my pearls and a ring and theres my lawyers idiot ashram ashes the very best day of my life to have idiot ashram ashes from her fool guru that manifests neckalaces and turns them into ashes - thsi si her and her husbands yearly fucking india pilgramige its fucking ashed is ay- yeah right they cuff my ass and haul me into the jailhouse- and im sitting there in the beverly hills police station and i gget this FLASH in my head and i see a FLASH i cannot explaint his an dnoone here really knows me so im just digiutally venting things i dont even talk baout except ti jim and toi edward and to eric but i SEE it an di FEEL it and i know- i know i know i know i know all of th esudden th elawyer appears- a criminal lawyer my l;awyer who has magically appeared -you knwo th eone on vacationthat couldnt find me a real private investigator and she takes ME to exodus now because ilm like group hoime girl noone wants me and i leave frances with her and wai tfo rher grandmother to come and i sleep and i wake up and the television is on to the hospital nature cancer people station theres a wren and a sparrow in a golden field its jsutiimages you watch while you die and i go to touch the remote but i dont - soemthing stops me- i just dont change the channel- im in th ehospital not th erehab part- i guess i just need to be in a hospital i dont know and rosemary walks in my room and she looks dead and i scream. and scream. and scream and i think its an overdose - because eric took the guns out and i dont find out its noit anb iverdose until way after all the rest of you know whatthe fucker did and thats almost the end oh yeah except steve scappa the idiot wont give me a valium- hes still you know"incontrol" because hes odne suych a GREAT job of controlling this insane situation and i get a lear jet and grab my fucking kid and walk intot hat fucking greenhouse and fuck you are tjhose assholes even relevent to this story anymore? shall i tell you what the people at the funeral home did to his little body? shall i? yeah well i fucking wont - shall itell you what the peopl,e at the coroner did to his hair hi stoenails his clothes? his pubic hair? shall i? you havent seen SHIT how about that. --------------------------------------------------- sad? no man those are justthe happy parts the sad parts are worse. thos are just the clips and hurry and actiona nd facts the sad parts are worse and gross and dirty and make me wonder if there is a reason to even exist sometimes because god is an atrocious piece of shit to let some of the things ivge seen happen and maybe there isnt a fucking god whatseover. sick bad things sick sick EVIl things evil in ways that are too evil to even poist eevn when im braindead fucked okay you want it? ill fucking tell yoiu mode even then i have to pull back from telling anyone the SAD parts why the fuck dont i have aneedle in my arm right this second i dont know but some nbight si wish i still knew thos epoeple and if it wasnt for the person sleeping upstairs id be dead- but other than edward or drew who would i leave her with jesus fuck- and oh yeah by the way i agree it should have beenme instead- no shit. how many times a day do you think i wish i was dead? and then i try at LEAST to make myself useful like career suicide might be useful anyway to someone somewhere fuck it
------------------------------------------------- Courtney goddamm president Registered: Jun 2000 Location: but im rich Posts: 406 IP: Logged 07-02-01 05:55 AM profile | | email | url | search | buddy | edit | quote --------------------------------------------------------------------------------- hairshirt with fleas again- yikes no those guys DONT have the tapes Eric went through the house and i have th etapes= although one tape turned up stolen from my home during kurts funeral thats one of the tunes in question NOW lets get this staright- from the supreme court to judge judy - there sint a discussion- someone dies their shit goes to thier family- it doesmt go to anyone else kc didnt have apartnership withthose guys and he didnt want one thats number one number two- the mor eoutragous and lame part if jill emory, caroline rue, melissa aufder mar, jason everman, chad channing or any ex member of any band tried to have precendence over my husband or child in the event of my death in any decision to do with the songs i wroote ( in kcs case he wrote 96% of the Nirvana songs youve already heard and 100% oif the ones inmy- MY- safe deposit box) i would have love dot no tonly put out a boxed set ( wich is a bout 80- 100 bucks and too much in my opinion but a) but also an album of these songs-like 12 tracks period it needs to be done correctly and as the heir to this stuff its my responsibilyt to see that it is done correctly ima lready loaded( for bear when i read some of this inane garbage you kids write- did you see too many tommy hillfiger ads today?) and its not a financial issue although for SOME people it is ( kurts songs that he and NOONE else composed every note and every lyric of and arranged) thie rprincipal and sole source of income- most of Kurts money goes intoa trust for Frances and the rest goes some to me and alot to his mom and two sisters Id like to see that amount to not only themom and sisters but also to chad Coabin increased and id like you to look at Kurts MOTHERS bank statements ( when i give her money wich obviously i do or buy her a house becaus eof tax laws i oay the friendly irs 51% percent of that money) and compare them to Maria Novaselic or Virginia Grohls bank statements those boys have 10- 15 million in net worth for songs they didnt write- thier moms have ranches and nice spreads and i have alot of mouths to feed with Kurts money. In the nistory of rock and roll it has NEVER occured that Elvis or Trents or Billy or My sidemen( and yes they were in a band and yes theyplaye on those records- just like the members of nin or elvis's longterm players inthe case of "nirvana: kurt was "punk" enough especially sinc eKrist had stuck with him to givehim a piece of the rock rather than some salary but he also officially and legally denied any dosrto of patrnership while living- so whoever said he didnt - he did unfortuantely it was overlooked by my attorney at the time but the doicument he wrote stating this was unaceeptable exists and will be brought to court) nothing liek this this lame hasd occured and i dealt withthis privately for a long time espeecially in the light of the whole foo fighters thing dave has a band wich sells a bit not alot but some eboiught o have him obviously wan tto continue his career im not th eone guilty of trading on nirvana- yet i have to put up witht he hairshirt sexism that i am- im a fuckingmegalamaniac- id ont enjoy the power of men-= ask my last boyfriend- a huge movie star who i had to break up with because i could not take the whole way we wer ebecoming kidman/cruise of our circle and if elt people were tryong to give me parts to curry favour with him my whole being was"fuck here we go again" and as much as i loved and still do love thatguy i want nothing to do with being a power couple i went ut withthe movie star for THREE years and NEVER ONCE walked down a red carpet or allowed myself to be photographed with him publicly the whole thing was so disatsteful to me the only time i allowed that in my marriage was when the city of la was trying to take custody of our child away from us and so we went to some mtv thing the three of us because the editor of the la times who was tryoing to help us said " give me a fmaily outing picture" i hated theidea of allowing my kid to be photographed and i hated the idea of being phoitgraphed in public with my husbdan - because i hatethat shit in general- but i did it and it actually worked=t hsoe social services people left us the fuck alone anyway youve built a myth around me aneagtive one- i have alot o negative attributes- i have in fact ashrine to the goddess kali- but the myth you kids have built over there in your kurt reverie is soi off it couldnt be mor e off- and its torture havung to deal with it call me awhore vcall nme a bitch- iw as raised to expect this and i "asked for it by being aggressive and coinfrontational as a and one of the only female rockstars i knew this woul d happen since i was FIVE years old but what i never expected becaus ei was raisede by a feminist ina feminust household was to have to enfdure that males are more important that i was or any one with oivaries is i see this occsasionalky but i saw this inthis thread im not adressing the author=- shes too stupid " kurt had a drug problem - courtney PLAYE D on that? excuse me? is this liek the insane person who posted about some imaginary van with imaginary slashed tires? this si shit- its real deep shit- and dave inparticular has used this shit-knowing a certains egment of dumber an dill informed and not aware kids would "protect"" him fromt he witch i had a severe and terribel drug problem too- one i dealt with -0 the way krist needs to deal withhis alcholism his wife- who iw as glad to have around as she was rational and kept him in check left him she couldnt take being pshyically abused ( i only heard this and wasnt there for that butthats the word in seattle) and couldnt take the drunkenness anymore i didnt want this to be a public dispute- to priotect all invived but its turning into one understand this young lady i and my family "own" kurt - thats estate law for dummies we are trying to get this music to YOU- again in TASTEFUL manner with deals that deal fair to the family and to i might add r krits and dave Universal Music allowed a sample of Teen SPirit to be used on a german dance track called "Monstersound": it went ot number 18 ont he German charts- this is contractually forbidden- andf they are trying to pay me off to get me to shut up abou tit- but they cannot be trusted with one of the jewels int he Universal catalogue and they need to give the masters back- of course this is a nobrainer- and any lawyer can see we have a real opener to make sure Universal does nbothing else ( such as sell songs to cookies and mcdonalds and pepsi all things they would do ina heartbeat if i wasnt around torpotect this) but if i force thehand of Universal well then te hands ont hepuppet strings of the FooFIghter promotional budget at Capital ( same managers and same lawyers) might punish dave mightnt they? its not a questiont hey threatened already so is he compromised? of course he is am i? NO why? number one i dont give a fuck these fucker dont scare me and im happy to go be a field nigger and leave the big house- fuck them and fuck the hundreds of thousands of artist they screw and leave with no teeth and no medical benefits that includes Kurt who should have been sent to fucking Mustiique or Maui and taken OFF the road- and they just couldnt stop coul d they? ask me( or better yet get the book next month) about the time those dicks charged into rehab four days into a detox with some coked out MTV employee we were all fond of at the time- her job? "hoindling" ( a sort of jewish word for manipulating) Nirvana- then other bands sahse was "friends " with and eventually did drugs with Bush etc until she couldno longe rpull this shit and got fired they ( those two guys) marched her into this hospital where theman was dying the ONE day i went to the gynocelisgist and left him alone and begged himt o break his rehab amnd play the MTV awards- and she said "oh if yuou dont playill be fired" and they said " you gotta do it" so he ran from rehab and of course he did dope and then they acted like he was a leper- even though he couldnt MOVE fromt he pain i once grabbed the sleazeball manager in dublina nd dragged him across thehall by his fucking HAIR into our room- there was a skinny broken dying man on the bathroom floor puking bile- he was in morepain than God should ever give anyone " is this a fake NOW you FUCK" i fought so hard ot get that guy oiff the road and they always convinced himthat he had to do it or the worlkd would fall apart hed lose his standing they wouldnt chart etc etc etc or ho aboput ROME you little conspiracy brats now thatyove got me FURIOUS ive put up withthis shit for almoist a decade and maybe i should just take this to fucking trial so the irrefutable facts of gross beglect will be PUBLIC RECORD where at 7 am when i awake to a blue faced rigor mortis DEAD person who took every rohypnol he could find with a baby in the next room and i call tot hese fucking italians downstairs screaming andf then i call the MANAGER and i call well i dont know why biutit hought maybe it would be APPROPIRATE the other crew and BAND members was rtther ONE response fronthese asswipes as this guy is DEAD- my friend lover father of child? noi they allr an screaming and i went yto the hospital alone- im surpised i even had the luxury of childcare gee thanks was there a visit to the hospital as this guy DIED and miracoulsy did NOT> from any of them? hellno you know who got on aplane? his mom and ERIC and PAT SMEAR and manymany hours later the manager where were these assholes? scared inthier rooms while thier writer singer and leader was in an oxygen tent and his cvhild was with soime italian hoitel nany can you imagine goiung throught his shit and then listening to you litle fucks whine and whine andyou know--the sick thing? Kriust and dave have known for years all the things they could say to make you kids shut the fuck up- why dont they? it owuld hurt thier power base woulnd tit? the very jocky dumb fanbs even THEY hated then( although dave the jock has reformned this as your his sole means of small time support but tits KURTS SONGS taht bought his mother her ranch in virginia) are the ones whot hey depend on to say these stupid things over and over again you know i didnt wsan tot take this to any judge becaus eits a no brainer- noone can form apartnership over onepersons property period in any state in any year on any planet but in some ways maybe its best to get these FACTS on publci record- eeveryine knows yet theres a wall of silence even sean and paul who produced live throughthis and were there for most of the writing process never say anything- they never say anyone wrote it but me but they are never MEN about it and say when doinf interviews of the momnst succesful record theyve both made a cou[ple million on- they never say" well courtney and eric wriote it we saw" its sick- that one ive nbever figure out i once started trying to write them a letter but didnt = as my waspy ex boyfriend once told me "iots beneath your dignity doint bother" but it stillpisses me off what do THEYhave to gain? K and D are just GREEDY for power over something they legally and totally have ni power over- you can opine all you want -= oit doesnt matter someone dies- someone inherits their shit that someone is me and my kid end of discussion- llc is biogus was formed in a bogus manner and this is demostrable- but why the LTT producers? is this a feminist thing? THEY know too and yet they never stick it in any interview- why?any smart or academnic feminsts reading this tell me why? is too fun to let it sit? they KNOW and think of poor erics emascualtion he wont address it because hes abuddhist and he says the truth will out and the truth is out edward nortons klate grandfathe rused to say " when the nail is taller than the rest they try to hammer that nail down the smallest" ie- my present Boyfriend Jim was backstage withthe manager- someone he had been friendly with at Harvard-i dont remember this biut this is when he said he "fell in love with me" apparently iwalked in with amassive steaming plate of "macoroni and cheese"( this was Nirvana show) only it wasnt what Zkurt had demanded when he agreed to do this fool tour- i should have done the fucking tours and out him ion an island with frances and some good painkillers and some paintbrushes and clay and i didnt- so i walk in withthis "mac and cheese" and its got fancy pasta and PIMENTO and PEPPERS in it- its NOT Kraft macoroni and dumba ssed cheese- no fuck that- fuck the giuy whose paying us 200=300thousand a night with an ulcerated stomach who throws up bile almost every night-lets just eat our upper middle class newfound riches rock food and NOT feed the fucker who makes us the cash- and apparently i said without yelling" Silva- this is fucking unaccpetable and you have a =na rtist who cannot move and who has not eaten in two days ebcaus eyou ass wipes wont gethim van de kamp fishsticks and fucking kraft mac an dcheese" Silva shrugged - he rolledhis eyes at my now boyfriend and said as i left ) to go to the STORE AN D GET SOME FUCKING FOOD FOR MY HUSBAND WHO MADE A MINT FO RHTESE ASSHOLES SO I COULD FUCKING MICROWAVE IT) "see wahti have to put up with jesus" my NOw boyfriend claims and i believe him becaus ehe smy boyfriend that he nailed SIlva and said " oh fuck you john - your th eone making money off him whyis ther pimento inhis fucking fancy pasta" silva says "its what the other MEMEBERSOF THE BAND WANT" yweah you thinkt hat over you little shit and wonder as to why we hid in our cave i hate revisiting this shit but you go tme pissed- dead man at my feet- hmmmm- call the tour manager? other members of the band? get an ambulance? for dead husband? IDONT FUCKING THINK SO last time me and lkurt saw dave he came over right after frances was born and kind of looked like the popular guy whod just been caught ina real gnarly predicament= hsi meal ticket was fucked up and his wife me- the one you know hed tried to pick up and declard he was going toFUCK three years before- was a mess- hejust backed away i can stills ee him backoing out the door - backwards cos hes a yellow livered coward and you knwo what else? this asshole husband of mine killed himself with a gun- an act if such total and complete RAGE and potency in itsown narcissitic sick and- you know ANNOYING way- and you would take that act away from him? its his act of masculinty of taking his power of RAGE- and you make him into amewling fag who couldnt even take his own LIFE? its sick let him havehis fucking dignity with his own selfishness and rage and possibly ( in my opinion) brain damage from the near forty minutes his brain had no oxygen in rome and he was never the same for the next/rext of his time- and who the hell ever said that a junkie has to not be a junkie? what would you rather have? a junkie who is functional and is alive and living or a dead person thats the puritanical tyranical message he recieved when they sprung thier fucking intervention the one where dave was MISSING anyway anyway this wil get covered in charlies book and i wont have to ever havethes estupid discussions again when i asked my boyfriend whu that made him love me he said "because i thought you were fierce and i thought you would killanyone who hurt your family" i aske dhim idf i was yelling or anything inthe mac and cheese silva incident he tells me i was actually reasonable and not even rude wichid punched the fucker why dont you ask Kurts MOTHER what she thinks? or is she as Krists mother saoid to some friend in olymoia- "she was alsut in high school and shes still aslut" thisis rich coming froma Novaselic whose son barely stuck in aband with Kurt and made him pay every step of the way why did Kurt sleep in the emergency rooma nd under a bridge? because KRIST wouldnt let him sleep at his house thats why shut the fuck up- sometimes i think he deserves nothing his idiotic richmother who lives off kurst songs callingmy mother in lae a slut she has some part time job at the bin marche and kuyrst sister kima nd me want to go inthere and PUNCH her anwyway enogh indulging your bullshit im pretty fucking strong biut this is years and years of this bullshit i became a fucking nurse and i wasnt equipped fo rit really do ithink he would still be alive if i had grabbed him and taken him to an isalnd somehwere? fuck YES and i have to live iwthhese assholes and how they ran thier "intervention" every day of my life and even more so a kid who never met her dad- so fuck fuck fuck these assholes my daughter fuckingcried today about it - out by herself in the backyard as she does a few times aweek and she si the inlky kid in her class without a dad and she canteevn remember him so FUCK YOU i can feed myself fine- i get paid- but even if i could not - it snot your business if you think im a "bitch" becaue kurt was pretty much a bastard and so we were very well suited thanks plus he was my best friend plus jocks like you drove him nuts. thats a natural fact. plus noone of these people= Krist especially considering he was with Kurt a long time- heled him towards the end OPatty and Eric and OPat Smear did that- that includes 24 hour patrol for three mohts straight keeping the ods a[=put of the paper keeping the suicide attempts and there were alot out of the paper- does the drummer in nine inch nails have that? i hardly think so this was a simple case of one aspect ( a partership agreement totally illegally foremd by a smsrt lawyer while my lawywer who happened to also be Kurts was out of her mind grieving and flipping out and freaking- she had arranged his interventiona nd had a nervous breakdown right after his death-s hes okay now but for a few years she was fucke dup she didnt thinkt o deal with this woman and maybe she was worried i mightnot opuull througjh whatever the case thier lawyer - Jill- who i LIKE an awful lot outsmarted and illegally formed an llc/partnership- it hasnt fucntioned- if i say LETS PUT OUT THE BOXXSSET- they say- no- i can still put i tout but im polite or havebeen unitl now and have felt the same stupid gen x "oi well dude- they were int he band" finally a smart lawyer looked at this thing and started laughing "what is this piece of shit its totally illegal! noone forms an llc based on one persons powenrshipo!"
hmmm how loud do ineed to shout again please cram it its not one song= its 120 tapes of songs- songs that you havent heards and that havent been bootlegged there are many many many songs is that really clear now? things you havent heard; theres 8 krist and dave "nirvana" songs 6 eric and pat smear "nirvana" songs and a vast amount of 4 track and 8 track solo acoustic "nirvana" songs covering 120 something tapes with differect types= everything from cassete to 24 track songs thats called a legacy for my family- and my daughter. BY THE WAY ONLY ONE PERSON WROTE EVERY WROTE OF EVERY ONE OF THOSE "NIRVANA" SONGS- THE SAME WAY TRENT REZNOR WRITES "NINE INCH NAILS SONGS" OR ME AND ERIC WRITE "HOLE" SONGS OR BILLY CORGAN WRITES "SMASHING PUMPKINS SONGS" ONLY MORE SO. is that c l e a r ? cl More Love madness folks Highlights: Courtney bitching and ranting and raving about 'joining her side' of the playpen in the effort to build the nirvana.com site...talking shit about the boxset being so expensive, while she'd make it cheap, going to far as to put it up for free as mp3's on nirvana.com That about sums it up...here's the drivel or the poignant rants from a depressed psychopath...you decide: do have it and my duaghter has it and upon my death his mother and sisters have it go watch the godfather those other two guiys didnt write anything hmmm- shoul dchris vrenna and robin have power over Trents music should james iha have power over Billys music or should Ylenna and his mother? should ringo have power ove rJohn lennons music? or should his wife and son? duh duh didhduh and then the botom line is this isnt a question i had it when i wen tinto court i went into court not simoply for the bogus"partnesrshi[p'; wich gives kris and dave pretty nmiuch not much of anything and remember these guys have a net worth of 10-15 million buvcksa apiece for thie "contribution" ie abandoning thie rbandmate etc i wen tthere because universal is a mess and i need to be able to proctect andsereve the leagcy and the sonsg and i dont need daves sleazeball mamanger using nirvana songs dave didnt write as levergae in foo fighter negoitiations i wan the boxxset for 20-30 bucks thois guys want it for 80-100 bucks yikes the golden retrievewr just farted and it really smell
ill just give it for free to anyone i like and kurt would have liked and the rest if you can pay 500 dolalrs fro it or you could get some really cool sweet 75 and foofighter outtakes pick a side and dont be stupid kurt was my best friend not yours and not his lame bandmates other than pat smear who he loved so be real careful about truning his suicide wich was his defiance his rage and his STUPIDITY too into an emaculated fag joke let him have his fucking dignity ir a tleast RAGE wichis what suicide is ( a shrink tells me gun to head is grief and gun in mouth is RAGE) you take that rage from him everytime you emasculate his choise to do this asshole thing wichis undoubtaedly and obviously an asshole thing i didn tmarry a corpoiration and i didnt marry an invalid i married A really really funny son of a bitch who was the most ambitious person ive ever known one ot htehtongs im doing now is a starting nirvana .com the real one where you guys can hgear allt he fucked woirred cassete stuuff( for FREE and idea that thoise other giuys were way unhappy with) andnot an artist direct site ( wichis wher ethe foos are and theyd get bonuses and links if id be afucking tard and do it there so foo man could have more chits) but one built by fans run by fans were also - now that this shit is over doiing a book on random house of all his gross out boy comics and all his funny insane rantings and all his sweet juniour hugh skool; fake band drawings and writingf and stories and love letters to tracy and tobey( ill keep mine tomyself thanks) and the insanley fnny 20 verses written lyrics to every song including teen spirit "were loiunge singers from las vegas hgere we are now entertain us" and his hysterical letters to record companies begging for his big shot wichis the stuff that makes melike him and some of our nastyletter fights where wed have who wrote better lyric fights and they are vficious and funny fcuk you i rule ni fuck you i am the king ni fuck you i am the queen im doing this now becaus eits fun to see people see him as he was and would have wanted to be seen himself not hti sdistorted passive saint person wioth no balls and no sexuality the way you people talk its like he had a three inch dick no story there-0 theman was HUNG - so dont take away the fact thathe actually had a cock knew how to use it and was the worlds sickest kisser you forget he was the best FUCK that ever walked- slam you against the wall and beat your ass fuck- amazing noone is as goods in bed as thatguy was you know the way he played guitar- yeah like times fifty he wasnt some fey mamas boy- hewas a man- not a child and not an emasculated being anyway ill pu tit out now that these assholes are off my chest and the fofifghters are not a concern of kutr ( GOD he would have hated that so fucking much and dave knows it titally-his shame is waht makes him write these inane songs almost all thier subtext firget the courtneys a bitch ones are i m bette rthan kurt i am i am iam the dave stuff has him spinning not the fact that i got my saggy boobs unsaggied0- he would have thought it was cool- as far as your jesus guy hating hollywood? hello? theyoffered hima part in "the new age" and he was jumping up and down he met cusack and wanted ot do a movie with him hemetgus van and wanted to do a movie with HIM he loved theidea of being a movie star- period somneone posted in another thread one of themnore sick evil nd vile things this evening "whyshould wendy have mor emoney than krist or dave smom" FUCK YOU IDIOT BECAUSE HER SON WROTE EVERY CHORD AND ARRANGED EVERY WSONG AND WRIOTER EVERY LYRIC thats like asking why the drummer in hendrixes bands mom shouldnt have the smae a s hendirx go to high school take a civics class- wacth the godfather and be HELPFUL here we want to start a cool nirvana.com and ahve it be great and have stuff thatnoone else has so dont piss me off with this bullshit get tohgether with yourselfs have apowwow and stopinsulting hima nd me and our kid( some other asshole posted i was uh,,,teaching my daughter to be a SLUT?) id say that fine young person ill getyou rip addresand make sure you have to pay 600 dollars for a boxxset do not insult my family- think twice-leave me alone gve theman his dignity respect thati run the show and help us helpo you get the kurt songs you want ever hear"the son" its magical ever hear"opinions" itd funny and sad ever hear" ivy league" its sick ever hear me and kurt havinbg a cuss out contest while singing where did you sleep last night an dlaughing our asses off? itsd funny ever hear the pat smear eric kurt songs? theyre genius wanna hear em? then help us build oiur site get together and banish the bad people kurt would have hated who call me a whore and his daughter a slut and take away his final act of rage- suicide is not sonething we shoudl do but un its own totallyu selfish way thatstuck me with all this bullshit it was his act as a man- letsuse it to help other kids not do it lets make a forum where kids cxan talka bout drug use and depression in a real way without being judged or harassed or talked down to lets prive what the internet dotocme greedheads didnt get that fanbs can build and run a site way better than corporate fuckers lets think about whatthe artwork should be-im open to anything cooland want this to be outby christmas lets thinkabout how tohandle thatthis guy ius dead- hekilled humself and how di we apporach that as a agroup without it beinbg gross? whawould be tastefula nd kurt approved funny ways to do it>? UNIFY WITH US T OMAKE THIS WORK OR LISTEN TO SHIT THAT SWEET 75 MAKES OKAY? do you kids ahve a ckubhouse? hold ameeting- because there will b free files and stuff noone else has and good fore=ums for discussing suidical thougts and real answers about heroin speeddd coke crack etc not some bullshit loveline fake dr drew answers but real answers and answers as to how you can be a great fuck and also a feminist too go convene0 monitor yourself do you arent insultingmeor my kid or kurtsmonmand lets put an effort in to hoe the corproiate assholes that fans can do this themselves you can email brooke with artwork and suggestions andlets get the oficial site iwthfofoicical treats up and running and i dont LIKE playing widow and i dint want to do it iwant YOU to do it anbdleave us arty snarky smarty funny bitchy girls here at hole alone so we can go beakc to discussing hypoatianad shakespeare and the quest if the feninine befre your rudely intrupted us are you someone KC would have wanted as a fan? if yoiu arentinsultung his family your halfway there kc was not some bullying mysinginsit jock he liked me best int he worlkd and i him and as ive said fir everuy bitch inch i am he was eevry inch bastard so we were erresllay well suited stop turning him into something he would have depised you for unify and come back to us without his errant attitude or well run it and we wont let you in degrading me or francxes or wendy or kin did i reallysee a "nirvana" fan oin here tonight calling kin cobain a "dyke" honey you need otbe athe rtist direct limp bixket site- were picky we like nirvana fans whoa re up to standard an dno you cant be in our club if your a sexist conspiracy theroy n=homophobe lameass so UNIFY if your fans and figure out becaue im th enly ine who can build the nirvana .com and i want your help. so help- every piece if shit bullshit nasty remark is only tearing apart whohe was give him the "dignity" r at least gravity his final act deserves stop talking baouthis dyke sister and his slut mother and his whore wife and his slut ( 8 year)od daughter whatis this ohenomonen? you can register with brooke and shell check you out but unify make some rules you dot break your going tohave sine faith in me as i pu ton the loathsome wiidow hat in the pursuit of prtectingthe bext friend and best fuck ive ever had theres alot to do want toput and callme names and fuck thingsup aor as fans want to put some faith in me and brooke to helpus make site thats really yours exanibe your sexism carefully- kurt was the best friend other than edward and jim an dmilos forman ive ever had- he realkky was cooland funnya nd wicked-celebratethat and respect thathe was my best friend and stop the madness of your anger and craziness- your going tohurt himand take away whathe loved sure tjheres always fgoign tobe soem crackpot "shes a whore ahse a bitch" nightmare perosn its your resposibilty ESPECIALLY IF your ihn nirvanaclub t o helo us make thissite magical and secaila nd helpfula nd cool its up to you- goo d luck and chinese food cl
then just help brooke buil d sgreast site we can have it up in the month just unify and stop tryijg t do you r kirst and dave thing- thr jufdgement passed its over- ther would be mo nrivana.com builot by yiu guys if i lket thier sleazebag guys pu tit ojartist direct to sell you shit'] ksit and dave and cahd and ajson were all oin nirvana treat then nicelyliek bandmatres should be treated i am not he shouter here inthat scene btw- kirsat id th shouter and imnot quitig himn now but the marxism/anti commercialism? iknow what kurt would haqve liked shit is over the fans can - the real fans- can build this site with NO interference from me the sit isnot about me we at hole are the amrt cunty girls and boys and some ar enirvana fans and some arent we like to talk about feminism, poetry, tea, film, good rock etc OH theres another greatthing inthe kurt box i just remmebered( theres six boxes of whiw wiritng) its his topo100records of all timeits sso funny krist and dave wer egttoing ready tot rade nivana.com to a sleazy oplace not run by fans brooke has this all figured out and now do it i reallyappreciate the support stop whining baiout krist in= will always try to givehimn his say- he know sthat- hes justtoounpredicatble and destructive ' he sint aLLOWED to destroy kurts tapes and he isnt allowed to turn a blind eye while GAS tried to renogotiate foo figjhters using nirvana as keverage dont worry about that worry about Kurt whow as ":nirvana: kust sole stuff iahe+ nirvana kurt weithpat and eric and patty+ nirvana kurt with eric and pat+ nirvana kurt byhimself doing all these acoustic songs_ doing nirvana i appreciate whatyou guys are trying too do and you dont have to :kiss my ass" or whateverr passed for being cordial and unifeid toget something you and i both ewant done just don t stick up for them- they are rich theywillhave u=input esp krist they just wilkl not run the show and hurt it it should be run by FANS like thisisteis and i APPRECIATE very very muchthatyour making ther efofrt tonot hurt me or my family just dont discuss the k and d situationa dn trust me not to hurt krist either''i could have many tines but i keot hin =m invoilved-so just chille he just has toichnage the strcuture and benmonitored so nothing precious of frances's daddy gets destroyed thats all email brooke shes got a total plan we can have thius up and running within the next twoweeks and it can be a democarcy run by YOU GUYS ANOT ME it snit my site- but i will protect it oaky? so fo t he cool ones thanjs for the truce saty where youa re and have sone faith thatthis guy was my best friend ill ever had and iuwll do whatever it takes toprotect him and the music he left behind. i swear tot hat cl
hey idiot youd have HAD your boxxset and a new"new" nirvana album three years ago if they hadnt treried tgo trade up over atthemanagement for daves foo fighter renegoitiaiton ' and so you understand there is no question about ewho owns what legally and totally me an dmy family own everything if anything this was more of a fight with uniuversal than anything but also a fight to predvent a repeat of the wishkah live record wich was an idiotic disaster the law- the law honey has been decided and id lov eit if you got your boxxset and any other stuff froma dead person as soon as humanly possible as has been my position for a long time why dont you investiagte instead of talking out your ass i read your post and its obvious you want me to read soemthingwhrn youve doneno homework ' thissi about alot of things mostly its about universal and the fact that there are forces at universal who would thrrow this out liek a piece of slop if they dont respect even no doubt, beck. th ewallflowers, sting u2 over there why would the president givce nirvana any fucking marketing and attention? hes like a mad caeser over there and hes on al;l this ritalin and whatever shit hes on im looking for sonmeolace else in the universal system other than interscope to put it out but john gary and grohl ( who has zero publishing repeat that liek amantra= no more than the drummer of nine inch nails who was also a good drummer) want to trade up on th eboxxset sweetening thie rown deals and imperiling its existance would you like to poay 100 bucks fo rit or 20>? becaus eid liek it if you fucking paid 20 bucks god hairshirt with fleas headless stump chit fuck lice lice lice carrion of worms and licve and death death yawn your fuck handheld oxygen shelf is there a god? can i polish his knob? hey antionette! eat your cake and burn yoru bitches at your steak. MAY I USE YOUR OWN WORDS KRIST "THATS A NIRVANA SONG- KURT WROTE IT" ALLNIRVANA SONGS ARE SONGS KURT WROTE HIS FAMILY OWNS AND HAS ALWAYS OWNED THE SONGS HE WROTE WICH IS ALL OIF THEM "THATS A NIRVANA SONG" SAYS YOUR GUY "BECAUSE WHY" "BECAUSE KURT WROTE IT"" CLEAR BONEHEAD
Sunday, September 2nd, 2007
oooh im frail
Current mood: determined
i di N interview woith whAT SEMNED LIKE A VERY NICE lady at usa today about Posting- w chatted an awful long time and i feel very very stressed when i cant remnember all that ive said
i try so hard to be a good gitl- i know i named dropped an awful lot -it just sort of happens peip;le who inspire m ate mty frins whatnot come up never ina na insulting way e cptteh bizarr accindeal “quote” in a tab…. talkd about princess Ai bing in th paper [ im in this space ralking to rhis v ictims of crime psychiatrist whjre ive begun resharing the tale with people without even knowing im doing it an late ae night now i start to think really bad thoughts, wellll shit you wannted an honest post im giving you one, in the old days in 94 after my husband had died about 2 months later i started posting on my site abnd i had this whol elittel galaxy to those of you too youn g there was a time no t only without an intertrnet buyt there was this thing called aol- it was the forst tim mostr of us punters lsitemnd an you could get your mil here and i usd to c all him Steve Lower case to remove stuff ididnt like
he was cool h would come to loolapalooza and came to a hole show once, it was if you wre fampus just a bulleutin board about yours;f i love these social networks cos abybody can be “famous ” within them for thier g raphics — CRAUGS LIST MOMET I NED TWO DESIGNERS- ANYONE FROPM THE STANFORD DESIGN SCHOOL IS WAY WELCOME-= NBUT AT MAJOR L;ABEL;S WE GET GRAPHIC DESGNERS AND IM FDOIBGTHINGD A LITTLE DIFFERENT- ID LIKE A GRAPHIC DEOGNER TO GO TO ABOUT FONTS AND ICONS AN SYMBOLS AND ETC AND IF LIKE A SESIGN SHCOOL PERSON TO STARTTHINKINGABVOUT EVERYTHING FROM HOWE TO CHALLENGE A CD JEWEL BOX MERCH FROM ROCJ SHOWS YER AVRAGE TSHIRT COTTON PANTIRES THING BOULEVARDIER WILL OPEN AN ACCT NAMED CLMYSPACE2@GMAIL.COM TOMORROW OF HE HASNT ALREADY XSEND ANY INFO THERE OKAY?:
an for music sorry hste to interup[y one thing 2 things actually id oput on craigs list well 4 things0= anyone from Otis? anyone wanna be a seamtress on an amazing new line with amazing one of a kind crazy italian an d french and london and somne china bought fabrics and notions -
input also welcomep- know your leavers lace from mouuseline- and know how to order a bag be made in a chines factory= w wont be making things in china = i can tell miles away -= by the way other then the Dekkers lingerie wich is the most exciting original lingerie i ve evr ever seen donrt go expecting agent p= marlene dekkers is her name i think? shes dutch = stacy dashes great line is called Letters of marque- its all silk cotton victoriana, www.lettersofmarque.com. its afforDable an dthe oppoite of ekkers lang in his prime- uber femme- its basically my entire former stage wear = leavrs lace is the lace we see on victorian whites- its made of cotton and stacy told me there are about 100 looms in the world left- sh based here ntire c ollection on a victoriasn co,mbing jacket i hav several
i didnbt know ie was called a combing jacket- and im a little aarrogant hubristic even about my fabric an d trims and i believe i need to spend a wek watchinga lacroix and a gaultier couture show= with lacroix i once even bought a lacroix jacket in the s outh of france- i never got the clothes but ten years of couture collectionz mags im starting to understand how important they are- why theres so much of these horriifc wasted fabric so beuatiful anfd so ouutragously expebnsive shaped ina terrible cosevarvative vrsace on iotd worse day meets prom dress for mom - god what iw ouldnt give for dome of thse notions and buttond sna laces and silkns and new metallic textiles and organioc v oiles and orgsnoc tulle-= im amking that up ther isnt any yet- the dress im wearing on th pic ture opposite is th first Never trhe bride ress Clares Pattern for the m ost part= but i had asked for sleves and shirring-= its very epnsive victorian lace and we took it off but arounf the empire band ( my huge ribs) is a belt with studs we didnt second guess the studs craze of giles and robertpo ( givenchy) in gold or this prossums fall studs- i mean what afantasy= going to london next sunay an gett he punk stufdded platforms ehe punk studded purse and the 10000s of punk studs on the trench. o think a brad be it or a prson thin g object has to hav a few rules- you nees to kno wthe statitics of the innovaters an dthe early adopters of youve got a new idea say for indatanc i put aside the past wich is gutting me like a searing hot knife making m glad i dont have firearms in th house,. womndering if maybe i should take some sort of anti depressent - but it goes away as soon as i put the books away thw crazy cooked ones- theresw so muc h i have to do- becaus eothrwise ther will be wil goose cghases an my credibility must be impeccable- names i dont know of for 4 years this girl i could not =stand got a paycheck from me- then theres pretend peop;e and cash delivris your not dupposed to notice, from courier services i never hard of with stements like”BACK DDOOR BELL ONLY” in october 02 theres on day qhebn im at oct 02 ( im nopt in the country by the way) theres not onlya 4 milliuon ollar loan in the moriniung but theres cash dekivery, none in 000s, in ehings like 6589, all under 10k, i dunno all in on delivery isntther that tak,ingf out ov rten k in cash topo much law? jus whne i got to about 995k in cash delivere to my house in one day im so sad and i turn thr page and it goes ovr a million 1.198,643.88 cents oct2, 03. i have to do this, AND youllundrtsand why in a few mnonths but it removs me from the present and makes m crashingly depressed, and all tyhat i have on my fvuture an don my present a few things
i could make 10x this amount if i could letthis go - seriously- truly let it go= karma doesnt stop atthe shores of maui and la county line- or antelope valley ( nopt much unincoprtated in calif- but that one is) the fbi has a list of the top ten states where mnotgrga fraud occurs the most- and it resonats teh way ateh 7 princ ipals of a good brand resonate- in terms of wire transfers ive seen and mortggeags and loans whos social securty numnberd were all those people? deceased? probably- id call in my loft aND maybe ONE out of 20 calls was helpful t
and oh poor me yeah i liost it all- im no t lookinfg for pity - i drank the kool aid- but if ate in omn ot an the gove an anuthorities turn on YOU instead of going after this heinous thing wich has so says the forensics psychiatruist driven you mad- or even a police depratment to write upa report that all ones tvs are gone, becaus one is sucha n object of d3rision at that point
far more was stolen out of my kis trust han has been put back and i called them an dthey refiused to help-= well well get to them= well see whT THEY O WITH them, and each of these b mgrs sign a contrract that ihey willl under no cricumstanxcs sign fpr anything pmlu i will sign ONLY I SIGN fo rthings always s broken mor anfr more aggressively ONE DUDE IN O3 within a fw days was braking the contract, but worse he saw what washappening an he just walkd away claimning iwas toomnuch of a mess to deal with- the shrink says ” anyone would be a mess- you must stop blaming yourself
” and triu to get me to say the word victim again and again, in my religion ( Nichirin Buddhism) we are our envrionments and everything that happens to us is our responsiobility, its our karma , an w musrt own it= okay i amn the victim of a series of heinous vicious an technically psychotic crimes- bizarre and frocious ive never seen human evil like this- well ive sedn it in someone seyes and moral bhaviour but uh….that was ovrly covered this week, in Nuy case i was felling bl;ue i nee only get them two files from two agmncies and one ocument and icant do tht myseld and finishthese lesged anx timem yself so i dont start feling sucideal thoughts wich aooremnytly is vry common too after these crimes - i mean put 1650 crimes ina basket and call it crime. anywqay so yeah i need a mentor someone who has designedd and wantsto look at my sketches- help me figure out wether to go liuxury and both - i love juicy as a model and i lovethos e girls esp pam- and i love hedi but he probably doesnthavethe time-
i need som ehelp with lyrics - any lyrics will b sentto tyler first an if us3 them you will get a publishing fee- if youfeel more comfy copytighting beofre snding them to cl myspac 2 gmail thats cool too go from im not lookinto the eyes of a alading man
someone who can really tak command
- the topics arroganc pomposity th dream of beinga lading man willnever evr happen and no it has nothingto o with this week anyone following me knows leading man applis to may a dude= arroganc pomnposity people who enjoy preying on othrs inferiority- inspire me stiuck to some rhymes- an i have to think of a brilliant small c horus it was karma fades it never goes away- butthats weak- anywone who i use inthis willhav free tix to any show i play for lfe as wllas publishing, ihavr a pattern cuttr and a program firector i n3 somone who really knows iimnpirt export- posssibly has been pt premiere visionare fabric show before is up on textiles the new japense mill tyextiles and mostly someon whose an eprt n hosiery on how w chang the patterns on the looms cost? theres loons i think at jantzeen i saw an oprah where 42 people had touch one pair of spanx befor eproduced and if you know about txtile mills how they c an do “couture: bodysuits tighs” an things out of lingeore lace- this i need to knbow= an you knwo yopur all outthere obvuiously sone o fthis is chat an som o fthis will b consulation paid and some of this will be onsite work in la paid, also anyone with extensive contacts in the cosmentic communuty who wantsto mentor or isucss with e the many monsters who lauch th stilas an the tartes and the scott barns aan skincare- these ar all thingsid go to class for but allyouex perts pout there……lets interface. iahev some great ideas. a;so in la theres alather guyw ith th ebest skins where c an i fins this guy? fdowntown? iwant oft gloveskin but cool patterns.
alos one mor ewor on the grat dekkers stiuff check it out and letters of marque.com yopullsethe collection ots sexy anc affordable a letter of marque mant if you wre a pirate aN YOU HAD A LETTER OF MARQUE YOU WER ALLOWED BY TEH COUNTRY WHO HAD GOVEN YLOU TH ELETTER OF MArqu roto plunfer an dpillage. IN MY CAS NBO I INT SIGN NO DAMMED LETTE ROF MARQUE BUT AS I TOLd THE USA TOday lady karen yes sometime sit is theraputic. to post ( oh ill be in ny for fashion week anyone eligeble fo rthe last list cosmtics textiles ifyou wanna meet an dyou know your shit and costs etc so ican putthat into mny buseinss plan) ( im not even talking about prffume!~ noons gonnz buy a prfriume b y me presently n o mattr if it was better than fracs!)
I was uber sark sprssed, i mean not reaady for th hospital biut sharing wiuth you all, iwas really sad gutted about this money stuff it dod dickand knwoinfg i may meet someone who we can change each other s lives graphic deosigner design designer- etc- hosiry an lingrie fabric person= catsuits too- im exite and i hope your out there i o ned a graphic designer, soneone who lovs for fonts.
is anyone the massiv3 fan of sam taylor wood as i am?
okay my kis on th treadmill- i think someons feeling good about high school.
i need to sleep some. i feel alot better.;
as for winehouse thats so fishy- its liek someone trying to changetheh sibject by a ccysing me of something i know nothing abouyt never sai an nevr would hav said- lie i said my philosphy on sex rugs and rock n roll is if youc a- have fun- ifyouc ant try at last 90 days not 28 at rehab and 90 80 12 steo neetings if it taaks reasing the secret fir mne to dragyour asses to the gohonzon nam myoho remge kyo that babty is the sceret.
Shout out to Miyo coo! you rule some o fthe goth lolly is nuts but its art i love it i just know with suzuki who iw anna wear to ny fashion week rthe shoulders and ribs needd to be widened alot- ivgain..ed a fw pounds im stillthin just not a stick and are we okay with the hair? i love it, thanks at courtney love.com for allteh constuctive c opmments about the darker blonde hair and also the bob was fun bit ive ammed well dopne the bob now. gonna watch reruns of big love, an d thin k about my hbo day weds i think- dont worry the records on track just mixing we gottarecord trashy dirty girsd anf one more carc rash possibly amaybe another one an i haveto rcord leadng man and last will an testament and can you mnak me cry.
nam myoho renge kyo
lov to aall
courtney
Current mood: determined
i di N interview woith whAT SEMNED LIKE A VERY NICE lady at usa today about Posting- w chatted an awful long time and i feel very very stressed when i cant remnember all that ive said
i try so hard to be a good gitl- i know i named dropped an awful lot -it just sort of happens peip;le who inspire m ate mty frins whatnot come up never ina na insulting way e cptteh bizarr accindeal “quote” in a tab…. talkd about princess Ai bing in th paper [ im in this space ralking to rhis v ictims of crime psychiatrist whjre ive begun resharing the tale with people without even knowing im doing it an late ae night now i start to think really bad thoughts, wellll shit you wannted an honest post im giving you one, in the old days in 94 after my husband had died about 2 months later i started posting on my site abnd i had this whol elittel galaxy to those of you too youn g there was a time no t only without an intertrnet buyt there was this thing called aol- it was the forst tim mostr of us punters lsitemnd an you could get your mil here and i usd to c all him Steve Lower case to remove stuff ididnt like
he was cool h would come to loolapalooza and came to a hole show once, it was if you wre fampus just a bulleutin board about yours;f i love these social networks cos abybody can be “famous ” within them for thier g raphics — CRAUGS LIST MOMET I NED TWO DESIGNERS- ANYONE FROPM THE STANFORD DESIGN SCHOOL IS WAY WELCOME-= NBUT AT MAJOR L;ABEL;S WE GET GRAPHIC DESGNERS AND IM FDOIBGTHINGD A LITTLE DIFFERENT- ID LIKE A GRAPHIC DEOGNER TO GO TO ABOUT FONTS AND ICONS AN SYMBOLS AND ETC AND IF LIKE A SESIGN SHCOOL PERSON TO STARTTHINKINGABVOUT EVERYTHING FROM HOWE TO CHALLENGE A CD JEWEL BOX MERCH FROM ROCJ SHOWS YER AVRAGE TSHIRT COTTON PANTIRES THING BOULEVARDIER WILL OPEN AN ACCT NAMED CLMYSPACE2@GMAIL.COM TOMORROW OF HE HASNT ALREADY XSEND ANY INFO THERE OKAY?:
an for music sorry hste to interup[y one thing 2 things actually id oput on craigs list well 4 things0= anyone from Otis? anyone wanna be a seamtress on an amazing new line with amazing one of a kind crazy italian an d french and london and somne china bought fabrics and notions -
input also welcomep- know your leavers lace from mouuseline- and know how to order a bag be made in a chines factory= w wont be making things in china = i can tell miles away -= by the way other then the Dekkers lingerie wich is the most exciting original lingerie i ve evr ever seen donrt go expecting agent p= marlene dekkers is her name i think? shes dutch = stacy dashes great line is called Letters of marque- its all silk cotton victoriana, www.lettersofmarque.com. its afforDable an dthe oppoite of ekkers lang in his prime- uber femme- its basically my entire former stage wear = leavrs lace is the lace we see on victorian whites- its made of cotton and stacy told me there are about 100 looms in the world left- sh based here ntire c ollection on a victoriasn co,mbing jacket i hav several
i didnbt know ie was called a combing jacket- and im a little aarrogant hubristic even about my fabric an d trims and i believe i need to spend a wek watchinga lacroix and a gaultier couture show= with lacroix i once even bought a lacroix jacket in the s outh of france- i never got the clothes but ten years of couture collectionz mags im starting to understand how important they are- why theres so much of these horriifc wasted fabric so beuatiful anfd so ouutragously expebnsive shaped ina terrible cosevarvative vrsace on iotd worse day meets prom dress for mom - god what iw ouldnt give for dome of thse notions and buttond sna laces and silkns and new metallic textiles and organioc v oiles and orgsnoc tulle-= im amking that up ther isnt any yet- the dress im wearing on th pic ture opposite is th first Never trhe bride ress Clares Pattern for the m ost part= but i had asked for sleves and shirring-= its very epnsive victorian lace and we took it off but arounf the empire band ( my huge ribs) is a belt with studs we didnt second guess the studs craze of giles and robertpo ( givenchy) in gold or this prossums fall studs- i mean what afantasy= going to london next sunay an gett he punk stufdded platforms ehe punk studded purse and the 10000s of punk studs on the trench. o think a brad be it or a prson thin g object has to hav a few rules- you nees to kno wthe statitics of the innovaters an dthe early adopters of youve got a new idea say for indatanc i put aside the past wich is gutting me like a searing hot knife making m glad i dont have firearms in th house,. womndering if maybe i should take some sort of anti depressent - but it goes away as soon as i put the books away thw crazy cooked ones- theresw so muc h i have to do- becaus eothrwise ther will be wil goose cghases an my credibility must be impeccable- names i dont know of for 4 years this girl i could not =stand got a paycheck from me- then theres pretend peop;e and cash delivris your not dupposed to notice, from courier services i never hard of with stements like”BACK DDOOR BELL ONLY” in october 02 theres on day qhebn im at oct 02 ( im nopt in the country by the way) theres not onlya 4 milliuon ollar loan in the moriniung but theres cash dekivery, none in 000s, in ehings like 6589, all under 10k, i dunno all in on delivery isntther that tak,ingf out ov rten k in cash topo much law? jus whne i got to about 995k in cash delivere to my house in one day im so sad and i turn thr page and it goes ovr a million 1.198,643.88 cents oct2, 03. i have to do this, AND youllundrtsand why in a few mnonths but it removs me from the present and makes m crashingly depressed, and all tyhat i have on my fvuture an don my present a few things
i could make 10x this amount if i could letthis go - seriously- truly let it go= karma doesnt stop atthe shores of maui and la county line- or antelope valley ( nopt much unincoprtated in calif- but that one is) the fbi has a list of the top ten states where mnotgrga fraud occurs the most- and it resonats teh way ateh 7 princ ipals of a good brand resonate- in terms of wire transfers ive seen and mortggeags and loans whos social securty numnberd were all those people? deceased? probably- id call in my loft aND maybe ONE out of 20 calls was helpful t
and oh poor me yeah i liost it all- im no t lookinfg for pity - i drank the kool aid- but if ate in omn ot an the gove an anuthorities turn on YOU instead of going after this heinous thing wich has so says the forensics psychiatruist driven you mad- or even a police depratment to write upa report that all ones tvs are gone, becaus one is sucha n object of d3rision at that point
far more was stolen out of my kis trust han has been put back and i called them an dthey refiused to help-= well well get to them= well see whT THEY O WITH them, and each of these b mgrs sign a contrract that ihey willl under no cricumstanxcs sign fpr anything pmlu i will sign ONLY I SIGN fo rthings always s broken mor anfr more aggressively ONE DUDE IN O3 within a fw days was braking the contract, but worse he saw what washappening an he just walkd away claimning iwas toomnuch of a mess to deal with- the shrink says ” anyone would be a mess- you must stop blaming yourself
” and triu to get me to say the word victim again and again, in my religion ( Nichirin Buddhism) we are our envrionments and everything that happens to us is our responsiobility, its our karma , an w musrt own it= okay i amn the victim of a series of heinous vicious an technically psychotic crimes- bizarre and frocious ive never seen human evil like this- well ive sedn it in someone seyes and moral bhaviour but uh….that was ovrly covered this week, in Nuy case i was felling bl;ue i nee only get them two files from two agmncies and one ocument and icant do tht myseld and finishthese lesged anx timem yself so i dont start feling sucideal thoughts wich aooremnytly is vry common too after these crimes - i mean put 1650 crimes ina basket and call it crime. anywqay so yeah i need a mentor someone who has designedd and wantsto look at my sketches- help me figure out wether to go liuxury and both - i love juicy as a model and i lovethos e girls esp pam- and i love hedi but he probably doesnthavethe time-
i need som ehelp with lyrics - any lyrics will b sentto tyler first an if us3 them you will get a publishing fee- if youfeel more comfy copytighting beofre snding them to cl myspac 2 gmail thats cool too go from im not lookinto the eyes of a alading man
someone who can really tak command
- the topics arroganc pomposity th dream of beinga lading man willnever evr happen and no it has nothingto o with this week anyone following me knows leading man applis to may a dude= arroganc pomnposity people who enjoy preying on othrs inferiority- inspire me stiuck to some rhymes- an i have to think of a brilliant small c horus it was karma fades it never goes away- butthats weak- anywone who i use inthis willhav free tix to any show i play for lfe as wllas publishing, ihavr a pattern cuttr and a program firector i n3 somone who really knows iimnpirt export- posssibly has been pt premiere visionare fabric show before is up on textiles the new japense mill tyextiles and mostly someon whose an eprt n hosiery on how w chang the patterns on the looms cost? theres loons i think at jantzeen i saw an oprah where 42 people had touch one pair of spanx befor eproduced and if you know about txtile mills how they c an do “couture: bodysuits tighs” an things out of lingeore lace- this i need to knbow= an you knwo yopur all outthere obvuiously sone o fthis is chat an som o fthis will b consulation paid and some of this will be onsite work in la paid, also anyone with extensive contacts in the cosmentic communuty who wantsto mentor or isucss with e the many monsters who lauch th stilas an the tartes and the scott barns aan skincare- these ar all thingsid go to class for but allyouex perts pout there……lets interface. iahev some great ideas. a;so in la theres alather guyw ith th ebest skins where c an i fins this guy? fdowntown? iwant oft gloveskin but cool patterns.
alos one mor ewor on the grat dekkers stiuff check it out and letters of marque.com yopullsethe collection ots sexy anc affordable a letter of marque mant if you wre a pirate aN YOU HAD A LETTER OF MARQUE YOU WER ALLOWED BY TEH COUNTRY WHO HAD GOVEN YLOU TH ELETTER OF MArqu roto plunfer an dpillage. IN MY CAS NBO I INT SIGN NO DAMMED LETTE ROF MARQUE BUT AS I TOLd THE USA TOday lady karen yes sometime sit is theraputic. to post ( oh ill be in ny for fashion week anyone eligeble fo rthe last list cosmtics textiles ifyou wanna meet an dyou know your shit and costs etc so ican putthat into mny buseinss plan) ( im not even talking about prffume!~ noons gonnz buy a prfriume b y me presently n o mattr if it was better than fracs!)
I was uber sark sprssed, i mean not reaady for th hospital biut sharing wiuth you all, iwas really sad gutted about this money stuff it dod dickand knwoinfg i may meet someone who we can change each other s lives graphic deosigner design designer- etc- hosiry an lingrie fabric person= catsuits too- im exite and i hope your out there i o ned a graphic designer, soneone who lovs for fonts.
is anyone the massiv3 fan of sam taylor wood as i am?
okay my kis on th treadmill- i think someons feeling good about high school.
i need to sleep some. i feel alot better.;
as for winehouse thats so fishy- its liek someone trying to changetheh sibject by a ccysing me of something i know nothing abouyt never sai an nevr would hav said- lie i said my philosphy on sex rugs and rock n roll is if youc a- have fun- ifyouc ant try at last 90 days not 28 at rehab and 90 80 12 steo neetings if it taaks reasing the secret fir mne to dragyour asses to the gohonzon nam myoho remge kyo that babty is the sceret.
Shout out to Miyo coo! you rule some o fthe goth lolly is nuts but its art i love it i just know with suzuki who iw anna wear to ny fashion week rthe shoulders and ribs needd to be widened alot- ivgain..ed a fw pounds im stillthin just not a stick and are we okay with the hair? i love it, thanks at courtney love.com for allteh constuctive c opmments about the darker blonde hair and also the bob was fun bit ive ammed well dopne the bob now. gonna watch reruns of big love, an d thin k about my hbo day weds i think- dont worry the records on track just mixing we gottarecord trashy dirty girsd anf one more carc rash possibly amaybe another one an i haveto rcord leadng man and last will an testament and can you mnak me cry.
nam myoho renge kyo
lov to aall
courtney
Friday, September 14th, 2007
retouched pap shots. liars. fishy stories and evil.
Current mood: angry
you know how sometimes your lipstick gets wonky? wellthats THAT,. its pretty vile they retouch my mouth to make it look crazy wierd and like a cartoon.
sorry that mouth does not exist in this or any other room ive been in
-
BUT i just got a bunch of weird /freaky /cool crazy stuff from Japan
including wierd contact lenses
and theyve been sorta fun to run around in
but they photograph wierd so i dont think i like em anymore-=
its like when they make your cellulite ( wich i actually do not have ) ten times worse with retouching
anyway i had my Manson moment with my contacts the end.
over it.
sharon knows thats NONSENSICAL but she was too cowardly to pick on Elton who shes apparently vicious about behind his back . Ive never heard this then again we dont… hang .
Desperation or someone on a kamikaze mission- ?
..hmmmmm?
.
and Madge who she must just be scared of-=she just avoided that one. hmmmm. the plot thins.
love the kids.
Love Kelly love Jack
love the dad,
hell i even thought her and i were fine
but she m ustve been sooooo scared and desperate to pull that one outta her butt, cos its just so insane
Thous shalt not bear false witness. ESPECIALLY ABOUT CHILDREN! i Feel sorry for her that she resorted to such abusive lies
. I hope she learns a little more about karma. bless. Sorry but,when it comes to kids i just cannot no comment.
I feel alot pf compassion for someone that desperate whow ould resort to such insanity.
i sincerely hope she gets well soon and stops playing with peoples lives.
i keep throwing ’The Secret”at the wall!
Current mood: dirty
ummm……dont explain and dont complain right?shut up take yr p[ain and play that guitar right? see the Hubris the lies the inanity and stay still nom atter what they call you
STAY UNCOMPROMISED INNOCENT AND NOT BITTER AND NEVER JADED
i loathe the dammed Secret i keeop reading it anyway. chant dammit. oh justtwhazt stop a bad negative thought? theres a LAw of the universe a LAW. and for an effect you must first make a cause not WISH for one!
every single time you/ me uses our power our talent for money for sex for “impressions” for yet another discussion on BRANDING we are WHORES.
I JUST WANT TO DO MY JOB I MAY HAVE GONE TO A C LUB DANCED WITH KATE AND WORN THE SAME PERFUME A MIST OF PEHAGLIONS BLUEBELL AND DANCED WITH LITTLE LILY AND HER BESPOKE HAT FROM HAYMARKET AND ASKED KELLY OZ WTF HER MOTHERS PROBLEM IS! HELLO ! IF SOMEONE GAVE MY MINOR CHILD DRUGS ID KICK THIER DAMMED ASS I WOULDNT USE SOME NONSENSE LIE THAT WAS GOING AROUND IN 2000 BTW COS MY BROTHER WROTE SOME EXPOSE AND IM TOOSCARED OF MADGE AND ELTON SO IM GONNA HITA SOFT TARGET no comment.
ended up in front of i dunno 100 paparaazzi with my band kids n we stayed up til 9 am just writing cos that i can do;
write and man oh man oh man oh man it is so fucking beautiful to be able to have people with a totally different perspectives and cultural backgrounds to lean on -ive been in soooo much pain soo hurt
had to stare at a box - knowing its a blessing that the irs audited me for some particulars years, and the reaLIty of pure evil -= hit me over the fucking head and i could not move i was ina shimmering death mist i had to move for a while get my ass over here play music get on some airplanes.
Things done to my child for spite, spite pure spite to a 9 yr old. to kurts sister who has never gone to college and just wants to have her little farm and her horses his mother who justw ants to garden an d make things pretty, and they killed my heart -they tried really really hard but karma doesnt stop anywehere it doersnt stop in Palm Springs or Maui or Los Angeles it keeps going like a bullet whizzing thru the air so they will get what is thiers.
i willnot go onstage unless im p[repared to leave my guts on the thing and this record comes out when its good and bloody ready and my personal problems wich are vast - well they are all there- like dirty diamonds on the record i havent edited a thing from my fucked up twisted heart wich i try like hell to fix by chanting everyday and when iwas laying all twisted up in bed afterthe profiler/psych/forensic tried to explainthe nature of pure evil -= after living rosemarys baby = seeing a credit card witha whacky name or brand new luxury car or the lamp i saw on portobello road that i could not afford - and it dissapearing …….noone will know can know what that gaslighting was like it drove me mad and itwas always designedx to.
My religion states that my environment is a direct consequecne of the causes that i make or have made perhaps in another lifetime,sonething went really wrong, somethings go really good too, but all i know is that all that matters is that right now i have bloody stumps for fingers cos i dont have a pick not one and all i need to do i NEED to do is let it go, is walk away, breathe it out,do this shoot with Panos ( fucking genius) Ypianis and Sam(fucking genius) Taylor Wood maybe go record demos at i dont kno wthe cheapo places
just toerag cos it got so hyped by white stripes= its easy to you know homage white stripes=i have one its just came i only have one chord tho- its an e minor duhhhh i think it needs an old strat and some folkie lyrics witha few double enterndres MAYBE and midran ge for days no bass no treble bu tthe vibrato way the hell up, like an old Curtis Mayfield record-
maybe illtake a dance claSS - no way will i ever do much more without a guitar cept hang up[side down on a pole, i dont mind being too fat or too thin or out of 100s of paparazzi shots they seem to retouch one or two to mak emy lips look all chapped, or maybe they were - i just know i have to write the NEVER COMPROMISING TRUTH. and stick with it and i have one dammed job and i have enough people that get me and care for me and ,love me. an dethats all that matters and karma doesnt stop in Maui or LA or LONDON or Gloucester or Belsize- but this photo is very work intensive, and then in our bluebelll mist last night my dance partrner tells me about how sam is doing alot of chinese s and m rope photos and im intrigued but i sketched what the shoten zenjin/ forces of the universe put
into myhead and gave me a vision, and im gonna get a tattoo over that shitty old angel = prellle the oldest fabric companyt in the world in Lyon makes a yard of fabric pre day has 250 years of sketches and loom patterns and they have one Thistle- le Thiste- its beautiful
i dunna think i have even a DROPLET of scottish in me but the pricks and thebeauty of thistles have been captivating me for the last three years, and although getting this dammed cheapassed tat removed took forever and bloody well HURT im ready to get Le Thiste on my back i want Le Thiste everything and bluebells and whomever lives in P{ortland or Eugene you get one thing ( othe rthan Myrtle on the the 101 wich is only grown in Israel outside of Florence Canon Beach Devils Punchbowl etc) in late March and Early April called Daphne, and my god i can smell it now its just makes me happy to recall the smell, smells are fun and i love them, smells and textures and building textiles, wich im gonna do this year id like to see next week or so what the French made for Spring = whyd oes fashion matter to music? i dont know……theres some connection and its fairly deep = i dont mean luxury brands with the perfume with its 1200% markup fantasy that allows someone whod rather have a luxury brand perfume than a song, sometime if something smells really really good or is truly beautififul; i like it too, i just dont like thinking about the factt hat 40,000 children die of starvation every single day and 750 million people live far far below the povertty line and since ww2 theres been 200 wars some stillbeing fought. notleast the war in america of convienice over indivuality- like anyone or more than anyone im frail fragile and fucking dainty as a porcelain teacup- a hothouse orchid a white lotus i cant grow unless i have the right conditions. evil isnt one of them.
truth, and my curiouisty about life and about all of you gets the best of me= i make a terrible celebrity i know this- but i do i do ido leave my guts on the stage and despite the commodiftication of my words and melodies and i dont kno wthata growly girl is to everyones taste and i dont care atall…..b ut i believe despite our fantastical humaness and ability for enlightenment and human revolution we are HERD ANIMALS.Yes we have leaders Innovators “early adapters” and all that bullshit -but we follow the leader….like gazelles.
but it comes down to texture to music sometimes to taste( Lauderay Chestnut Macaroon) or Smell ( Young Living White Angelica wich btw does have white lotus rooit oil and blue tansyamongst other rareities) same brand sandlewood, joy, red cedar, acquah vitahs larch. young living Myrhh and Galbamum Penhaglions Bluebell, Fracas , WQestwood Boudoir and Carnal Flower ) and clothing i went to coco le mer yesterday and i had to have a pair of about 1930 panties ….i hope we are not herd animals but more and more science says we are.
i have to go write a rock song now. enough of tastes and smells and textures gossipy nonsense and fishy subject changing almost to an overwhelming point.
sound is all that matters. all is word , all is sonic.allis TRUTH, and nothing else matters.
Current mood: angry
you know how sometimes your lipstick gets wonky? wellthats THAT,. its pretty vile they retouch my mouth to make it look crazy wierd and like a cartoon.
sorry that mouth does not exist in this or any other room ive been in
-
BUT i just got a bunch of weird /freaky /cool crazy stuff from Japan
including wierd contact lenses
and theyve been sorta fun to run around in
but they photograph wierd so i dont think i like em anymore-=
its like when they make your cellulite ( wich i actually do not have ) ten times worse with retouching
anyway i had my Manson moment with my contacts the end.
over it.
sharon knows thats NONSENSICAL but she was too cowardly to pick on Elton who shes apparently vicious about behind his back . Ive never heard this then again we dont… hang .
Desperation or someone on a kamikaze mission- ?
..hmmmmm?
.
and Madge who she must just be scared of-=she just avoided that one. hmmmm. the plot thins.
love the kids.
Love Kelly love Jack
love the dad,
hell i even thought her and i were fine
but she m ustve been sooooo scared and desperate to pull that one outta her butt, cos its just so insane
Thous shalt not bear false witness. ESPECIALLY ABOUT CHILDREN! i Feel sorry for her that she resorted to such abusive lies
. I hope she learns a little more about karma. bless. Sorry but,when it comes to kids i just cannot no comment.
I feel alot pf compassion for someone that desperate whow ould resort to such insanity.
i sincerely hope she gets well soon and stops playing with peoples lives.
i keep throwing ’The Secret”at the wall!
Current mood: dirty
ummm……dont explain and dont complain right?shut up take yr p[ain and play that guitar right? see the Hubris the lies the inanity and stay still nom atter what they call you
STAY UNCOMPROMISED INNOCENT AND NOT BITTER AND NEVER JADED
i loathe the dammed Secret i keeop reading it anyway. chant dammit. oh justtwhazt stop a bad negative thought? theres a LAw of the universe a LAW. and for an effect you must first make a cause not WISH for one!
every single time you/ me uses our power our talent for money for sex for “impressions” for yet another discussion on BRANDING we are WHORES.
I JUST WANT TO DO MY JOB I MAY HAVE GONE TO A C LUB DANCED WITH KATE AND WORN THE SAME PERFUME A MIST OF PEHAGLIONS BLUEBELL AND DANCED WITH LITTLE LILY AND HER BESPOKE HAT FROM HAYMARKET AND ASKED KELLY OZ WTF HER MOTHERS PROBLEM IS! HELLO ! IF SOMEONE GAVE MY MINOR CHILD DRUGS ID KICK THIER DAMMED ASS I WOULDNT USE SOME NONSENSE LIE THAT WAS GOING AROUND IN 2000 BTW COS MY BROTHER WROTE SOME EXPOSE AND IM TOOSCARED OF MADGE AND ELTON SO IM GONNA HITA SOFT TARGET no comment.
ended up in front of i dunno 100 paparaazzi with my band kids n we stayed up til 9 am just writing cos that i can do;
write and man oh man oh man oh man it is so fucking beautiful to be able to have people with a totally different perspectives and cultural backgrounds to lean on -ive been in soooo much pain soo hurt
had to stare at a box - knowing its a blessing that the irs audited me for some particulars years, and the reaLIty of pure evil -= hit me over the fucking head and i could not move i was ina shimmering death mist i had to move for a while get my ass over here play music get on some airplanes.
Things done to my child for spite, spite pure spite to a 9 yr old. to kurts sister who has never gone to college and just wants to have her little farm and her horses his mother who justw ants to garden an d make things pretty, and they killed my heart -they tried really really hard but karma doesnt stop anywehere it doersnt stop in Palm Springs or Maui or Los Angeles it keeps going like a bullet whizzing thru the air so they will get what is thiers.
i willnot go onstage unless im p[repared to leave my guts on the thing and this record comes out when its good and bloody ready and my personal problems wich are vast - well they are all there- like dirty diamonds on the record i havent edited a thing from my fucked up twisted heart wich i try like hell to fix by chanting everyday and when iwas laying all twisted up in bed afterthe profiler/psych/forensic tried to explainthe nature of pure evil -= after living rosemarys baby = seeing a credit card witha whacky name or brand new luxury car or the lamp i saw on portobello road that i could not afford - and it dissapearing …….noone will know can know what that gaslighting was like it drove me mad and itwas always designedx to.
My religion states that my environment is a direct consequecne of the causes that i make or have made perhaps in another lifetime,sonething went really wrong, somethings go really good too, but all i know is that all that matters is that right now i have bloody stumps for fingers cos i dont have a pick not one and all i need to do i NEED to do is let it go, is walk away, breathe it out,do this shoot with Panos ( fucking genius) Ypianis and Sam(fucking genius) Taylor Wood maybe go record demos at i dont kno wthe cheapo places
just toerag cos it got so hyped by white stripes= its easy to you know homage white stripes=i have one its just came i only have one chord tho- its an e minor duhhhh i think it needs an old strat and some folkie lyrics witha few double enterndres MAYBE and midran ge for days no bass no treble bu tthe vibrato way the hell up, like an old Curtis Mayfield record-
maybe illtake a dance claSS - no way will i ever do much more without a guitar cept hang up[side down on a pole, i dont mind being too fat or too thin or out of 100s of paparazzi shots they seem to retouch one or two to mak emy lips look all chapped, or maybe they were - i just know i have to write the NEVER COMPROMISING TRUTH. and stick with it and i have one dammed job and i have enough people that get me and care for me and ,love me. an dethats all that matters and karma doesnt stop in Maui or LA or LONDON or Gloucester or Belsize- but this photo is very work intensive, and then in our bluebelll mist last night my dance partrner tells me about how sam is doing alot of chinese s and m rope photos and im intrigued but i sketched what the shoten zenjin/ forces of the universe put
into myhead and gave me a vision, and im gonna get a tattoo over that shitty old angel = prellle the oldest fabric companyt in the world in Lyon makes a yard of fabric pre day has 250 years of sketches and loom patterns and they have one Thistle- le Thiste- its beautiful
i dunna think i have even a DROPLET of scottish in me but the pricks and thebeauty of thistles have been captivating me for the last three years, and although getting this dammed cheapassed tat removed took forever and bloody well HURT im ready to get Le Thiste on my back i want Le Thiste everything and bluebells and whomever lives in P{ortland or Eugene you get one thing ( othe rthan Myrtle on the the 101 wich is only grown in Israel outside of Florence Canon Beach Devils Punchbowl etc) in late March and Early April called Daphne, and my god i can smell it now its just makes me happy to recall the smell, smells are fun and i love them, smells and textures and building textiles, wich im gonna do this year id like to see next week or so what the French made for Spring = whyd oes fashion matter to music? i dont know……theres some connection and its fairly deep = i dont mean luxury brands with the perfume with its 1200% markup fantasy that allows someone whod rather have a luxury brand perfume than a song, sometime if something smells really really good or is truly beautififul; i like it too, i just dont like thinking about the factt hat 40,000 children die of starvation every single day and 750 million people live far far below the povertty line and since ww2 theres been 200 wars some stillbeing fought. notleast the war in america of convienice over indivuality- like anyone or more than anyone im frail fragile and fucking dainty as a porcelain teacup- a hothouse orchid a white lotus i cant grow unless i have the right conditions. evil isnt one of them.
truth, and my curiouisty about life and about all of you gets the best of me= i make a terrible celebrity i know this- but i do i do ido leave my guts on the stage and despite the commodiftication of my words and melodies and i dont kno wthata growly girl is to everyones taste and i dont care atall…..b ut i believe despite our fantastical humaness and ability for enlightenment and human revolution we are HERD ANIMALS.Yes we have leaders Innovators “early adapters” and all that bullshit -but we follow the leader….like gazelles.
but it comes down to texture to music sometimes to taste( Lauderay Chestnut Macaroon) or Smell ( Young Living White Angelica wich btw does have white lotus rooit oil and blue tansyamongst other rareities) same brand sandlewood, joy, red cedar, acquah vitahs larch. young living Myrhh and Galbamum Penhaglions Bluebell, Fracas , WQestwood Boudoir and Carnal Flower ) and clothing i went to coco le mer yesterday and i had to have a pair of about 1930 panties ….i hope we are not herd animals but more and more science says we are.
i have to go write a rock song now. enough of tastes and smells and textures gossipy nonsense and fishy subject changing almost to an overwhelming point.
sound is all that matters. all is word , all is sonic.allis TRUTH, and nothing else matters.
Saturday, September 15th, 2007
thanks for all that support i really dont google myself hardly ever as for PR i have the best best best , but with no record he cant and shouldnt stamp out every dumb blog or nonsense bloid thing its alwyas bvest to never complaina and never explain and i guess i do a little of both while im in such a holding pattern but back back back to the studio the L:AST time weve just got one rocker to put on here and micko and me made up a magical little songa nde my nme writer friend has 2 guys for me to take these songs to both who uhnderstand the folk form - i could write ocean rain or i dunno an earlier u2 song in my sl;eep cos thats when and who i learned s ongwriting from Northern UK and Irish guys in the 80s is when i started l,earning how to write ive kept up with things pretty well - i mean in terms of guitar; Jack Whotes fairly innov ative and ive grown to understand Kid A and its relevance wich actually didnt grab me right away allthose years ago it came out-= Yeah ima good actor and i actually am a great dresser if they just would get off myass, but they dont, so i just ignore em, and wirth Panos pushing me into new directions sartorially it resonates with me musically the V and A Couture exhibition is Tuesday and my English fave Todd Lynn is tomorrow youllsee me in alot of his stuff it gives me a Bowie feeling when i wear him, as for the V and A im going with Ricardo who is runnin g/designing Givenchy and I getr ot weaR Couture again yummmy yummy - i know exactly the dress iw ant from the couture too- its a retrosp[ective3 of Couture - this is as the labour intensive work for the ( possible probable) cd cover is happening, then i have a few days to jam with my kids just for the hell of it, just jam i think as a band,
and then go to Paris an dthen back here and then back to the ballroom in la.
Well i wish i had had 6 kids but i havent done , it aint over yet , but itll have to wait til this cd tour and the film im doing are in the bag done and over - ive got a few years yet and that pictur epissed me off as itw ould anyone cos of what it al;l;uded to, im my Ob GYNs favourite patient, just genes i guess lotsa longevity and all the stiuff that goes with it- doenst meaN I wont get hit by a bus today but i wish i had had a brood, i feel i would have been far more protected- and if they turned out even half as good as my kid, id be in heaven,
great hair straight as a fabulois social life and turns down film after film and multi million dollar designer campaigns= good on her- my little genius- the proof is in the pudding is all i can say = i raised that kid not some random n annies, and despite what the bloids say or do i live my life accroding to strict and true convictions and values,
is it totally paranoid to think that acertain freak of nature
back of the herd who just hops rides on the rest of us has an obsessed freakishly homely and nasty as it gets PA who is hopelessly in love with her freak boss and somehow shes just connected with him to this endless line of nonsense from winehouse to shazza to over 60 paps and only one photo came out an dtheyve painted my mouth? Obsessed people get really wierd and do obsessive crazy things ive been and wil continue to be this year on the recieving end of this runts obsession with me and you betchya emit -all i do believe in instant karma
like you do THIS and BAM it hits ya, but i did nothing i should not have done and certainly i had no cynical motives whatsoever, itw as just as the scientlogists put it when you check somneones “stats” and theyc ome up “sp” sci or not
its common sense to avoid somneone into stuff that is over the common sense line and will end up with death, of someone. thats like 2 plus 2 equals 4 stuff i certainlydidnt say a word about winehouse and iwas on the beach in malibu less than a montha go and went up to the Osbourne house and theres nothing negeative between me and shazza til she pulled this nonsense out its like somneone is stirring up shit on purpose and it aint the karmic gods i can tellyou that, i know what imn talking about and whom .- but shed have to be on me 24/7 top pullthis line of crap followingme off- oh wait she has no life….so its tres possible.
woman ifyour reading this pleas etake the guy= run of!
f express your true feelings stop[ pretending to be a “PA” and leave us all alone, christ how many times do i have to say it? Shall i demon….. strate? instead of using tabloid connections to allude i have some std with retouching!~ if i did ,wich i dont ,theres only one filthy embarassing gutter ive been in where those things thrive love. ahhhh poor pa , in love with her er
“boss” is on just some krazed kooky kampaign to get me and its just harder and harder,coz what is there to get? no drugs, discreet sex and quietly finishing thsi rock n roll…. well theres not much to nail me with , so just create stuff and yes thank you i am a rockstar and i AM allowed to wear freaky contacts for dress up even if it looks wier dthe next day at l,east i had fun.
anyway im well looked after
couldnt be better looked asfter= cds ar epractical;ly obsolete so thsoe of us still playing now and in 2 years
yall should applaude cos we sure as fuck aint in it for the cash…….in 2 years cds willbe 8 track level old tech.
cant wait fort Todd Lynn tonight Again theguys a cutter and whata cutter, i do love a good cut, gracious living is something ive always needed and a good cut has alwaYs beena pure part of that, im gonna go for a run in the park i think now, if i can finb my horrible New Balance shoes talk about unglam.
But man they do function better than any Nike for running and exercising they just do tough on Nike, and its nice they send me cute stuff somnetimes butthe shoes for real working out? its New Balance sorry , they just bloody work.
Wonder what Covent Garden is like this early>? hmmm. spray on some bluebell and go stretch and then chant see ya all laters.
i may be paranopid about the crazy obsessed PA - but its a few too many conikidinks for me to think that someones not being obsessive and pruposely not creating chaos and it just means i need to chant longer and withmore cvonviction to bringthe force of the universe into recalibration and alignment and put others before my self and alleviate misery where i can and bring joy where i can.
and alwaYS create value in all that we all do right?
.
i was so flattered today that Tony Wilson the Factory guy had in his last wishes a thinghe wanted me to do in October -= it was heart rendering as i only met him 3 times, If i have my paradigm polished an dthe absouloute release date i willcertainly do it and it was just beyond flattering,it was also funny.
oh my almost out of Bluebell dont have time to go to Liberty……damm i do love it here!
Bluebell! who thinks of that1 AHHH but the British! so gorge! Lapsang and a run and a chant and ill be right as rain ……AND IMPEnATRABLE cos the music always comes first Th ebest armour there is actually, nop tal;iusman is better than a true hearted good song.
xxx cl
and then go to Paris an dthen back here and then back to the ballroom in la.
Well i wish i had had 6 kids but i havent done , it aint over yet , but itll have to wait til this cd tour and the film im doing are in the bag done and over - ive got a few years yet and that pictur epissed me off as itw ould anyone cos of what it al;l;uded to, im my Ob GYNs favourite patient, just genes i guess lotsa longevity and all the stiuff that goes with it- doenst meaN I wont get hit by a bus today but i wish i had had a brood, i feel i would have been far more protected- and if they turned out even half as good as my kid, id be in heaven,
great hair straight as a fabulois social life and turns down film after film and multi million dollar designer campaigns= good on her- my little genius- the proof is in the pudding is all i can say = i raised that kid not some random n annies, and despite what the bloids say or do i live my life accroding to strict and true convictions and values,
is it totally paranoid to think that acertain freak of nature
back of the herd who just hops rides on the rest of us has an obsessed freakishly homely and nasty as it gets PA who is hopelessly in love with her freak boss and somehow shes just connected with him to this endless line of nonsense from winehouse to shazza to over 60 paps and only one photo came out an dtheyve painted my mouth? Obsessed people get really wierd and do obsessive crazy things ive been and wil continue to be this year on the recieving end of this runts obsession with me and you betchya emit -all i do believe in instant karma
like you do THIS and BAM it hits ya, but i did nothing i should not have done and certainly i had no cynical motives whatsoever, itw as just as the scientlogists put it when you check somneones “stats” and theyc ome up “sp” sci or not
its common sense to avoid somneone into stuff that is over the common sense line and will end up with death, of someone. thats like 2 plus 2 equals 4 stuff i certainlydidnt say a word about winehouse and iwas on the beach in malibu less than a montha go and went up to the Osbourne house and theres nothing negeative between me and shazza til she pulled this nonsense out its like somneone is stirring up shit on purpose and it aint the karmic gods i can tellyou that, i know what imn talking about and whom .- but shed have to be on me 24/7 top pullthis line of crap followingme off- oh wait she has no life….so its tres possible.
woman ifyour reading this pleas etake the guy= run of!
f express your true feelings stop[ pretending to be a “PA” and leave us all alone, christ how many times do i have to say it? Shall i demon….. strate? instead of using tabloid connections to allude i have some std with retouching!~ if i did ,wich i dont ,theres only one filthy embarassing gutter ive been in where those things thrive love. ahhhh poor pa , in love with her er
“boss” is on just some krazed kooky kampaign to get me and its just harder and harder,coz what is there to get? no drugs, discreet sex and quietly finishing thsi rock n roll…. well theres not much to nail me with , so just create stuff and yes thank you i am a rockstar and i AM allowed to wear freaky contacts for dress up even if it looks wier dthe next day at l,east i had fun.
anyway im well looked after
couldnt be better looked asfter= cds ar epractical;ly obsolete so thsoe of us still playing now and in 2 years
yall should applaude cos we sure as fuck aint in it for the cash…….in 2 years cds willbe 8 track level old tech.
cant wait fort Todd Lynn tonight Again theguys a cutter and whata cutter, i do love a good cut, gracious living is something ive always needed and a good cut has alwaYs beena pure part of that, im gonna go for a run in the park i think now, if i can finb my horrible New Balance shoes talk about unglam.
But man they do function better than any Nike for running and exercising they just do tough on Nike, and its nice they send me cute stuff somnetimes butthe shoes for real working out? its New Balance sorry , they just bloody work.
Wonder what Covent Garden is like this early>? hmmm. spray on some bluebell and go stretch and then chant see ya all laters.
i may be paranopid about the crazy obsessed PA - but its a few too many conikidinks for me to think that someones not being obsessive and pruposely not creating chaos and it just means i need to chant longer and withmore cvonviction to bringthe force of the universe into recalibration and alignment and put others before my self and alleviate misery where i can and bring joy where i can.
and alwaYS create value in all that we all do right?
.
i was so flattered today that Tony Wilson the Factory guy had in his last wishes a thinghe wanted me to do in October -= it was heart rendering as i only met him 3 times, If i have my paradigm polished an dthe absouloute release date i willcertainly do it and it was just beyond flattering,it was also funny.
oh my almost out of Bluebell dont have time to go to Liberty……damm i do love it here!
Bluebell! who thinks of that1 AHHH but the British! so gorge! Lapsang and a run and a chant and ill be right as rain ……AND IMPEnATRABLE cos the music always comes first Th ebest armour there is actually, nop tal;iusman is better than a true hearted good song.
xxx cl
Tuesday, September 18th, 2007
ball belles and bluebells
ibve never MET Peter Dohertty! Ive never spoken to Pete - No wait i did once on t he phone, aboput rehabs, PETE DOHERTY? OMG it must be a slopw news week- whata sad kid and needs help so much and sure id help himn but im DATING himn! i dont KNOW the guy!!!!!!
as for that drummer well hes hit on me so many times hes justa very v ery conflicted guy about me wich is why he continually writes songs about me to hear he “hates” me mor ethan “anyone else” is just amUsing- Kurt loathed HIM more than anyone else ( except a journalist) in his will he made a codicile that Grohl was no longer a member of Nirvana. i just ignored the guy and willcontinue to
Dave knows this, an d he takes it out on me! Hey it wasnt MY band and it wasnt MY idea!
its funny he “hates” me since i dont thin k about him - hes just sub mediocre kind of a cokehead who does this “niceguy” nonsense. theres isnt a eword he could he say that would riuffle my feathers, honestly.ANYWAY whata fun fabulous special evening!
i had a truly fabulius night lots of Lords and Ladies and Quentin ( Tarantino) who is just the best , and whow aas ispeaking of as being a loyal scorpio? oh yeah Rick Owens the designer - who the hell said this ewas Doherty? idont KNOW Pete ! Kate would kick my ass if this was trtue - she took out thios little silver bag tonight and i was shocked ( cos i recvognised it frm years back long long timne ago)
by how long weve known easc h other she wa sthe first model i ever made friends with about ten years ago maybe more now- weve had alot of adventure stogether and it was nic eto just smoke a few ciggies and be mellow and watch her world far more than mine go by,
we both wear P{enhaglions Bluebell its so lovely a lovely bluebell mist - i even wear it to bed - you can get it online but the Wynn is the one plac ein US iknow youc anget Bluebell- that Wynns cool-= i loathe vegas but i gotta say the stores at the wynn havethe most unique stuff i am obsessed with this diutch lingerie designer malie dekkers
i met a girl paula morgan who makes art out of roadkill and its gorgously sick and im defintly ingterested inb b uying some it sounds vile but its beautiful she finds dead aninals and then makes them beaiutiful again , i cant explain why this moved me but i thought it was deathly cool and i met a bespoke underwear mistress who makes lace herself an dmakes alot of Dita Von Teeses fabulous corsets and uses Couture laces and her name was Venda and shes defintly gettinga call from me too-= and i met the other night not here tonoght the lovely Mcqueen like a lovely sweet vulbnerable bear- if these people are “bitchy” i havent really seen it, theyre all sweet to me - i do think of what they do as art its a way of expressing ourselves. and to have the great honour to wear siuch an amazing piece as i did tonigh t theres even Coulottes cut in goergette on the inner draping, this dresswas made for a Couture model and for some reason they have smaller frames than even me skinny - just bones-its thyroid mostly i know they art eused ti make us feel wierd about our average weight etc so i get conflicted by all this luxury- but fuck it- im gonna have fun while the sun shines and just put in more than i get out, just keep ahea dof the eight ball in terms of charity and philanthropy. and then i can feel the enitre magical couture feeling, guilt free..l…….oh wow i wish i could descirbe to you th edifferecne just a dress can make to your esteem your feelings your posture stature it was all very 1859 in side there iwas like “wheres the laudunum morphine super strong!) and with major blush Laboutins- that were so high and pointy - but this lovely cream
Ive dicovered a Jasopanese Designer i LOVE Suzuki Takayuki- its all creamy whites and ivories and ruffs and twists,
check out his Tokyo fallcollection all i know is that he is very very young and this is earl,y days for him and hes showing so much potential- i get so inspired sometmnes bu the sartorial senses sated that it soumnds riduclous but i end up writing songs all night-
ahhhhhl….okay
im dazzled by whata golden fun evenin g i had what a gorgoues couture gown i was wearing what lovely philanthropical compassionaqte people i met the & also sticking with me from dinner not tonight but last night-
..is the sweetness of Gwyneth “Goddess” Paltrow whose m aybe the nicest person on this earth, ( other than Trudie Styler well i have a pretty long list these days but those two are simply outstanding humnan beings in way most of us just aspire to be)
whats outside is not even a clue of how compassionate , loyal and cool she is inside- i know, i know its sick- someone that beuatiful could be even MORE beautiful spiritually and with such a goldfen heart inside- even more by about ten times- i used to glower at her glow iwa stotally jealous of it i realize now and im rarely ever jealous- but ive realised in the last year how great and abundant a human being she is, always puttin g other s before her- never making the quote “wrong move” cos shes got amazin g clarity, hardcore intellect by such a long shot that i dont think shes given credit for- social awareness, perfect balance wihc she works hard to achieve and crytsal intuition and just hasnt crashed and burned and wont- man i love/ adore that girl- sorry to get sappy/ namedroppy but i cant express a l;ittle4 negativity/boredom/bleh /bemusement at these people who just MAKE SHIT UP ABOUT ME, and how utterly miserable they are wich is what they seem to all have a common,is a deep self loathing yet the people at the top of thie rgame seem to have unlimited self esteem wichg leaves so much more room for the Law of the Universe.i could have a pity party at the way the blogbloids perceive me an dthe people who are so lopwend they just kick me an dthey are doin g it co s i gues stheymiust think im down?
WOW!
im so NOT down thats the irony -
I couldnbt be more UP@!!!!!! God! i have so much positve an dlovely in my life now sweet little secret romances and lovely things- and people and a kid who is a brainaic but cool and beautiful and OMG! so socially adept! heh, i love that!
i willno longer tolerate toxic people abusive people or liars in my world or life whereas i used to- i couldnt be more productive or busy and i couldnt feel better about the future and as of today my team for the future- ia dore all of them and they seem to really believe in me and no way in HELL could i pull off this herculean effort - imagine 100 sit ups twice /three a day!!!! Without that positive energy behind me from very powerful souls. - but its haaaaaarrrd- imasgine that many oblique crunches a day even- this
is what it feels like some times of
mixing this record doing the art and going back for the LAST SESSION with Goddess of my World Linda Perry another human being who is wildly amazingly succesful….an is empathic compassionate and has a heart of gold an dmy best interests at heart always and works so hard on this record and treats me with dignity and respect wich i know i deserve , and i deserve no less, thats a tough one to figure out,
but youve gotta if you wanna activate the Laws odf attractiona nd cause and effect ina positive eway take no shit from anyone and people have abused this imgiinary image persona that i “take no shit from anyone ” in the past to truly hurt me-
and what do all these truly succesful people have in common- from Bono Drew Stipe my lawyer and partner Howard my yoda and friend Alan- Woody- Edward/ Bennett/ Marc Jacobs./ Testino/ Lachapelle/ Brett(Ratner)? Cameron, Lagerfeld? THEY ARE ALL REALLY GENUINLeY NICE GOOD PEOPLE
I DONT KNOW ONE PERSON IN THE RAREFIED AIR OF THAT LEVEL OF SUCCESS WHO IS MEDIOCRE OR MEAN SPIRITED OR LESS THAN WISE!@ OR a DICK!!!
i don t mean some reality show / crap music judge/ festival booker or some mediocre self loathing drug abusing nasty little man with sexually conflicted feelings for me wich hes expressed more than once in =his heavy breathing monster jocko way - i mean TRULY succesful at life at family at love at self love- have in common-= they lovethemselves , have un limited self esteem wicch putds them in th eposition to put others happiness beftore thier own-
the V and A museaum is beuatiful and i was honoured to be there i met the Fabulous an dv ery charistmaticf and beaiutiful Amanda Herlech ( sic) and had a surreal slow strange in tandem walk with the editrix of American Vogue who people always slam becaiuse she has so much power in fashion, but i saw whata vulnerable woman she was tonight just by her energy and felt bad - shes also a soft ..asking when people tell me the latest nonsense from the blogoids- so much shit- some stated as fact and some people
just cheesy people id not really get caught dead with they are so toxic and i feel they aqre in so much animality an dhunger aqn dhell they really need help
slagging mne for no appranert reason….i mm at a loss as to why but i guess that lower end oft the herd doesnt know me and doesnt know what to do with me so they just go negative an dprint uglypics an dphotoshop them, and they just dont know what to do with me - its takes a tough skin to not have a pity party about it but god/ buddha /dna gave me bionic bootstraps and im not going anywhere- im swingin from the trees blazin and itll be such fun! i suppose
nooone understands the mixing/ finishing/ cover art band bonding moment it takes on the eve ( give or take a few months) of a CD youve worked on harder an d purer than anythinmg else youve ever worked on - so i guess im in this void without much context what do thes epeoples hateful comments have to do with my world? Nothing.
At my worst i would never give drugs to a 15 year old( i believe he was 18 at this time shes speaking of actually) but i CAN say without getting too far into it-= that the kid did give me pills from his dads massive stash, if his mother honestly believes that 7 year old hooey - hed better clear it up i would imagine,
cos the Universe notices EVERYTHING WE DO , every thougfht word and deed, BUT im 90% sure her and Grohl know they are spewingNonsense - know they ar ebearing false witness and its just my karma-= i wish i hadnt been goaded in to sayin g something totally true about a tabloid star Brit comedy person
-i do not make it a policy to comment to tabloids- or even to “clear things up”
business- this latest round of bloid/blog retarded photoshoppinga nd i must say these FOOLISH people thinking NOW is a great time to kick me with - Christ at least tell the truth= dont Llie!!!!
i just snapped im not perfect it would have been better to just talk to friends ofrfriends but i had been doingthat= anyway im not tablpoid sally and certainly itw asnt said oyt of vin dictiveness- or bithcinness it juist happens to be true that some people need to get well , szome people are truly truly sick , i certianly was no saint - in some different areas than that= in other words its a long asssed story and forget it!
5000 rows of heandsewn ruching with seed pearls imbedded in it- the way the sequins and pellets laid down the references to animality and whats undrneath skin the cerebral nature of Givenchy now, How much pressure there is to run a house not only must you think of Spring Fall Couture- Cruise Resort Pre Fall with hundreds of pieces shoes,accesoires , coats , pants, dresses and every piece must be GREAT
have a dialect in every department
but you must also be a steward of the perfume and the sunglasses and the underwear an dthe jeans and things p[eople can afford and you mnust rebrand the place after many many years of some sor tof neglect - i Locve Riccardo his Couture show =changed the way i saw things was like takinga powerful mind altering permanent hallucingen -= it was art truly truly art.
the way the drapes laid down was amazing - it was such an honour to bethere-such an honour to be wearing true couture and to be supporting this genius- he says im his “muse” or one of them apperently !i love that ! i mean what a delight! a treat!
in my dorky litle skteches ive been doing of things i wish existed i realise how little i know even though ive studied fashion as muchas cinema or music, littl ethings pop up when im ripping thru ten years of “Collezion” the fabrics opf lacroix
i FINALLY getthe genius of Gaultier- and smaller things like Vera Wang is really acool designer of clothinga nd so is John Rochas and Antonio Marras, a guy i found Marc Bihan Khaki Vietnam jackets over tulle and kick boots the GENIUS of my stylist Panos, wich is acknowledged by one and all, HES a magician and his aesthetic is amazing he has said no to every cleb rity and he only has beena fter me anmd someone else, i amn so honoured by our deepening friendshipa nd the energy he puts into me and getting me calibrated correctly again in this world and how much awe and respect people have for him as they should - i forgetthe exact addreses just look at his editorials i did rthe other day i think he shoudl design= its called Intrepid it must be .co.uk or agency…im not surre but lookat his imagination and your in for such a treat he really is a poet.
i adore and worship at the altar of Dame Westwood,a dn we had the funniest discussion too, sh etells me this story of some disscusion we had when iwas just begginig to get “out sick”
apparently i asked Dame Vivienne for a guitar designed by her , now i cannot recall this discussion but it was mor ethan embarssing that we spoke fo rsonething like 2 hours accoriding to her-= i remember talkingt to someone about the things she sai dwe discussed= but my god- i worship her- and felt so retarded that ic ouldnt recall these hour son the phone with her!
all in all a very glorious loveley evening a ball in london
Lords and Lasdiesw and Princesses and it was alla glow and a twinkle very un rock n roll excptthe kid whop ia cidently made wise with =- iw as so puzzled but upon refelction i think he was far more nervous to be in that company than m e - im very confortab le in that environement- its good clean people with alot going on and alot to give and its a posotive c reative environment especially ifyour meeting such cool people , ogh i could go on but my fat little feet seem to fit some kind of glass slipper occasionally - im mor ethan fortunate to be able to have fantastical adventures like this-
and dear darling people who are leaders and see me for me and dont buy into that other nonsense- even though idont think anyone is treated quite so off kilter a si am - this stream of noize about me drinking or trashing rooms etc-= its just nonsense and all these people have gone thru it themselv es and if they havent they just dont give a shit, so itw as jiust a golden Ball and i had a fantastic evening thanks to the Genius of Riccardo and my God My God the way this man desigsn his positivity and enthusiasm and dazzlinggenius- Hubert Givenchy is happy on the other side ,,,,,,,that is for sure.
well the suns up im so inspired i have Tarantinos mad beuatiful stream of cosnscoiuness running through my head…… talk about a maverick……. it gave me great ideas to see allthese shrines to the sartorial arts anmd i recomend this exhibition highly…..( also Bluebell- you wont look back!)
love blession g happiness to all
what i learned today:
sometime syou gotta just suck up the crud atthe bottom of the barrel or you winthave the opportunity fo rthe cream at the top of your coffee.
love
call me Miz Love Baby!
ibve never MET Peter Dohertty! Ive never spoken to Pete - No wait i did once on t he phone, aboput rehabs, PETE DOHERTY? OMG it must be a slopw news week- whata sad kid and needs help so much and sure id help himn but im DATING himn! i dont KNOW the guy!!!!!!
as for that drummer well hes hit on me so many times hes justa very v ery conflicted guy about me wich is why he continually writes songs about me to hear he “hates” me mor ethan “anyone else” is just amUsing- Kurt loathed HIM more than anyone else ( except a journalist) in his will he made a codicile that Grohl was no longer a member of Nirvana. i just ignored the guy and willcontinue to
Dave knows this, an d he takes it out on me! Hey it wasnt MY band and it wasnt MY idea!
its funny he “hates” me since i dont thin k about him - hes just sub mediocre kind of a cokehead who does this “niceguy” nonsense. theres isnt a eword he could he say that would riuffle my feathers, honestly.ANYWAY whata fun fabulous special evening!
i had a truly fabulius night lots of Lords and Ladies and Quentin ( Tarantino) who is just the best , and whow aas ispeaking of as being a loyal scorpio? oh yeah Rick Owens the designer - who the hell said this ewas Doherty? idont KNOW Pete ! Kate would kick my ass if this was trtue - she took out thios little silver bag tonight and i was shocked ( cos i recvognised it frm years back long long timne ago)
by how long weve known easc h other she wa sthe first model i ever made friends with about ten years ago maybe more now- weve had alot of adventure stogether and it was nic eto just smoke a few ciggies and be mellow and watch her world far more than mine go by,
we both wear P{enhaglions Bluebell its so lovely a lovely bluebell mist - i even wear it to bed - you can get it online but the Wynn is the one plac ein US iknow youc anget Bluebell- that Wynns cool-= i loathe vegas but i gotta say the stores at the wynn havethe most unique stuff i am obsessed with this diutch lingerie designer malie dekkers
i met a girl paula morgan who makes art out of roadkill and its gorgously sick and im defintly ingterested inb b uying some it sounds vile but its beautiful she finds dead aninals and then makes them beaiutiful again , i cant explain why this moved me but i thought it was deathly cool and i met a bespoke underwear mistress who makes lace herself an dmakes alot of Dita Von Teeses fabulous corsets and uses Couture laces and her name was Venda and shes defintly gettinga call from me too-= and i met the other night not here tonoght the lovely Mcqueen like a lovely sweet vulbnerable bear- if these people are “bitchy” i havent really seen it, theyre all sweet to me - i do think of what they do as art its a way of expressing ourselves. and to have the great honour to wear siuch an amazing piece as i did tonigh t theres even Coulottes cut in goergette on the inner draping, this dresswas made for a Couture model and for some reason they have smaller frames than even me skinny - just bones-its thyroid mostly i know they art eused ti make us feel wierd about our average weight etc so i get conflicted by all this luxury- but fuck it- im gonna have fun while the sun shines and just put in more than i get out, just keep ahea dof the eight ball in terms of charity and philanthropy. and then i can feel the enitre magical couture feeling, guilt free..l…….oh wow i wish i could descirbe to you th edifferecne just a dress can make to your esteem your feelings your posture stature it was all very 1859 in side there iwas like “wheres the laudunum morphine super strong!) and with major blush Laboutins- that were so high and pointy - but this lovely cream
Ive dicovered a Jasopanese Designer i LOVE Suzuki Takayuki- its all creamy whites and ivories and ruffs and twists,
check out his Tokyo fallcollection all i know is that he is very very young and this is earl,y days for him and hes showing so much potential- i get so inspired sometmnes bu the sartorial senses sated that it soumnds riduclous but i end up writing songs all night-
ahhhhhl….okay
im dazzled by whata golden fun evenin g i had what a gorgoues couture gown i was wearing what lovely philanthropical compassionaqte people i met the & also sticking with me from dinner not tonight but last night-
..is the sweetness of Gwyneth “Goddess” Paltrow whose m aybe the nicest person on this earth, ( other than Trudie Styler well i have a pretty long list these days but those two are simply outstanding humnan beings in way most of us just aspire to be)
whats outside is not even a clue of how compassionate , loyal and cool she is inside- i know, i know its sick- someone that beuatiful could be even MORE beautiful spiritually and with such a goldfen heart inside- even more by about ten times- i used to glower at her glow iwa stotally jealous of it i realize now and im rarely ever jealous- but ive realised in the last year how great and abundant a human being she is, always puttin g other s before her- never making the quote “wrong move” cos shes got amazin g clarity, hardcore intellect by such a long shot that i dont think shes given credit for- social awareness, perfect balance wihc she works hard to achieve and crytsal intuition and just hasnt crashed and burned and wont- man i love/ adore that girl- sorry to get sappy/ namedroppy but i cant express a l;ittle4 negativity/boredom/bleh /bemusement at these people who just MAKE SHIT UP ABOUT ME, and how utterly miserable they are wich is what they seem to all have a common,is a deep self loathing yet the people at the top of thie rgame seem to have unlimited self esteem wichg leaves so much more room for the Law of the Universe.i could have a pity party at the way the blogbloids perceive me an dthe people who are so lopwend they just kick me an dthey are doin g it co s i gues stheymiust think im down?
WOW!
im so NOT down thats the irony -
I couldnbt be more UP@!!!!!! God! i have so much positve an dlovely in my life now sweet little secret romances and lovely things- and people and a kid who is a brainaic but cool and beautiful and OMG! so socially adept! heh, i love that!
i willno longer tolerate toxic people abusive people or liars in my world or life whereas i used to- i couldnt be more productive or busy and i couldnt feel better about the future and as of today my team for the future- ia dore all of them and they seem to really believe in me and no way in HELL could i pull off this herculean effort - imagine 100 sit ups twice /three a day!!!! Without that positive energy behind me from very powerful souls. - but its haaaaaarrrd- imasgine that many oblique crunches a day even- this
is what it feels like some times of
mixing this record doing the art and going back for the LAST SESSION with Goddess of my World Linda Perry another human being who is wildly amazingly succesful….an is empathic compassionate and has a heart of gold an dmy best interests at heart always and works so hard on this record and treats me with dignity and respect wich i know i deserve , and i deserve no less, thats a tough one to figure out,
but youve gotta if you wanna activate the Laws odf attractiona nd cause and effect ina positive eway take no shit from anyone and people have abused this imgiinary image persona that i “take no shit from anyone ” in the past to truly hurt me-
and what do all these truly succesful people have in common- from Bono Drew Stipe my lawyer and partner Howard my yoda and friend Alan- Woody- Edward/ Bennett/ Marc Jacobs./ Testino/ Lachapelle/ Brett(Ratner)? Cameron, Lagerfeld? THEY ARE ALL REALLY GENUINLeY NICE GOOD PEOPLE
I DONT KNOW ONE PERSON IN THE RAREFIED AIR OF THAT LEVEL OF SUCCESS WHO IS MEDIOCRE OR MEAN SPIRITED OR LESS THAN WISE!@ OR a DICK!!!
i don t mean some reality show / crap music judge/ festival booker or some mediocre self loathing drug abusing nasty little man with sexually conflicted feelings for me wich hes expressed more than once in =his heavy breathing monster jocko way - i mean TRULY succesful at life at family at love at self love- have in common-= they lovethemselves , have un limited self esteem wicch putds them in th eposition to put others happiness beftore thier own-
the V and A museaum is beuatiful and i was honoured to be there i met the Fabulous an dv ery charistmaticf and beaiutiful Amanda Herlech ( sic) and had a surreal slow strange in tandem walk with the editrix of American Vogue who people always slam becaiuse she has so much power in fashion, but i saw whata vulnerable woman she was tonight just by her energy and felt bad - shes also a soft ..asking when people tell me the latest nonsense from the blogoids- so much shit- some stated as fact and some people
just cheesy people id not really get caught dead with they are so toxic and i feel they aqre in so much animality an dhunger aqn dhell they really need help
slagging mne for no appranert reason….i mm at a loss as to why but i guess that lower end oft the herd doesnt know me and doesnt know what to do with me so they just go negative an dprint uglypics an dphotoshop them, and they just dont know what to do with me - its takes a tough skin to not have a pity party about it but god/ buddha /dna gave me bionic bootstraps and im not going anywhere- im swingin from the trees blazin and itll be such fun! i suppose
nooone understands the mixing/ finishing/ cover art band bonding moment it takes on the eve ( give or take a few months) of a CD youve worked on harder an d purer than anythinmg else youve ever worked on - so i guess im in this void without much context what do thes epeoples hateful comments have to do with my world? Nothing.
At my worst i would never give drugs to a 15 year old( i believe he was 18 at this time shes speaking of actually) but i CAN say without getting too far into it-= that the kid did give me pills from his dads massive stash, if his mother honestly believes that 7 year old hooey - hed better clear it up i would imagine,
cos the Universe notices EVERYTHING WE DO , every thougfht word and deed, BUT im 90% sure her and Grohl know they are spewingNonsense - know they ar ebearing false witness and its just my karma-= i wish i hadnt been goaded in to sayin g something totally true about a tabloid star Brit comedy person
-i do not make it a policy to comment to tabloids- or even to “clear things up”
business- this latest round of bloid/blog retarded photoshoppinga nd i must say these FOOLISH people thinking NOW is a great time to kick me with - Christ at least tell the truth= dont Llie!!!!
i just snapped im not perfect it would have been better to just talk to friends ofrfriends but i had been doingthat= anyway im not tablpoid sally and certainly itw asnt said oyt of vin dictiveness- or bithcinness it juist happens to be true that some people need to get well , szome people are truly truly sick , i certianly was no saint - in some different areas than that= in other words its a long asssed story and forget it!
5000 rows of heandsewn ruching with seed pearls imbedded in it- the way the sequins and pellets laid down the references to animality and whats undrneath skin the cerebral nature of Givenchy now, How much pressure there is to run a house not only must you think of Spring Fall Couture- Cruise Resort Pre Fall with hundreds of pieces shoes,accesoires , coats , pants, dresses and every piece must be GREAT
have a dialect in every department
but you must also be a steward of the perfume and the sunglasses and the underwear an dthe jeans and things p[eople can afford and you mnust rebrand the place after many many years of some sor tof neglect - i Locve Riccardo his Couture show =changed the way i saw things was like takinga powerful mind altering permanent hallucingen -= it was art truly truly art.
the way the drapes laid down was amazing - it was such an honour to bethere-such an honour to be wearing true couture and to be supporting this genius- he says im his “muse” or one of them apperently !i love that ! i mean what a delight! a treat!
in my dorky litle skteches ive been doing of things i wish existed i realise how little i know even though ive studied fashion as muchas cinema or music, littl ethings pop up when im ripping thru ten years of “Collezion” the fabrics opf lacroix
i FINALLY getthe genius of Gaultier- and smaller things like Vera Wang is really acool designer of clothinga nd so is John Rochas and Antonio Marras, a guy i found Marc Bihan Khaki Vietnam jackets over tulle and kick boots the GENIUS of my stylist Panos, wich is acknowledged by one and all, HES a magician and his aesthetic is amazing he has said no to every cleb rity and he only has beena fter me anmd someone else, i amn so honoured by our deepening friendshipa nd the energy he puts into me and getting me calibrated correctly again in this world and how much awe and respect people have for him as they should - i forgetthe exact addreses just look at his editorials i did rthe other day i think he shoudl design= its called Intrepid it must be .co.uk or agency…im not surre but lookat his imagination and your in for such a treat he really is a poet.
i adore and worship at the altar of Dame Westwood,a dn we had the funniest discussion too, sh etells me this story of some disscusion we had when iwas just begginig to get “out sick”
apparently i asked Dame Vivienne for a guitar designed by her , now i cannot recall this discussion but it was mor ethan embarssing that we spoke fo rsonething like 2 hours accoriding to her-= i remember talkingt to someone about the things she sai dwe discussed= but my god- i worship her- and felt so retarded that ic ouldnt recall these hour son the phone with her!
all in all a very glorious loveley evening a ball in london
Lords and Lasdiesw and Princesses and it was alla glow and a twinkle very un rock n roll excptthe kid whop ia cidently made wise with =- iw as so puzzled but upon refelction i think he was far more nervous to be in that company than m e - im very confortab le in that environement- its good clean people with alot going on and alot to give and its a posotive c reative environment especially ifyour meeting such cool people , ogh i could go on but my fat little feet seem to fit some kind of glass slipper occasionally - im mor ethan fortunate to be able to have fantastical adventures like this-
and dear darling people who are leaders and see me for me and dont buy into that other nonsense- even though idont think anyone is treated quite so off kilter a si am - this stream of noize about me drinking or trashing rooms etc-= its just nonsense and all these people have gone thru it themselv es and if they havent they just dont give a shit, so itw as jiust a golden Ball and i had a fantastic evening thanks to the Genius of Riccardo and my God My God the way this man desigsn his positivity and enthusiasm and dazzlinggenius- Hubert Givenchy is happy on the other side ,,,,,,,that is for sure.
well the suns up im so inspired i have Tarantinos mad beuatiful stream of cosnscoiuness running through my head…… talk about a maverick……. it gave me great ideas to see allthese shrines to the sartorial arts anmd i recomend this exhibition highly…..( also Bluebell- you wont look back!)
love blession g happiness to all
what i learned today:
sometime syou gotta just suck up the crud atthe bottom of the barrel or you winthave the opportunity fo rthe cream at the top of your coffee.
love
call me Miz Love Baby!
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