hmmm
lets ee i look like shit the day after a rroot canal on both sides of my
back molars- eg double- meaning im puffy- then i go on a radio station
in a stupid miscalculation and play an unfishinsed song at a fast tempo
( wich is actually the most important part) not knowing they have a
compu net camera-
boy did i look shitty and at least myra who LIKES me came on and
nailed me for the execution OUCH…..
anyway myra at least talks about the substance the fucking SON G woich i
promise you myra will be well done and beautiful when its done and in
many ways im ecstatic that it sucked that day because then noone will be
alla tatched to that version
but all the other threads were just fucking lomgt and stupuid
crucifxtions and opinions about plastic surgery
lets get this really straight
ithink plastic surgery is a fucking great thing used well- its a great
equaliser
your mama gave you huge thighs? well fuck that dna- you got a nose that
isnt pretty in any way shape or form because two people who should
nbever have mated did and you can fix it and all of the sudden people
are way nicer to you and because of this your attitude towards the world
changes drastically? great
your neck has turkey giblets on it and you can get them to go away ansd
not feel bad about your neck and your aging process? great
i brought this up PUBLICLY. Ive discussed this ON THE COVER of
magazines. Ive DEMANDED Harpers bazaar NOT airbush my body to be thinner
and to publish my REAL weight ( 145) wich they didnt- but after a
lifetime of seeing patti hanson on the cover of cosmo and glamour And
reading she was 110- and meeting her and her telling me she was ussually
arounbd 150- i thought MAN im gonna make them tell the truth-
ever read that marilyn Monroe was 110? well dream on- i have a pair of
her jeans and at 140 theyre still big in the waist
she had a good fat distribution.
read nancy firdays power of beauty or survuvak of the prettiest or check
my pubkic tax returns re charities- alot of my money goes to The
Fortuine Foundation wich is a group of plastic surgeons and maxi facial
guys who go into jails and fix uop battered women but also they fix
women whove been deemed”bad” or “guilty” all their lives becayuse they
bave massive ugkly noses or beady eyes or bad jaws and another huge
public supporter is Goldie Hawn -
Now just because im the only celebrity that talks about this- doesnt
mean you guys get to go nuts when i look good or decide ive had face
lifts or not- Marilyn Mo?
nroe had a nose job a chin impant old school breats imlantants ( no sac
just loose poly plastic running around the mammarys) and caps and shes
certainly one of millions- japanese women have their eyelids done on a
regular basis
the number one p[latic surgery in america?????
Genital surgery. they get their labias zapped. wich i find tobe a mass
irony
because in ten years of stripping i only ever saw one vagina that looked
like the airbrushed porn one
she was about 4′11 and was maybe 16. maybe younger.
vaginas look like vaginas and the women in playboy have vaginas but
playboy erases them for a. legal reasons and b. aesthetic reasons= these
“inoffesnive” vaginas in Playboy are not REAL even on the models
themselves.
so women are getting vaginas based on an imaginary vagina idea? baby
vaginas? dont you ERAN your vagina? look down there- Ive earned my
thirties had a child vagina and for fucks sake i comehere after
dilgently teling you what i get and sometiimes i dont tell all 200
thousand plus the people from every paper plus the people stopping by
what i do and what i dont
i believe i did do a post where i literally listed every single
procedure i had ever had but you know whaty FUCK you- imdammed if im
pretty im dammed if im ugly
im dammed if i have bad skin im dammed if i sign 20 pages of documents
and maybe risk the heakth of an unbvorn child since its so fucking new
so i can have nice skin and im dammed for getting 1800 bleach teeth and
1800 zit zap and you can all afford THAT and you just bitch and bitch
and bitch
i DO NOT share what others have had- but i know- and its not my business
to tell you what 26 year old just had a fucking FACE LIFT full jobby-
because good for her
“artificial standards of beauty impossible to live up to”
maybe you should talk to Cindy- I have- Im fascinated with her and shes
actually a pretty nice person who did what she wanted to do=- and she
looks great.( she recomeneded my dentist-= Ronald Goldstein in Atlanta
the man is a genius im wearing BRACES as i type and was wearing them in
thise pictures and yiouy cant tell)
Shes a feminist. she was born homely and was in a punk band and maybe
she had 27 o whatever it is procedures but shes happy and if she hadnt
gone public with it- youd probably sort of know but not really and the
answer reeally is S O WHAT?
are you mad at me because im “LYING” that my nose was ugly? ar eyou mad
at me because im LYING to you because i changed my birth cintrol pills
got some 1 8–00 proactiv and am traking acutain because i never ever
want to be the girl who has to hgave special lighting on a film
thattakes an hour and makes the crew mad at you
because you have a zit and because i want to NOT wear makeup whenEVER- i
hate the obligation of makeup= shpuld i just let those zits come and
come? are the zits tellliong you something true about me and yiou demand
to know that theres something in my hormones that isnt perfect?
Ive done makeup in the mirror with the greatest beauties of our decade-
one said she hated her “jewnose” one said she was a “pitface” one said
she looked l ike “et” one whose been crucified for being too thin said
her ass was fat= literally the only bautiful female ive ver known who
didnt bitch about her looks was auf der mar
ive sat with two of the most powerful men in the BILLIONS a year fashion
business with an open tabloid while one said
“26!!! no way look at the collagen in her calves” and the other one was
checking the little fat fold all women have under our armpits near our
pecs- its a teeny little fold- all women of all weight have it- they
were making fun of the fold and wondering wether there was a lipo that
could get rid of the fold
i just read on here that i was 27 when i was not yet 16
iv read that i was 40 when i was not yet 30
and ive read this inane tripe you write about my phsyicality-whatever
ive done- ive done ina fairly conservative manner- the majority of my
physical improvements come from abstincence- exercise- enough sleep-
having the right outfit- wich isnt often and good lighting.
yes i had my breasts done- but i felt like a hooker- and i found the one
guy who has the taste most women have wich is to make a sticth where the
musces tighten up and its all you- isnt that nice? Plastic surgeons dont
tell you the truth and you have to demand what you want and you are
dealing withpeople who my psychiatrist tells me
and my shrinks main clinetele are baseball and basketball players who
have to deal with 100 thousand poeple screming hate at them at once or
love- and he sees a few celebs- me and another girl- youd say i guess my
“opposite”- and some leading men
he doesnt really see rockstars- a few- but he tells me of ALL his
clientele the ones with the BIGGEST egos
the worst problems are plastic surgeons- thats why they are so late-
thats why they are patronising- thats why they tell you they can make
you look like christy turlington wich isnt why you went to see them- you
went beause you didnt like you r nose and all of the sudden hes telling
you he can “give you” elizabeth taylors nose=
i watch people get suckered by plastic surgeons all the time- i went to
the guy in atylanta because my dentist and my daughters dentist has a
good address in bev hills and he didnt notice root canals? didnt notice
my daughters extra tooth?
Ive looked at Botticellis venus and wished i had that sort of beauty but
i dont- i have what i have and
Ive read alot about beauty- i certainly know the difference between fat
and skinny in how im treated by say ticket counter people- or drivers
and i certianly know after four years in the juvenile court system what
having an ugly nose did to my life
eg i didnt commit a crime or a misdeamor and was in the system for years
because nobody wanted me.
i had to learn how to make people like me despite my weight acne and
nose and flat chest so i developed my intellience my fighting skills and
sexual skills and “charisma” i gravitated towards drag queens who raised
me and groupies who were around rockstars because rockstars where
allowed to scream out whatever they felt and they weren beautiful.
and i gravitated towards leading character actors like sean penn or
robert deniro because they werent handsome or bette davis but they got
to do all the cool fun stuff- and because i provided the groupies with
places to stay i got to watch the action- watch chrissie hynde and the
wilson sisters and patti smith and exene and lydia lunch up close and go
“wow i could do that”
why is it that its YOUR BUSINESS even? “stop now” soneonbe tells me i
look like micheal jackson when ive lost swix pounds and look okay
then when i look like crap and dont wear makeup on tv im fat and ugly
agaian and “see shes this”
Look what i think is a- i probably am wasting my time
b- im trying to relate to most of you with bad body images who have some
absurd idea that plastic surgery is a sin
c- its not- and DONT bring up striesands nose its actually really
beautiful and a stuopid example- in the same realm of the REM four way
split- an anomoly
d- i dont know ONE person that hasnt had plastic surgery ( since your
now counting botox as “surgery” i REALLY dont know ONE person who hasnt
had it) not one 16 year old one 14 year olf and anyone above
some o fy our litttle sisters favourite minor as in under 18 pop and
movie stars had niosejobs befor ethe nose was done growing and tit jobs
before the boobs grew nipple reductions ( big nipples are ugky since
when? must be a disney thing.) i know of a bulimic popstar minor who did
nose and boobs and cheekbones and vagina
am i judging her not really- maybe she should go to better doctors
the prettiest girls get the best stuff- thats a fact- if your pretty
from day one- and paltrow wasnt- cameron wasnt- kate moss toldme she
wasnt- few are- but you know by 12- then theres a privelige you are
allowed- people giveyou so much more space- i measured after my nose-
people are polite- the more symetrical your features ( good dna for
breeding) the better your hip to waist ratio ( a perfect 0.6 makes 90
percent of all ALL men erect for about one to five seconds without them
even knowing)
this has nothing to do with your brain or howunfai rthe world is
it has o do witht he fact that our brains are 100s of thousands of years
old and everythingf rom how music moves us to how exercise releeases
endorphins to mating are all animalistic-= we are animals- period
andno amount of posting is going to chage that
as far as my professions- for rock you can have zits its no big deal- in
themetallica sense of the word- but for movies you want more than your
eyes to work- you need a flexible body and a sonorous voice and great
phrasing- good line delivery- like singing- and your skin needs to be
together enopugh that the crew doesnt have to keep thier familoies
waiting because of your zit and your wrinkle-’
my mom and her mom ( who is 78) dont wrinkle- they have thick thick
skin- they procude oil- they swell- look at paula in the ny times
magazine- i doubt shje even knows what retouching is- shes probbaly worn
makeup twice in her life- shes incredibely handsome maybe beautiful- my
mother isnt beautiful but she got paulas skin and paulas body and i got
those- thin skinned natural blondes like kurts mom wrinkle some- and i
DID have a “botox party” the ther night for women in thier fifties ( my
mother in law and her sisters and a teen with zits who got cortisone in
them so they went away) they had a blast and felt great about
themselves- youve never seen a group of happier women drunk ond aquiris
Did they look “ten years younger”?
dunno- i arranged with my dermotoligist to come over late and he did me
a huge favour broughtt he nirse everything- it was awesome-
pray tell me beyond the fact that it wasnt cheap what was wrong with
treating my in laws to this “mysterious” trreat? one even got some
collagen in her smoking lines and decided to quit smoking…..tell me
what is wrong with that?thye were proud and felt dignified the next day
i forgot alla bout it until this morning when they all called me on
thier way to the airport
and said “this was so wonderful we feel so good”
They felt younger and sexier and as women- hot ones too- they are all
women whove beeen through dovorces all ost men to younger women an
anaimalistic reaction
men can procreate forveer women cannot-
its all fucking monkey business until it goes crazy and people get thier
character taken ( jennifer grey) or lose all thiuer boundaries( jackson)
and noone will say no because thyere making so much money
is it self loathing to be a movie star who gets a face lift at 50? or
40? or is it a professionaL MOVE
if you saw a picture of j lo 20 pounds fatter with zits and bad hair
what would your response be? if her eyes were 4 millimeter cliser
together shed be homely.
i am dsone witht his post now but im sick of this- if your fat=- and you
dont like it- read “fat ius afeminist issue” and get aboyfriend or
bestfriend who is thin and wants you to be thin
i had demi moores trainer from gi jane atnd he told me something i
thought was so bogus it gave me the creeps
he said
“never let your assitants make your food they will always put butter in it”
it was the most ridicuylpus thing ive ever heard in my entire life- but
the more butter the more sub conscious resentment
and it turned out to actually be TRUE!
im not even going there since some are o were really good friends- but
he said every client hed ever had ( he did nmadonnas biody at its zenith)
had the assitant += butter thing- answer me THAT one smarties cos im at
a LOSS.
why right before a big event have some of my oldest best friends put
butter in everything?
anyway i understand also that surgery weight loss and pretty clothes do
cost money and that creates resentment
and im not out to snaga man- so maybe i try to look good just to feel lithe
But i do know i like the weight i am and you know what? where im filming
its gonnabe freezing- but because of the medium 35 mm film i have to
lose ten pounds- why?
cos if i dont my body will bebulky and wll distract from my job- period-
i could go into that demi/madonna zone because noones done it for a
while but its innaporporiate for lady . she just needs to be slender
enough to not distract you andnothave you discussing her wieght- thin or
fat
naybe one day i will do one of those pschyo pby morphs but when my
friend drew was going to she decided it would do girls more harm than
good- she realises that she has a normal body weight- shes on the “a”
listbecause HER special trick is being her. and as long as she puts
butts in seats she can have cinderella have brown hair- weigh a normal
amount and make the prince kissher butt.
wich is far more subversive than anything ive ever done. o anything the
sex pistols ever did.
okay im doine with this-mostly what id i is not yoybusiness i still will
enter in thse debates because i give a shit about most of you and want
you to understand our behaviour
i know its wierd when the tv starts takking to you but deal
goodnught beautiful girls.
xxx
. . .
intelligent response but off
i DID look beautiful as a child i was VERY beautiful
a hakf sibling told me my mother burnt all of the photographs of me as a
child- one wonders what she was doing this for- she also forbade me from
pursuing axcting- she also abused me in many cruel and humilaiting ways-
my theory wich she denies is that my biological father was so repulsive
to her and because her father ( adoptive) had abused her phsyically she
was even more freaked out by the sexual repulsion than an normal non
abused person would be- thusly ny early beauty and later ugliness
enhanced by uniforms provided by the State and starchy food andno
mention of orthodontioa despite having millions of dollars - maybe the
repulsion and fact that I was quiet but very good at certian things eg a
teachers pet made her subconsciously angry- lately she has mentioned
that she is writing her memoirs- her eg o is such that i will be about a
chapter if that. its always Mommys show. shes ALWAYS the star. and
likemany americans Mommy didnt understand the last three years to be
about a quest and a rest. she assumed i was not on the cycle in
amandatory fashion rather than understanding the nature of my “power”.
Mommmy has always wanted a show. when mommy was on the cover of time and
Newsweek she felt good- between crazy Bio mommy and daddy you can see -
i cananyway where i think i got steely nerves and ambition.
My soul is my own. and everyones soul comes through their eyes. people
who have always been pretty in ampodern criteria have a nicer drive- its
easier for them to be kind- they also go crazy if they are youth
dependent females- longevity beauty has a different look than pre thirty
female beauty. ( the love hewitt model)
so i LOST the privelige wich was my ONLY privelige when as an adolescent
my environment changed from noarding school to state institutions and
terrible government food
my aesthetic has always been very epicurian and solitary and aloof
hiowver noithing is more mainstrema than atstate institution- did i read
moby dick? sure if you count the readers digest abridged
Did i BUY the Juvenile Municipal Court system aesthetic of Beauty of
COURSE NNIT
oneof my CAREER choices in 5th and 6th grade in factwas too opena
modeling and acing agency when iwas grown up because i could see bone
structure on people who were called ugly ijn grade school and i knew
whow as actually goping to be aestehicallly beautiful or interesting and
who although popular pre puberty was going to end up in poverty
i had no money to be decorative plus i hate my fathers DNA he did
strange things to my biody when i was too young to recall i know he gave
me LSD atthe least- i didnt want his nose on my face
People were meaner to me. I know this because when eric allowed me to
borrowe th emoney to change my nose they were not only nicer i became
the alpha of my community
all animals are NOT perfect
fruit fly females pick the male withe biggest sac
silver backed apes fight each other to near bloody death to pick the
ripest ( unused non procreated yet) female
there are JILLIONS of examples of selectiove breeding conditions
Our number one issue as a species regardless of race is hip to waist raatio
read survival of the prettiest
when jennifer lopezes mother said to her “i know yoiur gonna get
pregnant” she said so because her daughter has a bnear 0.6 hip to waist
ratio.
on that note if yu fell fat dont worry you can be fat- ive got a pair of
mms jeans from ” a river runs through it” she was bigger than me- im 140
now- she just had a 0.6 hip to waist ratio
lately in the modern aesthetic theres obviously been exaggerated exceptions
i watched heartbreakers the other day- i didnt understand Love- Hewiits
appeal as it relates to art and art history- then i realised weve formed
a new aesthetic of zero ratio of body but very teensy and massive
breats= i think thats just made up i cant explain what signal that
gives. Its not in the animal kingdom.
Perhaps its desirable because not many people can do it- thusly its
coveted?
OIf yopud like to discuss “beauty” please discuss it objectively
when i was 160-170 i NEVER felt ugly or fat- i felt sexy- but a boo y i
used to sleep with no longer wnarted to sleep with me so i went to the
OA meetings just to see my options
i had to meet the modern criteria to fuck this guy- i thought it was dmb
but i id i it- but doint think i though t i was fat
whenever another female engages you in a conversation about food please
shut it down- i find it completekly boring and destructive- i dont know
one succesful female who is really good at her profession or an alpha
female ( as in she gets what she wants AND is an artist) who talks about
food.
This CAN be an intellectual doscussion
someone was pitching an angelina jolie film with me in it- of course id
like to work withher and shes told me the same but i heardf about the
pitch and was told we according to the pitcher “hav ethe same female
demographic” if this is sop
does she have her lips done or not? if she does would that make you
angry? you like her because youi beleives shes above giving a fuck. but
shes also very beautiful.
if she enhanced her lips how would you feel?would you feel she gave a
fuck or was enhabcing an important aspect of her physical “sale” on 35mm
film or woulfd you not care?
. . .
yay Courtney that was really long to be read
here’s my point :
a)you DID look Botticelli Venus when you were younger
b) self acceptance is a complete other issue
c)I get your mind is covered with the worse aesthetic values from
contemporary art (the worst in thousands years).
d)animals are ALL perfect, therefor, humans are all perfect in their
special way.
e) mating is another bloody issue - if you weren’t the “product” of
3maybe 4 races who got to meet in an unbeliavable short time couse of
the unnatural speed of these days (i m kinda “mixed raced “too) you
would find your face and your body in other women sorrounding you, you d
be familiar with yourself and accept and love yourself more. you d even
find the perfect mate (animally and dna speaking)
f)men are assholes. if anyone made you feel guilty for your beautiful
(yes BEAUTIFUL it was) nose. then it s definately HIS problem!
g)body and soul go change together in harmony, no reason to force the
process or you d fall even more out of balance and create weirdish
effects in the mirror and other’s eyes-well this was harsh-
h)your aura shines like an altar, Courtney, don’t let them ruin you,
please, don’t lay down and cry.
__________________
. . .
intelligent response but off
i DID look beautiful as a child i was VERY beautiful
a hakf sibling told me my mother burnt all of the photographs of me as a
child- one wonders what she was doing this for- she also forbade me from
pursuing axcting- she also abused me in many cruel and humilaiting ways-
my theory wich she denies is that my biological father was so repulsive
to her and because her father ( adoptive) had abused her phsyically she
was even more freaked out by the sexual repulsion than an normal non
abused person would be- thusly ny early beauty and later ugliness
enhanced by uniforms provided by the State and starchy food andno
mention of orthodontioa despite having millions of dollars - maybe the
repulsion and fact that I was quiet but very good at certian things eg a
teachers pet made her subconsciously angry- lately she has mentioned
that she is writing her memoirs- her eg o is such that i will be about a
chapter if that. its always Mommys show. shes ALWAYS the star. and
likemany americans Mommy didnt understand the last three years to be
about a quest and a rest. she assumed i was not on the cycle in
amandatory fashion rather than understanding the nature of my “power”.
Mommmy has always wanted a show. when mommy was on the cover of time and
Newsweek she felt good- between crazy Bio mommy and daddy you can see -
i cananyway where i think i got steely nerves and ambition.
My soul is my own. and everyones soul comes through their eyes. people
who have always been pretty in ampodern criteria have a nicer drive- its
easier for them to be kind- they also go crazy if they are youth
dependent females- longevity beauty has a different look than pre thirty
female beauty. ( the love hewitt model)
so i LOST the privelige wich was my ONLY privelige when as an adolescent
my environment changed from noarding school to state institutions and
terrible government food
my aesthetic has always been very epicurian and solitary and aloof
hiowver noithing is more mainstrema than atstate institution- did i read
moby dick? sure if you count the readers digest abridged
Did i BUY the Juvenile Municipal Court system aesthetic of Beauty of
COURSE NNIT
oneof my CAREER choices in 5th and 6th grade in factwas too opena
modeling and acing agency when iwas grown up because i could see bone
structure on people who were called ugly ijn grade school and i knew
whow as actually goping to be aestehicallly beautiful or interesting and
who although popular pre puberty was going to end up in poverty
i had no money to be decorative plus i hate my fathers DNA he did
strange things to my biody when i was too young to recall i know he gave
me LSD atthe least- i didnt want his nose on my face
People were meaner to me. I know this because when eric allowed me to
borrowe th emoney to change my nose they were not only nicer i became
the alpha of my community
all animals are NOT perfect
fruit fly females pick the male withe biggest sac
silver backed apes fight each other to near bloody death to pick the
ripest ( unused non procreated yet) female
there are JILLIONS of examples of selectiove breeding conditions
Our number one issue as a species regardless of race is hip to waist raatio
read survival of the prettiest
when jennifer lopezes mother said to her “i know yoiur gonna get
pregnant” she said so because her daughter has a bnear 0.6 hip to waist
ratio.
on that note if yu fell fat dont worry you can be fat- ive got a pair of
mms jeans from ” a river runs through it” she was bigger than me- im 140
now- she just had a 0.6 hip to waist ratio
lately in the modern aesthetic theres obviously been exaggerated exceptions
i watched heartbreakers the other day- i didnt understand Love- Hewiits
appeal as it relates to art and art history- then i realised weve formed
a new aesthetic of zero ratio of body but very teensy and massive
breats= i think thats just made up i cant explain what signal that
gives. Its not in the animal kingdom.
Perhaps its desirable because not many people can do it- thusly its
coveted?
OIf yopud like to discuss “beauty” please discuss it objectively
when i was 160-170 i NEVER felt ugly or fat- i felt sexy- but a boo y i
used to sleep with no longer wnarted to sleep with me so i went to the
OA meetings just to see my options
i had to meet the modern criteria to fuck this guy- i thought it was dmb
but i id i it- but doint think i though t i was fat
whenever another female engages you in a conversation about food please
shut it down- i find it completekly boring and destructive- i dont know
one succesful female who is really good at her profession or an alpha
female ( as in she gets what she wants AND is an artist) who talks about
food.
This CAN be an intellectual doscussion
someone was pitching an angelina jolie film with me in it- of course id
like to work withher and shes told me the same but i heardf about the
pitch and was told we according to the pitcher “hav ethe same female
demographic” if this is sop
does she have her lips done or not? if she does would that make you
angry? you like her because youi beleives shes above giving a fuck. but
shes also very beautiful.
if she enhanced her lips how would you feel?would you feel she gave a
fuck or was enhabcing an important aspect of her physical “sale” on 35mm
film or woulfd you not care?
–
I am my own parasite, i don’t need a host to live…(kurt cobain)
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